Journeys 旅程

 

Dear H.

 

 

In a book, I read “His story is my story.” The book is written by a person who uses English as his native language. When he writes, he puts many other people’s stories, written by these persons themselves, inside his book; therefore, this person who tells us the story cannot be someone we all know, yet, the way he talks about things happen to be engrained in my consciousness. It is indeed true, that we go through so many emotions and ideas which can all be like those of the others, isn’t it? That is why when I look at you, I feel quite proud, perhaps a bit like the ways I look at other students of mine who have become more mature, caring, and open-minded, qualities trained by another person’s book I have the pleasure to devour into; this person is a writer who is well received by his government and the president of his nation. In his well-reputed teaching methodology, nothing is about the subjects like Math, Science and so on—he asks his students who often become quite successful in every way possible to pay attention mainly to the ways they interact with people, like they should look at people’s eyes when they talk, respect the elderly, make a space clean, write neatly, and so on. When these two things are combined, I wonder whether I have acted as a fine educator who has tried her level best to make her students realize how important it is to be empathic, compassionate, and skillful in interpersonal relationships.

 

 

In fact, you have changed so much the time when I met you; you have changed to be a better person who is able to positively embrace the others, and in return, they others kindly hug you back, even without that hugging gestures, as in my eyes, many people are hugging each other in a very metaphoric fashion. Once anyone looks at us through their heart and soul, we can feel that. When I see people interact with you, I find they like you very a lot. It doubtless brings you much energy, including those around you.

 

 

Why have you become the ways you are today, have you ever thought about it? You tell me that after this most recent journey taken for the purposes of doing something beneficial for the others, you are more efficient at your work, not troubled by some minute details, and those closest to you have found you to be different in good ways, which has made me even more proud of you. It reminds me of a professor at the university where we all graduated from, Fu Jen, where I was told “Literature is life; life is literature.” Presently, I feel that specifically when people are mentioning about LIFE, it can often act as the denotation of a journey taken. During such a journey of LIFE, we do different things, have varied feelings, visit many places, see a lot of people, and so on. I do not know whether you feel the same, but in my mind, I link the journey of our life into every trip we partake, which is the main reason I ask you about your journey to be taken to Australia with your husband. Thinking back, I literally want to know whether you will bring some of the spirits you have gained through all these trips you have seen when you are in Australia. If so, what are the spirits of these journeys that you will carry to that nation in the south hemisphere? When you tell me that the journey is for the purpose of PLEASURE, I wonder if you understand for every single trip I participate so far, esp. those ones overseas, from such a long time ago, I always write TOURISM in the “purpose of travel” section, but in fact, I know I am doing something else, something enabling me to leