己利利人、己達達人 God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
提綱契領 An Introduction of This Work
這篇中英對照的自書文章未經重大修訂，總計大約15,885字，是我已經為服務歷程而書寫的一百多萬字、置於不同時空中的小小一部份；然而，與時並進的同時，我發現自己已然來到服務區塊上的某種不一樣的層次，這是令人欣喜也令人期盼的。
而但願我這小小的火花持續延燒一陣子，像是透過這樣的活動而藉由更多人的力量，使那些在內心世界裡裡外外受苦受難的身體或者心靈，獲得更多釋放:
https://morerayofhope.blogspot.com/2026/01/shining-life-gatherings.html
This
work of mine is not truly well edited. It is about 15,885 words, which is
merely a small part of the more-than-a-million-word-count left at different
times and spaces recording my humanitarian gestures worldwide. At this stage, I
find myself to be a bit “more mature,” providing me with opportunities to serve
more. It is then my humble wish that this tiny sparkle of mine can keep burning
itself for a while, as such may allow those who suffer either mentally or
financially some chances to see more light.
The First Shining Life Gathering
In
our first meet-up
during our publicly-good meet-up, we were focusing on doing something helpful
for the others, how it can generate more fruitful outcome in our connections
with the others, and how wonderful it can benefit ourselves all the way back,
seemingly reflecting the essence of a common saying “God helps those who help
themselves.”
第一次的大好人生溫馨分享
我知道「GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.」這句英語若要中譯應該是「天助自助者」，然而近來的我由於歷程來到另一種、在過去我自己從來未曾想像過的境地，而深深感到這句話在我自己的母語當中，假若能夠翻譯為「己利利人、己達達人」，或者更要來得貼切而又傳神，也基於這樣的原因，我更加感受得到一個語言及其語系的博大精深之處，必須仰賴我們自己走過一些道途，才能理解一些言語的表達方式應該如何得以更加撼動人心。以這次我們正式而言第一回「大好人生溫馨分享」的聚會而言，我就很開心我們透過利人利己的概念描繪出那份動人的情誼交流，畢竟，我們的交流圍繞著的一個重要主題，即「利他、慈愛」的精神以及其所傳達出的「利人利己」氛圍。
One
of the very dazzling stories went like this:
“I
was a volunteer ever since I was a five-year-junior-college student. In the
club called ‘Loving Kindness,’ I went to the mountains for an orphanage in
Lou-gue, Taiwan, established by a couple who often ran out of the financial
resources at the moment: in fact, it would be the wife who would like to adopt
orphans and her husband was supportive of her decision. Surprisingly, because
of this kind attitude of mine, I began to enjoy eating cabbage. Previously, I
would not have too much of it. In fact, I looked as if I would have suffered
from malnutrition. When we were, however, spending time with the kids inside
that orphanage, we played with and accompanied them every day during the
vacations. For our three meals, staffers in the orphanage made sure we had
something delicious to eat altogether. It is because of this experience that I
started to love eating things I did not enjoy eating before, something like
cabbage! That is the reason I became aware that when we are doing something
good for the others, we unavoidably do something amazing back to ourselves,
allowing me the possibility to be not that thin anymore.”
其中一個故事是這樣的：
「我從五專一年級開始就參與了一個名為『慈幼社』的社團，因為這個社團，我曾經前往台灣六龜育幼院/孤兒院服務，這是由一對當時經常在經費上捉襟見肘的夫婦所創立，因為這位妻子希望認養孤兒，所以她的另一半就義無反顧地支持著她的決定。
讓我自己比較驚訝的是，因為這樣一絲絲善念與些微的付出，我竟然一反常態，開始喜歡吃高麗菜了!!!以前的我幾乎不碰高麗菜，我甚至(或許是挑食之故)看起來有點營養不良似的。然而，當我們在寒暑假這種長假於六龜育幼院裡陪伴孩子們，每天與都這些院童們一起玩、一起生活時，三餐方面，在院方工作人員的細心照顧與呵護之下，在大家共享美味可口的食物的當下，我發現尤其是山上生產的高麗菜竟然如此香甜可口，正是因為這段經歷，我開始轉而喜愛上那些我過去一點都不喜歡吃的食物，竟也多多少少藉此擺脫我那身形瘦小的陰影！」
The
Worlds Outside & Inside of Us
People
around me are falling quite easily into two sides; none of them is incorrect or
correct, for I believe every single matter is the fruit of our personal choice,
destiny, and our confidence in the things we do. In the past, my college
students used to argue about whether it was right for me to teach them in a
very unorthodox fashion which suggested to them that they should be critical in
their thinking process and altruistic; currently, when my mission towards the
world carries me to another level where I do not only focus on students who are
“real” students still inside the schools or colleges/universities, but also
those who are older than me—to them, whether I should stay single or not,
handling things in the kitchen and tending the tidiness of a home, has become “controversial”
because one side of them are strongly convinced I am too independent to be with
any Mr. Right whereas another have voiced since I have worked so hard for the
needed, I also need to be protected by any Mr. Right out there “who can be
sensible about my senses and sensibility while helping me to give birth to
babies.” ALAS! I don’t think people really understand that pregnancy is the
best at certain “moment” of life, which is definitely NOT the “moment” I am
going through now in MY life! This group claims that “modern medicines practice
miracles,” in which, particularly the word “miracle” means a lot more than, to
me, to have children of my own.
No
matter whatever I express or explain, no party would buy my own versions of
stories, as if I have turned out to be the daughter or sister of EVERYBODY who
FEELS having the right to suggest and say, critique and verbalize anything to
me. Once, a close friend of mine said to me,
“Why
do you never fight back? You need to show them how strong you are!”
Deep
down, I just feel amused, completely funny in such situations, and I do not
feel it correct that my strengths need to be shown in circumstances like the
above mentioned or any, at all.
我們的內心世界以及外在世界
針對很多事情，人們喜歡選邊站，就算是我身邊的人似乎也很容易分成兩派；很多時候選邊站並沒有誰對誰錯的問題，因為每一件事都是我們的個人選擇、命運、以及我們對自身行為的信念所結出的果實。
只是，怎麼選邊站的事情與我也相關呢? 舉例來說，過去，在台灣的大專院校任教時，某些我所任教的大學生們時常爭論我這個作為他們的教學者的人，是否應該用同時鼓勵他們能夠批判思考、並培養與保持利他精神，如此顛覆傳統的方式教學。
而今，當我的職志將我帶到了另一種不同的層次，使我不再只能關注那些仍在校園中學習的、真正還是學生們的學生，而必須把焦點放在比我年長的成年人士、老年人士的學習空間裡面的當下，而這些成年人自然而然關注著更多議題時，這些人的討論選邊站問題變成了：
「不管Hope老師過去的故事是什麼，她難道不該結婚嗎？
她難道應該作家事嗎？」這類探究當中。
為何要把我這個當事人牽扯進去這種非黑即白的爭論現場呢？
也許這些有著從和緩進而變成激烈的辯論觀點的人士，認為我成熟到可以接受大家的秤斤論兩？
也由於這樣的關係，這些「仍在討論中的」事項變得「十分具有爭議性」，甚至由於我的教學場域遍布不同海內外地區，於是，大家竟然在不同的時空當中，都因為「Hope是否應該獨身」這件事而有兩派之分：
有這樣一派人群深信我獨立而充滿信念，不適合與任何「Hope專屬的白馬王子」在一起共度餘生，也不應該「浪費時間」處理家務事，彷彿他們不知道下廚、擦地、除草等這些他人眼中看來的「瑣事」，正是我創造生活樂趣的方式，尤其在必須同步處理諸多國內外服務行程中所衍生的、可說是盤根錯節的事宜的當下。
我甚至還遇過在聽見我「並沒有請人打掃環境」的習慣後，目瞪口呆的人士如此詢問我說：
「老師，妳不覺得以妳的高度，不用作那些事情了嗎?!」
於是我連「喜歡自己清理教室環境而不假手學生群」這件事，都不敢說出口，因為對方應該會當場給我白眼。
於此同時，有另外一派人群則認為Hope已然「為世界」付出如此之多，就應該有一位能與Hope「並駕齊驅」、並協助Hope生兒育女的「Hope專屬的白馬王子」，來與Hope白首到老，只是這一派人士似乎也並不能真正理解，對像我這樣一位早早就立志「作為眾人的教學者」而捨棄「作為他人的母親」的女性而言，懷孕不但有其理想的時機，更早早不存在於我的職志版塊當中。我並非認為擁有自己的孩子是件壞事，如果我有八隻手和八個腦袋，我也願意如此選擇，只是一個人在一生中的體力及耐力有其侷限，如果我選擇的就是我現在所行走的這條路，那麼如果我仍生兒育女，在某種程度上當我不能陪伴這樣的子女反而花了大量的時間在第三世界無以計數的小朋友、少男與少女之上，這對我若有自己的子女時，是否會讓他們感到「不公平、媽媽都不照顧我們」呢?
曾經有與我出動到國外服務的台灣學生們，都已經是大專生了，還會說出：「Hope老師對貧窮國家的學生都和顏悅色、對我們總是恰恰相反」的話，誠然，這令我檢討自己與他人的應對進退，但更令我不禁想像「如果是自己的孩子的話，又當如何」的畫面，尤其在我已經透過英語和藝術的學習而輔導過無以計數的叛逆學生之後……
而即便我這樣表示了，這一派人士仍然聲稱：
「現代醫學可以創造妳想像不到的奇蹟，Hope，妳能不能有個自己的孩子? 一個就好?!」
他們不知道這話在我於擔任空姊時就有人說過了，而且說得十分言之有理一般。
無論我如何解釋，似乎沒有任何一方願意接受我那折中型態的、「上蒼自有安排、人家會自己找到我」的版本；那就好像我突然成了「所有人」的女兒、孫女、或者姊妹——每個人都覺得自己有權利和義務或者道義等等，對我提出建議、批評、甚至指指點點，導致曾有不下一位朋友如此對我說：
「妳為何從不反擊？妳為何從不生氣？妳為何從不氣餒？妳應該讓他們看看妳有多強！」
然而，我只覺得那樣兩方甚至在我面前開始激烈辯論的情境，不僅令人感到會心一笑、甚至有些荒謬，不論因為我並不認為自己的力量需要在那些喜感十足的衝突情境之下被證明、或者必須向任何人解說或者展示我的理念，我更感到自己有「何以我們不能針對一些東非、或我們即將趕赴的印尼不同校園內的文化來作一些討論」之類的想法，那種如果直接了當說出口，別人會當場因為沒有接觸過相關事宜，而啞口無言或者無言以對的想法。
Attaining a Peaceful Inner World
追求內在世界的平靜
In
spite of such controversies, I have to drag my readers, all of you, to another
angle: during the journeys of me assisting the financially needed, I “accidentally”
learn that people “suffer” everywhere, either material-wise, mentality-wise, or
both; because of such a realization, “to help the others,” in my eyes, is to
give a hand to those who have experienced such tormenting emotions when they
live, sleep, work, and/or learn.
撇開這些爭議不談，我想先把讀者們帶到另一個視角：在我協助經濟弱勢者的旅途中，我「意外地」發現，人們無時無刻不在承受著痛苦——不論是物質上的、心理上的，或兩者皆是。因此，在我眼中，「幫助他人」就是向那些在生活、休憩、工作、或學習中經歷折磨情緒的人伸出援手。
Until
only recently, I have heard people talking about how rich Hope, that would be
me, in their mind, is; this issue itself makes me quite surprised, for the
person’s viewpoint is upon that I am healthy mentally, physically, and even
spiritually. Such was a point discussed in the above-mentioned occasion while I
am still chewing the words mentioned by this very individual whom I have
respected a lot, whom I am treated by as a family member. Like my Kenyan Mama
or African Mama, this person is walking into her twilight years. Our
interactions reminded me of the book Tuesdays with Morrie, in which the author
describes how a male student, facing his aged, withered male professor after
not making contact with this professor for nearly two decades, found his
professor dying due to untreatable physical conditions. From there, the “guru,”
that professor, and the learner, the author, began a sequence of interactions
marking one of the most intricately profound story to be told again and again
through normal educator like me inside different classes, or via media talents
shooting the original work into a movie and so on. To the writer himself, this trajectory
turn of life has made it possible for him to not only get more inspirations to
write more stories enthralling people all over the world but to initiate
charity works to authentically make a difference.
In
between individuals and our different stories of life, there are almost always
many aspects to absorb the beauty of ideas from. To tell the truth, when I
interact with people, such interactions doubtlessly remind me of those I have
had already made contact with, stories I have had already read, and scenes I
have had already seen: from there, more individuals can be acquainted, more
stories can be heard and/or read, while more scenes can be observed. For me,
DEJA VU takes place everywhere, either due to the people or other creatures, at
anywhere in the world, for I have believed that pictures individuals created have
kept sending me many truthfully benign, dazzlingly breathtaking messages beyond
comprehensions, in which the messages themselves may not be all friendly, yet
when I am aware that my mind is filled with buffers tempting to transform every
detail of the illusions that I believe to be negative, all those which arrive
into my life can be of friendly lines coloring the shapes portrayed in my mind.
What
are the shapes about? They are all gearing towards somewhere with loving
kindness and/or altruism, something I used to read in the literature of
(social) science but when practiced in reality, has become the sheer forces
bringing me much peace in the mind, as recorded through scientifically proven
research results.
直到最近，我才於聽聞人們是這樣談起他們心目中的 Hope，也就是我本人是個「富有的人，因為她在心理、身體、心靈上都健康而充盈」。當這樣的觀點在近日不只一次被提出時，尤其其中多位來自於我十分敬重、也視我如家人般對待的前輩所言，這些人就如同我的肯亞媽媽一般，來到生命的某段更加充滿睿智的觀察語彙和心得的時刻點。
如此喜悅而自在的互動使我想起《最後十四堂星期二的課》（Tuesdays with Morrie）這本書。書中描述著一名男性學生在十幾、二十年未曾聯繫曾經激發過自己，但如今已然年邁而為絕症所擾的男性教授，才發現自己這名讓他作為一位大學生時感到暖流來到的教授，正緩而走向其生命終點。從那一刻起，作者本人和他的這名生命導師展開了一連串深刻而細膩的對話，不但成就了一本世界暢銷書，也由於這樣值得一再被述說的動人故事，而被翻拍為電影：不論是在像我這樣微不足道的教育工作者於不同課堂中講述此書，或透過影像創作者將原著拍成電影等形式，這個故事持續在世間流傳。
對原本總是訪談功成名就、日進斗金的知名體育人士的體育記者，也是作者而言，這段無預警而突如其來的生命轉折，不僅讓他獲得更多靈感，寫下更多感動全球讀者的作品，也促使他發起一個接著一個的慈善組織，甚至領養與他和妻子膚色截然不同的孩子，而踏上真真切切為世界帶來良質轉變的步履，像是回應著他那位身為社會學的教授在世時的字句提醒般。
所以，於我而言，人我之間當我們各自不同的人生故事在世間與宇宙間流轉時，我相信總是蘊藏著諸多值得汲取的動人旋律與思維。老實說，當我與他人互動時，這樣的信念使我與人在交流之間體會許許多多，讓我可以想起曾經遇過的人、讀過的故事、以及看過的場景；於是透過我這樣的人，更多人得以結識，更多故事可以被人聽聞或者翻閱，更多畫面也能夠映入所有人的眼簾。對我而言，似曾相識或者所謂的「既視感」（déjà vu），無論是因為人，或其他生命，在世界上的任何一個角落因碰撞而產生的火花，無所不在。
我始終相信人們所創造出的種種畫面，不斷向我傳遞真誠而良善、耀眼卻又令人屏氣凝神的訊息；即便發出那些訊息的人本身，未必全然在帶有正面情緒的力量之下，發展出那些訊息，但當我覺察自己在心念之中已經萌生某種轉換之力，充滿著足以轉化種種可能帶上負面幻象的圖像成為正面能量時，所有進入我生命中的人事物，在我的內心世界裡面，幾乎都可以消融為柔和的線條，為我心中所描繪的形狀上色。
那麼，這些形狀指向了何處、又是什麼形體呢？
說真的，她/他/它們全都都有著某種虛幻卻又真實的形體，也全部朝向充滿慈愛與／或利他的方向前行。
這些內心轉化需要透過長時間利他行為實踐的概念，拜自己唸讀過西方著名學府之賜，受到西方批判性思考的薰陶，講求真理必須在實証下出現的情況下，過去的我只在那類普羅大眾往往束之高閣的社會科學類別裡實事求事、証據必須百分百的期刋或著書之文獻裡讀過；然而，當我真正幾乎莫名奇妙走上這條公益而人道之途，把利他精神一而再、再而三透過不斷敲擊自我的最後一塊屬於自我中心的堡壘，而實踐於我自己本人舉凡兩岸三地的再回歸初等與中等教育現場鍛鍊自己以及學習、幾十年來從不間斷的每年數月於國際偏遠邊陲地帶與各地村民們交流……等現實的工作及生活場景時，我發現這種透過利他行為和思想的練心機制，果然如同許多經典古籍內所言，也如同科學論証書籍人所提，成為帶給我內心那種廣大無邊的平靜感的純粹力量。
Perhaps this is because I have always
believed that the images of life each person creates convey messages that go
beyond what the ordinary logics or common senses can fully comprehend.
More importantly, as the one who receives
the messages transmitted through the others, I myself remain consistently
within a certain state and frame of inner calmness. I do not believe that
external circumstances must necessarily drive my inner world into chaos or
anxiety. Like interacting with people from all over the world, like that
emitting friendliness to me, reminding me of stories like Tuesdays with Morrie,
the book mentioned earlier, I am able to sense the unrest and turmoil within
the other people, and the dramatic, often destructive negative tensions such
status of minds imposed upon such people’s probable but currently
hard-to-attain inner peace. To some extent, many of the things I do may be
intended to reduce such tensions and harms brought by different individuals’
harm done to the others when they themselves are unaware of. Nonetheless, before
my determinations and resolutions to diminish tensions and destructiveness
before they arise or seemingly arose by the rest of us, I must acknowledge that
its awakening stemmed from years of altruistic intentions and actions devoted
to benefiting all the living beings.
When such altruistic intentions and actions
reach a certain level, I begin to understand what (social) scientists refer
to—through empirically validated research—as the state of “benefiting oneself
by benefiting others, and realizing oneself by enabling others to realize
themselves.” This stands in contrast to my earlier condition, when I could only
process the words in books without truly absorbing their meaning. Thus, I can
now say, in a grounded and unembellished way, that although the external world may
practically be in constant turmoil, and although others’ negative emotions and
interpretations of events may still find their way into my thinking and daily
life, I can now sense within myself a vast energy field that seems to soften
and dilute the negative elements when they do enter my life, allowing my inner
world to possess a certain expansiveness and tranquility.
The scale of this inner landscape may not
yet be vast, but I will never forget the forms or images I was initially able
to generate since they could be violent, dramatically negative in nature, a
huge contrast to an entirely different landscape I have gradually constructed
within.
I feel like a magician and it’s true.
或許這是因為我始終相信，每一個人所創造出的生命圖像，都向我們傳遞著超越一般常理可以堪透的訊息嗎?
更為要緊的，是接收著這些他人生命圖像所傳導的訊息的我自己，恆常處在某種平靜的內心世界當中，我不認為外在的某些事情必須讓我在內心深處狂亂或者不安，而我感受得到他人的不安以及狂亂給他們的內心世界帶來的如戲劇性般負面的張力或者殺傷力，也許在某種程度上，我所做的很多事情，是削減這種張力及殺傷力，而在這份企圖將某種張力及殺傷力削弱的決心昇起之前，我不得不承認這種企圖心的覺醒，其實源自於經年累月希望助益他人的利他心理及行動：
當這些利他心理及行動來到某種層次時，我可以理解(社會)科學家們所想談的、經過研究証實的那種「己利利人、己達達人」，大略是什麼樣的景況，這對比了我個人在過去只能消化書中文字，卻無法真正吸收的窘境，於是，如今的我可以很平實的說，外在世界確實不斷變化，甚至他人的負面情緒及對事件的解讀，可以在過往的我的生命歷程之中進入的我的思維及生活裡面，但我可以感受到自己內裡那股偌大的發電場、能量場，好像可以淡化那些進入我的生命裡面的負面之事，使我在內心世界裡面擁有某種寧靜的氣象萬千。
這種氣象萬千至今的幅度或許不大，但我始終不會忘記我自己初始能夠產生的圖像的樣貌，或許正是由於利他行為的不夠深入而無法擁有氣宇軒昂的雄壯脈絡，但是如今，我卻恰恰感受到完完全全不同的風貌。
我真真實實感覺得到，自己好像變魔術般將自己的內在世界調整成一個完完全全不同的風土民情。
Based
on such realizations which sweep me over through the years of my going away
from my homeland, thinking I need to put efforts into the wellbeing of the
economically less fortunate, only to find that, just like what social
scientists have stated, that after people’s wealth is up to a certain point,
more wealth can be “nothing” to them; at the same time, when people do not
focus on practicing altruism, countless troubles surface in people’s lives to “torture”
them, making it hard for them to fall asleep, to socialize with the others,
and/or to be emotional in people’s own self-created dramas.
多年來因為常常離鄉背景隻身前往落後國度的貧困地區進行自己發起、與當地人士討論後繼而執行的公益行動，卻又同時在世界的富饒之處工作、或者實驗與觀察自己的教學能耐，我逐漸意識到自己不但應該致力於提升經濟弱勢族群的福祉，也發現正如社會科學家所指出的，當人類的科技文明及其如影隨形的財富累積到某個程度後，更多的金錢對許許多多人類而言，反而「毫無意義」可言，於是應該站在提升人類思想與精神層面的立場，與那些在經濟條件上並非弱勢的人群互動，尤其當我發現自己與他人的反差，履試不爽：
也就是當他人因為某事而極度憤怒或者低潮時，我竟然在遇到雷同事件時幾乎不為所動，只是一笑置之。
例如在職場始終被人禮遇有嘉但終於在某個我想磨鍊自己的場域中，被中階主管集體霸凌時，所有希望保我週全的高層主管們竟然說及：
「我們最擔心妳的地方，就是妳完全沒有抵禦自己的能力。」
我也對他們認為我應該報復、使出某些手段的看法，感到訍異，因為甘地曾經說過：
「如果每個人都以牙還牙、以眼還眼的話，這個世上所有的人都會既無牙、也無眼」，這樣的一代聖雄所教導我們的「冤冤相報何時了」，難道還不夠嗎?
就像有一次搭乘飛機，坐在我旁邊和我同一個輩份的商人，一下子就猜到我曾經當過空姊，並且我們就這樣開始聊起了天的時候，他說他已經有十多年沒有和父母連絡過。
為什麼呢?
「我對他們感到不爽，他們偏心，把所有的資源給了我哥。」這個臉型四四方方、我從來未曾謀面、之後也沒有再連絡過的男士說。
同樣身為男性，請問令兄有像您這樣到海外工作的機會嗎?
「沒有，他沒有能力，可是那干我何事? 我整個家的事都和我無關。」
我不曉得這位男性是否感到在機上萍水相逢一段短短的時間，和一個陌生人不需要太過隱瞞細節或什麼原因，他幾乎鉅細靡遺地也交待了他為何會與現在的妻子在一起，以及他為何不帶妻子返家探親等等。
我們以為這樣的劇碼只在特殊場合上演著，但實際上我的觀察是，在所有的社會之中，人我之間的糾結力道，層出不窮，若非如此，馬可吐溫在其著名的文學名著「湯姆歷險記」之中，也就不需要花費那麼多文字來書寫兩個頑童、以及他們與所有同學和家人或者朋友間，上下起伏的遭逢的故事了……
Clearly
I remember working as a flight attendant, I was asked to sell duty free items
quite frequently. Once, when I was bullied by a supervisor of mine in one
long-haul flight. Ignorant, I did not sense I was taken advantage of while
still moving my carts serving beverages, food, and selling duty free items
during the flight. About ten minutes later after the duty-free cart was stored
safely, when I finally got the opportunity to sit down, being a rookie, I was
called into the cabin of the first class where the “boss” of all the flight
attendants worked.
“Please
sit down.” The boss in her most delicate appearance told me. Not knowing what
had just took place, I sat there, on one of the steel containers situated
already on the cabin floor of the galley, or, a more usual term, inflight
kitchen, facing different flight attendants who’re absolutely a lot more experienced
in the field than I. Amongst them, there was a person dressing like a
passenger, not a crew.
Our
boss that day said, “This is a passenger who also used to be my colleague. She
described to me that the other side of the isle, a flight attendant more senior
than you, was taking advantage of you. Did you or did you not have to travel
back and forth to the galley constantly due to her requests asking you to fetch
a variety of beverages for her while serving passengers, resulting your apparently
sluggish service mode?” As a person who already taught for quite a few years
before being a flight attendant, I noticed this Boss that day talked quite
eloquently.
Before
I could say anything, she continued. “Did she or did she not ask you to push
the duty free cart throughout the different cabins, all by yourself, while she
was sitting there to enjoy her meal, making you the last person to sit down and
eat?”
Again,
before I could say anything, the person looking like a passenger told me, “Younger
sister, you’re too kind. You cannot let people abuse you like that. You need to
fight back, or else it is hard for you to survive in this industry. You have to
understand that not everybody is as kind as you!” After this remark, the
captain opened the door of the cockpit and joined their serious conversation;
on the other hand, I was dismissed, aware they were to write a report about
this person who was about a year or so more senior than me in terms of entering
the airline I used to serve.
What
they did not know was since I knew before the flight that I was supposed to
sell duty-free items, I had prepared the necessary change for the possible
transactions. Moreover, as in our airline, there was no competition in terms of
which flight attendant selling more or less, it was clear then, that most of
the crew had not enjoyed selling duty-free items ranging from perfume,
cigarettes, and so on. As I almost always had the pleasure to help out, all of
a sudden, I could find that I had become “the most popular” flight attendant
onboard of any of the flights I had served, that passengers enjoyed asking me
for any beverages, food, or requesting me to sell them anything on the
duty-free carts whenever they like. In that specific flight where I was accused
of being manipulated by a person more senior to me, because that person who
should work with me at the same position acted as if I owned all the duty free
carts and all the sales were dependent on me, I ran out of the coins I had
prepared.
“No,
it is strictly your business when you ran out of coins. Why do you have to talk
to me?” That happened a while ago before I was summoned to the first class for
that “talk” between the Boss, the passenger claimed she’s a former flight
attendant of the same airline, and other onlookers working in the same cabin as
our crew. Inexperienced, I went to apologize to the foreign passengers wishing
to buy certain products after reading our duty-free magazines. I could not
forget their face showing their disappointment or even disapproval as they held
only cash at the moment, not credit cards after I had asked almost every flight
attendant in the economy class for assistance, in the wish to exchange some
coins or bills that were smaller to no avail.
By the time I had to leave the airlines,
cutting my aviation career short despite of the fact I was invited to be inside
the management team due to my winning a seat to be a formal teacher, the
teacher training program lasting a year was waiting for me, and I had already
made up my mind to be a “different” teacher, I felt that being a flight
attendant was one of the most special “training” I had had in my life, allowing
me to see the world with very different perspectives while all the way, I was
making those on-board interacting with me happier when they left the planes.
我清楚記得，當我擔任空服員時，經常會被輪到要販售免稅商品。有一次，在一趟長程航班中，我遭到一位資深主管的欺負。當時的我太過天真，並未察覺自己被利用，仍推著餐車，提供飲料、餐點、並販售免稅商品。
大約十分鐘後，當免稅車已收妥、我終於能坐下休息時，身為新人的我卻被叫到頭等艙——那裡是該趟航班機組人員的最高主管所在之處。
「請坐。」那天機上的最高主管語氣溫和、外型優雅地對我說。
我完全不知道發生了什麼事，只能照著他們的要求坐了下來，面對著好幾位經驗遠遠比我豐富太多的空服人員。其中還有一位從衣著來看，與一般乘客並無二置的人。
主管說：「這位是我們這架班機當中的乘客，經濟艙全滿，妳不會注意到她的，只不過，她以前也在我們這家航空公司服務，她來到前艙向我反映，在走道另一側，有一位比妳資深的空服員在妳們服務乘客茶水餐點時，佔盡了妳的便宜。
我們想查證的，是這名在另一端服務的空服人員，是否不斷要求妳來來回回於機艙前前後後的廚房，替她拿各種她的餐車上已經倒完的飲料，而導致妳這一邊的服務流程看起來相對緩慢許多呢？」
身為一個在任職空服員之前已經擁有教書經驗的為人師表者，我注意到這位主管的口語能力表達清晰而有條理，而這是我至今惟一有深刻印象的事情，對於別人「欺負」於我這樣的事情，我絲毫沒有任何感覺，當下我就沒有，現在仍然覺得：
「就算我真的被欺壓好了，那又當如何?!我這樣幸運，擁有別人所沒有的際遇，有必要在這樣的事情上打轉嗎?!」
這位在當時身為該架客機的最高主管者接著又說：
「她是否要求妳一個人推著免稅車走遍各個艙等，而她卻坐著吃飯，讓你成為最後一個用餐的人？」
在我還來不及回答之前，那位看似乘客的女士對我說：
「妹妹，妳太善良了。妳不能讓人這樣欺負你。你要反擊，否則在這個行業很難生存。妳要明白，不是每個人都像妳一樣善良。」
此時，機長也走出駕駛艙加入談話，而我則在完全沒有答話的情況之下，被請離了頭等艙，但從後艙的長官口中，我得知他們會針對那位比我早一年進公司的空服員，撰寫書面報告，還計畫與公司作口頭報告；幾個月之後，我還得知該名「欺負」我的空姊以記過處份，但卻不是由於和我的服務班機所致，而是她在其他航班中作了其他違紀之事。
知名作家蕭麗紅的「千江有水千江月」一書中採用大量的閩南語來撰寫角色之間相互的談話內容，其中女主角貞觀曾被她的長輩叮嚀：
「惡馬惡人騎、惡人惡人治」的道理；此種道理於我而言一樣受用。
很多時候對我來講，言多必失不如不說，那種跳到黃河也洗不清的事情，只會使事情愈描愈黑，我並不想碰；但我還是懷疑如果我沒有一路在海內外進行服務工作，我這樣某種程度的入世卻又與世無爭，是否可以憑空而來。
關於那趟航班，這些詢問我的高層他們所不知道的是，就像我習慣打掃航班中的各個洗手間般，因為我事先已經知道自己多半要負責免稅品銷售，所以早早已經準備好足夠的零錢。在當時我所服務的航空公司中，免稅品的銷售並沒有任何業績或因競爭而來的壓力或賺頭，因此多數同事其實並不喜歡販售香水、香菸等免稅商品。
也因為我總是樂於幫忙，不知不覺間我常常成為某個航班上「極受歡迎」的空服員，乘客們總是找我點飲料、餐點，或者空服人員們會直接請我推免稅車出去販售商品。
然而就在那趟被指控「遭人利用」的航班上，因為免稅品銷售爆蓬的關係，最終，我把所有事先準備妥當的零錢都已用罄。
「你沒零錢是你自己的事，為什麼要來找我？」——這句話，正是在我被叫進頭等艙前不久，那位資深空服人員們認為是在欺壓我的人所說的。
可是我們難道不用感到好奇嗎？這樣的一位人士明明在他人眼中是「吃人夠夠」、以(官威)「大」欺「小」而占我便宜的人，怎麼反而是這樣的人有著憤怒的情緒呢？多年之後我在閱讀社會科學類的研究時發現一種實驗觀察結果：
人的憤怒是他們內心不平靜的反照，他們憤怒的對象不見得是我們，而是他們所遇見的人、事、物使他們懼怕……
當時在機上身為菜鳥空姊，我幾乎問遍經濟艙所有空服員，卻仍無法換到足夠的零錢，最後，我只好向那些只想用現金付款方式來購買免稅品的外籍乘客道歉。
我永遠忘不了那些乘客臉上失望的表情，他們並沒有不高興，他們所顯現出的態度比較像是：
「我們當然也可以在別的地方買到相同的物事，但我們就是特別想跟妳買，可是妳卻因為種種緣故無法賣給我們，那麼我們只好作罷了……」
當我由於一年期的公校正式英語教師訓練而必須離開航空界，尤其即便有著邀約我進入航空公司管理階層的聲浪時，本就立志要「作個不一樣的教育者」的我，對於在航空界的訓練是滿懷感恩之情的：
那個歷練的本身，又加上我對自己在歷程上非比尋常的要求，無形之中使我在服務人群的氣度及角度上，都有不一樣的力道得以開始慢慢蘊釀。
Never
Hesitate to Take Care of the Others
溫情滿天下
From
then on, I became more and more interested in the ways humans interact with one
another, whether when I was a flight attendant, after I left, in my teaching
career, or do service, humanitarian works worldwide. It is strange, isn’t it,
that people’s memories can be there for as long as they want, it seems, for I
can recall all these details vividly, as if I walked out of that flight just
yesterday. On the same flight, I met a travel guide taking a bunch of her
guests for an overseas journey. She told me that she had never seen anyone
working like that before. Coined me as “The Sweetest Flight Attendant,” this
energetic tour guide introduced me to her guests who worked in the field of
technology. She encouraged them to make friends with me.
“One
of you should have this lady as your perfect wife. Just take her to your
nation!” She commented.
No
one knew, at that moment, years later, another group of people also working in
the field of technology would have heard about my story of helping out in one of
the remote schools in east Africa and decided to donate their income for the
benefits of the same school and its district, boasting hundreds of students,
plus each of the student would have family members of at least ten or so, it
would be a huge village itself, let alone those surrounding regions with more
such public schools nestled. Behind them, it would be villages after villages
contained countless families dotted the entire mountain tops. In 2025, all
these previous decades of work extended to another mountainous area opposite
from this original one. I cannot comprehend, yet, the scope of impact, when I
clearly recall, again, when the locals expressed their ideas to me.
人的記憶真的很奇妙，不是嗎？我至今仍能清楚回想起這些細節，彷彿昨天才下飛機。而我相信我的整個航空業服務生涯使我對於「人」這種奇妙的生物，更感到「充滿可以研究」的興味!!!這種興味盎然之感延伸回到我的教學生涯、以及我的國內外公益行止之上。
依稀記得在同一個航班上的服務之間，我遇到了一位暢遊國際的導遊。她對我說，她從未見過有人如此「熱衷於」工作，她並且稱呼我為「最甜美的空服員」，還把我介紹給她所有的團員，那是一群科技業人士，她鼓勵他們與我交朋友：
「你們其中一人應該娶她為妻，直接把她帶回你們的國家！」她笑著說。
當時我們都不知道，多年後另一群同樣從事科技業的人，雖然與我未曾謀面、我們的膚色及文化背景亦完全迥異，會因為聽到我在東非偏遠學校服務的故事，而決定捐助那所幾乎算是我在東非「開張大吉」的第一學校、其鄰近學校、以及所有遍布山區的學區。每所學校以成百上千的學童數量來計算，每個學童的家庭以「少說十名人口」來衡量，相對巨大的村落及學區與學區間，及其周圍還有一個又一個散落在山頭的村莊……
By
2025, after decades of devotion and collaboration, the “territories” where I
have served have marched towards another side of the mountain, something even
myself cannot really comprehend, as I never bring them much money, only my
brain power most of the time and some foreign visitors to encourage the locals
with me. “The other foreigners may never have stepped into our world. Even when
they can, they are searching for our natural resources, be them wildlife or
minerals; you, Hope, however, are different. We see in you that pure
intervention into our lives to make us better people, to uplift our
communities. That is why whatever you suggest, we follow suit.” My African
brothers and sisters have proclaimed.
到了2025年，這些數十年的努力，又延伸到另一片相對的山區。至今，我仍無法完全理解像我這樣一位隻身進入當地山區、沒有任何偌大財源、多半只是仰賴自己的知識和帶一些外國人到當地與我一同鼓勵這些當地人的作法，怎麼會達到這樣的影響規模，尤其當我再次想起當地人對我說的話時：
「其他外國人也許從未真正走進我們的世界；即使來了，也是為了貪圖我們的野生動物或礦產資源。但妳不一樣，Hope，我們在妳身上看到的是真實而純粹的協助之心，那種為了讓我們變得更好、藉由我們的校區而提升我們社區的行止，因此，無論妳的建議是什麼，我們都願意跟隨。」
我的非洲兄弟姐妹如此告訴我。
Always,
I am curious about why and how they have the intuitive abilities to determine
who can be trusted and worked with. Along the journey, what I never anticipated
to begin with would be the ways middle class there can be moved; by and by,
they also want to do something good for the needed in their society, which,
identical to that of ours by the time when economy in Taiwan, my homeland, was
still climbing, people focused more on feeding themselves instead of giving to
the others.
我始終好奇的地方，是那些東非居民究竟如何憑直覺判斷與他們既不同文又不同種的人當中，誰值得信任、誰能夠合作。一路走來，我未曾預料到的是當我不斷來到這些世界邊陲中「服務」時，那些在當地操著當地土語以及協助我與經濟條件最低下的人群溝通、與我既不同文又不同種的發展中國家裡面的中產階級，竟然也能夠被我這樣一位名不見經傳的弱女子的作為而感動，而逐漸想為他們自己的社會中需要幫助的人付出些什麼；他們社會中大環境的景況正如當年台灣經濟起飛初期，人們多半只顧溫飽，而尚未想到回饋社會。
It’s
just that I never thought I would also (need to) somewhat inspire the middle
class here in Taiwan, in other more developed regions in the world compared
with the developing nations I am still diligently serving, for I sense the
pains derived from our modernization, capitalism, and advanced technology. Truly,
it is an adventure with no textbooks teaching me what to do, nor are there
supervisors telling me which directions to go, as I began my own journey of “helping
out” after, again, as a flight attendant, interacting with the people
everywhere at the lower parts of their respective social ladders. As usual, I
cannot explain why I am completely free from dragging myself to own luxurious
bags, shoes, clothes, etc, for almost my entire life up to this point, I find
myself to be willing to stay at huts built in the remote mountains with the
locals, not to mention just recently, I have spent about half a month
persuading some kindhearted people to “donate” a fancy vehicle for me to drive,
clinging nothing else but my very basic TOYOTA.
自然，我也從來未曾想像過，有一天我也需要在台灣、或其他比我長期服務的開發中國家更富裕的地區，去擔任激發當中某些願意覺醒的中產階級的角色，就在我深切感受到現代化、資本主義與科技所帶來的文明也給人們帶來無形的痛苦，與那些我所服務之地的人群的相對慾望較低、卻較為自在開朗，呈現強烈對比時。
這是一場空前絕後、沒有教科書、沒有主管可以為我指引方向的冒險，而如果一定要探究我之所以踏上這條助人旅程的原因，那麼，或者我們可以說曾經身為一名空服員，在當時就有與世界各地社會底層的人們互動的機會的我，只是把那樣的互動進行得更深入、撞擊得更強烈而已。
至今我仍無法解釋，為何同樣身為機組人員、甚至來到英國唸讀所謂的名校，我對那些機組人員及名校學生愛不釋手的名牌包、高級鞋款、時尚衣著仍然自始至終，毫無執念；在我這自詡為精采無比的一生當中，我像是更願意在世界上的極度偏遠山區與當地人同住般，還可以在全身被跳蚤咬滿了之後滿臉笑容。甚至就在不久前，我還花了好長的時間說服善心人士毋須「捐贈」一輛名廠高級房車給我，因為在世界各地被那些認為對我有義務、責任、道義的「親朋好友」們要求，而開過種種不同廠房出產的大大小小車輛之後，我對自己的一台別人欲要丟棄的二十年TOYOTA老車，仍然情有獨鍾。
When
my peers from the same university I acquired my Master’s degree and the like
accused me of “irresponsibly refute the benefits brought by such a world-class
institute,” I find myself at ease persuading a person, perhaps one of my
students, his/her parent, or his/her child, depending on his/her age group, to
be kind, academic, or both somewhere far away from any developed nation
settings where I used to work and study, roam and frolic. Feeling that the
world is my garden, I never expected to meet two people, occasions to be exact:
one originally from Lebanon but immigrated to the USA, and another an Italian
traveling globally due to his work. Certainly I have had the pleasure to meet
many, many special persons during my career, and these two, I should say, leave
me very strong impressions which I can liberally share here with all of you
because we have never stayed in touch, breaking free of any of the interactive
burdens which can be the result of this piece of work.
當與我自看似世界巔峰級同一所大學的研究所同儕指責我是：
「不負責任地否定出自這個校園所能夠帶來的好處」時，我卻依然平平靜靜在遠離已開發國家的落後地帶，或者規勸著某些人、某個——也許是學生、家長或孩子——的個人，良善待人、學有所長，或兩者兼具。
正當我感覺世界各地就像是我的後花園時，我從未料到自己會在空姊之後的生涯當中遇見兩位白人——準確地說，一位是原籍黎巴嫩、後來移民美國的人，另一位則是因著工作而長年周遊列國的義大利人。在我的職業生涯與人生旅途中，確實遇見過無以計數極為特別的人，而這兩位則適合在本篇文章中述說。也正因為我們從未保持聯繫，於是，我便能夠毫無負擔地將他們的故事分享出來，而不必承受人際互動可能帶來的牽絆。
Around
half way into my decades of serving the needed in the very remote regions of
the world where I often venture first all by myself, I bumped into this
middle-east American who, like my peers mentioned earlier, also worked at the
Wall Street. When we met each other, she was approached by one of the college
students working with me at a remote village somewhere southeast Asia, a place
where very person had but 1 USD per day to live, a place where even the public
bathroom facilities were constructed by my own expense, the villagers enjoyed
going to the river for bathing purposes, though that looked very inconvenient
in our comprehension, let alone the fact villagers were more used to urinate in
the bush, compared with using the bathroom which was built at the same time.
在我服務偏遠地區、幫助弱勢族群的數十年旅程中，我曾經遇見某位中東裔西方女性。她與我先前提到的、那些畢業於我所屬的高等學府的不少同儕一樣，當時在華爾街工作。我們相遇的地方，是東南亞某個經濟條件不佳國度中相當弱勢而偏遠的村落，該處人均為每人、每日一美元，該村落中的水井及公共廁所甚至是由我自費興建，然而就算在興建之後，村民們仍習慣到河邊洗澡，雖然對我們而言不但不便而且無法想像，但村民們多半仍習慣在樹叢中如廁，而不是使用那為他們而興建的洗手間。
“After
spending time with you and the students you have led for the humanitarian
projects you have inside that village you kindly allowed me to join suit, I am
overwhelmed by the power of doing good relying on no one else. You started
completely by yourself, but look at the villagers who do not mind the number of
us visiting them, be we white people like myself or you and your students! Everyone
is so joyful! You know what?! Before I came over here, I thought about killing
myself. I told myself before I departed from New York that I shall at least see
Asia before I do commit suicide. Now, I do not feel like taking my own life. You
have given me much hope. I want to live. I want to do something like what you
have done. I do not want to know your age and anything too personal. They are
not of importance. Somehow, I feel you are my mother, my sister, my daughter,
all in one.” She said.
“Why
do you want to kill yourself?” I asked, sensing this lady chose to talk to me
privately, though she’s aware I’d always encouraged my students to interact
with foreigners when I stayed silent most of the time by their side, allowing
them the space to interact with foreigners who traveled to those places a lot
for different sorts of adventures.
Looking
at me deeply into my soul, this lady whom I may not ever see again, this lady
who has represented so many individuals I have ever met told me her story. “I
am very successful materially speaking. My family managed to immigrate to the
States when I was small. Apparently I am very smart, capable of winning seats
at famous institutes and companies. When I stepped onto the top of the world,
daily, I mourned for God-knows-what. I would get up, look at myself in the
mirror, use the best cosmetics and wear the most expensive clothes, work at the
best company at Wall Street, but feel completely lost. No one knew how I have
felt as everyone envies me, my title, what I have owned, my exquisite apartment
where friends of my social circle came and visited… I was lost, entirely, until
this journey to see those villagers you have taken us to.”
In
awe, I did not know what to say but to politely, silently listen to her
monologue, and wonder what my peers in Wall Street accusing me of not being responsible
would say when they hear this story.
在她與我們上山服務幾次過後，她對我說：
「和妳、還有妳所帶領的學生們相處之後，我深深被妳那種『不依賴任何人、單靠個人的善行義舉就能產生力量』的實際行動所震撼。你是從一個人開始而後有學生跟隨著妳而來的，但你看看這些村民，他們並不在意來訪者是白人、還是像妳和妳的學生那樣的亞洲人，因為包括我們這些和妳一起來的白人，每個人都快樂得不得了!!!在飛來亞洲之前，我其實想過要自殺，但我在離開紐約前告訴我自己，至少我應該要在死前看看亞洲。現在，我不想自殺了。我想活下去。我想做像妳這樣的事，妳給了我無窮的能量。我不需要知道妳的年齡或任何其他私領域的細節，那些對我而言完全都不重要，因為不知何故，我感覺妳同時像我的母親、姊妹與女兒。」
我問她：「為什麼妳想自殺？」我察覺這名女性選擇私下與我談話，雖然她知道我一向鼓勵與我前往海外的學生們與我們所見到的外國人士互動，而我自己往往在學生身邊時保持沉默，給他們更多空間去交流。
她直視著我的眼睛，彷彿與我互相照見我們彼此的靈魂深處。這位我或許再也不會見到面的女士，卻有著與我一生中遇見過的、無以計數的人的，雷同的迷茫。
慢慢的，黑頭髮、白膚色的她，告訴我屬於她這位「電眼女孩」的故事：
「從物質層面來看，我非常成功。我的家人在我很小的時候就移民美國。我顯然很聰明，也有能力進入頂尖學校與公司。當我站在世界的巔峰時，我每天卻為不知名的悲傷而哀悼。每天早上起床，看著鏡中的自己，使用最好的化妝品，穿著最昂貴的衣服，在華爾街最好的公司工作，卻感到徹底迷失。沒有人知道我的感受，因為每個人都羨慕我、我的頭銜、我的財富，還有我那間精緻的公寓，社交圈的朋友們總是來作客……直到這趟旅程，來到你帶我們造訪的那些村莊，我才真正醒來。」
我既敬畏又沉默，只能靜靜聆聽她的獨白。我不禁想像，那些曾指責我「不負責任地辜負我們牛津大學盛名」的華爾街同儕，若聽到這個故事，會作何感想。
Then,
it would be many years later for me to meet the Italian gentleman who is in his
twilight years but still traveling across the continents for his work. Oddly,
he speaks with an accent in his English that was so hard for me to comprehend
what he’s talking about, the first time ever in my life, as wherever I go,
people’s accent in English never bothers me. He and I were talking when I
departed from Nairobi, Kenya, to reach my connecting flight, also in the middle
east, to head back to Asia, on board of an aircraft.
Sitting
across from me, this white-haired gentleman smiled to me when I stored my
carried-on in the overhead bin of that cabin which was rather tiny, leaving us
with only one isle across from one another.
“I
observed you all the way from the time you arrived at the airport until now
that you are onboard.”
I
was very surprised.
After
that, he said “I told myself this must be a very different, special person,
someone at the management level, just like me, quite usual. You see, I work
everywhere in the world because I am a technician who helps different
governments to build reservoirs, plants, and so on. I need to go to a place to
become the leader of a group of local people and guide them to complete the projects
I was asked to do by each and every different government. My wife and I have
two children. We have built a loving family. We love each other very much.”
That’s
good. What do you do in your free time when you are overseas working at
different nations? You must be homesick, right?
“No,
I am not homesick at all. I want to make my employees happy. I miss my family,
of course, yet these co-workers everywhere can also be my family, so I
entertain them by cooking food for them.”
Do
you like to cook?
“Oh,
of course! Cooking is the best way to make more friends!” This gentleman told
me. I totally agree because when I was a student at University of Oxford, I
used to cook daily for my good friends in the building, a local house, where I
stayed. Further, I cooked for my students when they would like to go with me
for some service projects overseas since most of them had never touched a pan
or pot for their entire life when they met me; that’s before I knew we could
hire cooks overseas, and that’s also before my local family members would like
to cook for us by and by when we know each other better and more.
To
explain how and what he cooked, this gentleman showed me many, many photos of
what he had made, all nicely decorated and/or arranged, from appetizers all the
ways to desserts. This person is a true chef himself!
“I
use my culinary skills to treat my colleagues everywhere in the world. This is
a way to thank them for their devotion. By doing so, I have gained many true
friendships. At the same time, I am polishing my cooking skills.” During our
entire flight lasting for quite a few hours, we talked non-stopped about different
values of ours, all because this aging gentleman cared enough to spend some of
his flying hours with me. Rather than to show off, he talked to me like I am a
dear friend while I hardly noticed whatever gaps in between us.
多年後，我又遇見了一位義大利紳士。他已步入人生暮年，卻仍因工作而橫跨各大洲旅行。奇妙的是，他的英語帶著一種濃重口音，成了我人生中第一次幾乎聽不懂對方英文在說些什麼的經驗——而這在我過去的行程中間前所未見。
我們是在從肯亞奈洛比飛往中東、再轉機回亞洲的飛機上交談的。
他坐在我於走道另一側的隔壁，當我將隨身行李放入那個相當狹小的機艙行李架時，他對我微笑著說：
「我從你抵達機場開始，一路觀察你，直到現在妳上了飛機。」
我也沒有多想他是否為詐騙人士或者老千，只是平靜以對。
接著他說：
「我心想，這位女性的舉手投足非常特別，必定像我一樣在管理階層工作。我不需要知道妳的答案，不過我可以跟妳分享，我是一名技術工程方面人員，專門協助世界各國政府建設水庫、發電廠等工程。我必須在不同的國度之中，帶領當地團隊完成任務。我和妻子育有兩個孩子，我們建立了一個充滿愛的家庭，我們彼此深愛。」
我回答：「那很好呀。如此說來，當您在海外工作時，空閒時間都做些什麼？會想家嗎？」
「不，我一點也沒有時間想家。我當然想念家人，但這些在世界各地的同事也可以成為我的家人，我希望讓我這些像家人一樣的員工感到快樂，所以我決定煮飯燒菜給他們吃。」
「您喜歡做菜嗎？」
「當然！煮飯燒菜是拓展社交圈、與人交流最好的方式！」他這麼告訴我。
我完全同意。因為在英國求學時，我常常為這些當時我又從社會人士變成求學中的學生，而結識的四方豪傑們做飯，我們這些全部都不同文、不同種的人常常一起吃飯；接著，我也為隨我出國服務的學生們下廚，因為在遇見我之前，他們大多一輩子沒碰過鍋碗瓢盆。在開始聘請當地廚師、甚至當地家人願意為我們料理之前，我們的日子就充滿了日常生活中必須接受的挑戰。
為了說明他究竟作過什麼菜肴，這位義大利紳士拿出手機，給我看了無數張照片：從前菜到甜點，每一道菜都看來精緻而可口。他根本就是一位真正的廚師。
「我用廚藝款待世界各地的同事，感謝他們的付出。透過這樣的方式，我獲得了真正的友誼，同時也不斷精進自己的廚藝。」
整趟飛行長達數小時，我們幾乎不停地交談，分享彼此的價值觀。他不是在炫耀，而是把我當作一位老朋友；而我，幾乎感覺不到我們之間的任何距離。
The
Conclusion
So
you see, there are many, many different kinds of people in the world. I may not
be able to please everyone; nonetheless, for those whom I can get close,
perhaps our interactions have triggered many wonderful chapters in each and
every of our lives. To be sitting inside a michelin restaurant in a developed
nation can be a treat; to dine with a family living in the
bamboo-leaves-covered hut located right next to a railroad treating me like a
royal, on the other hand, can also be eye-opening. Often, we forget that the
poorest of the poor have some light buried inside them, just like all of us,
and we believe we are the best because we have owned everything that is “developed.”
結 語
世上有各式各樣的人，確實，我們無法取悅所有的人，但對於那些我們能夠親近的人而言，大家的相遇，或許正是為了在彼此的生命當中開啟某些美好的篇章，應運而生。
坐在先進國家中的米其林餐廳用餐，固然是一種享受；但在鐵道旁、以竹葉覆頂的小屋裡，與一戶把我當作貴賓款待的家庭共進晚餐，同樣令人大開眼界。
我們常常忘記在經濟條件上匱乏的貧窮人口心中其實也藏著寶石，就和我們一樣；而我們卻誤以為自己比較有「發展」、有「前景」，所以就自然而然選擇高處而立。
May I
please know, why, then, a flight attendant serving on board of the same
aircraft like that of mine would be acting like what I have mentioned here in
the same article?
Further,
may I please know why when a “rich” person seems to have everything, the person
would like to give it all up?
那麼，我是否能請教，為何同在一架飛機上、來自物質與經濟條件相對極佳背景的空服人員，會做出上面文中所描述的那些行為？
又或者，為何當一個「富有的」人看似擁有一切時，卻想放棄一切？
Pushing
my cart filled with deeds of altruism today, I do not want to be a deity,
something many have proclaimed that I am under the fact I have been “sacrificing,”
in their eyes, too many things what a material life to the extreme can offer. Instead,
I want to experience the toughest, which I might have had, and which I may
experience at the present moment, so that I can be polished to the point when I
can really say, “If you feel like slapping my right face, please do it, and I
will also offer you my left.” That is the point when I am humble enough to see
the world through, to see the truths through and to know that wherever I go, I
will always, like in the past, encounter miracles after miracles out of the
fact I am merely a tool the Heave has utilized for me to do better things for
more. Utterly, I do not feel lower than the others, nor would I feel proud of
myself.
I am
merely a person walking on a path filled with miracles, with the best and most
difficult missions ever to be accomplished—I am happy to be like this so that
no financial assistances towards my projects helping out are truly necessary as
I feel when everybody wants to do good things to the others, there will be ways
that are splendid showing up, for this is the case of mine, and I am the living
proof miracles happen. If I do not explain things this way, I cannot explain
why when I initiated such journeys of mine quite a while ago, I had never met anything
too tragic, only that there were people who’re unhappy how I was treated and
took measures, something similar to that flight where the other more
experienced crew members found I was bullied.
The
bottom line is, even when I am bullied, when I still am doing good things to
the others, the world will treat me sweetly back, never with any arguments or
harsh words, but more and more embraces from each and every corner of the
universe.
That
is why in my mind, I am at much peace. In my comprehension, what I have done
and whom I have served do not need to people’s pity or financial support. What
every single person in this world needs, however, is the sort of kindness that
middle-east American had chosen to forgive herself so she stopped the idea of
killing herself, and that Italian old gentleman wishing to serve every person
around him something delicious, both to the stomach and to the mind.
Indeed
I was just asked yet by another person “How is it possible that you are single?
Are men blind?”
I
was laughing. Silently, I thought to myself “Can a person not be married to the
world and be called as a mother by those who are aging, more advance in age?”
I
think that’s exactly what I have encountered, that those in the deep mountains
in Africa like to refer to me as Mom, something I’d rather ask them not to, for
I am more comfortable to be an educator, more than anything else. Therefore,
please do not be so shocked that I have yet created another piece of drama or
song for my students to act out or to sing; after all, I have enjoyed all these
things in my career. How can I be so selfish to hide them in my own heart,
ladies and gentlemen?
今天，當我推著裝滿利他、慈善、公益行為的推車時，並不認為自己想成為神祇——儘管有人因我所謂的「犧牲」而如此稱呼我「像媽祖」、「是觀音」，因為我不認為自己已然達到那種層次。我只希望經歷最為艱難的磨練，讓自己被不斷愈磨愈光，直到有一天，若我能真正脫口而出的是
「若你想打我的右臉，那麼請便，之後，我也會把左臉轉向你，讓你出手」，那麼在那一刻，我才真正謙卑到能看透世界、看透真理，並且清楚明白無論走到哪裡，我都會一如既往地遇見一個又一個奇蹟，因為我不過是一個被上天使用的工具，去為更多人做更好的事。
我既不覺得自己低人一等，也並不自負。
我只是走在一條充滿奇蹟的道路上，雙肩挑起了或者極為艱鉅、卻也最為美好的使命。我很快樂，因為我深信，當每個人都願意為他人行善，必然會有在這個世界及社會當中更加美好的互動模式，自然浮現，因為這些是我的生命體驗，也是我得以親身證明奇蹟確實存在的原因。
即便我曾遭受不公、甚至被欺負，只要我仍選擇善待他人，世界終究會溫柔以待，回以擁抱，而非爭辯或苛責。
因此，在我心中，一切是如此平靜。
我不認為我所做的事、或我所服務的人，需要任何人的憐憫或金援。這個世界真正需要的，是那位中東裔美國女性選擇原諒自己、從而放下自殺念頭的那份善意；以及那位義大利老先生，願意為身邊每個人端上一道溫暖人心、也溫暖脾胃的料理的那份善意。
上個星期才又有人當面問我：「你怎麼可能還是單身？男人都瞎了嗎？」
我笑了。心裡卻暗自想著：「難道，一個人不能與整個世界結婚，並被比之於年長的人士稱為母親嗎？」
這正是我所遇見的現實——非洲深山裡的人們喜歡叫我「媽媽」，儘管我更希望自己被視為一名教育者。
所以，請不要驚訝我又為學生創作了一齣戲、一首歌，讓他們演出、歌唱。畢竟，這些都是我一生所熱愛的事物。我又怎能如私下釀酒般地，把它們掩藏在我自己心中呢？
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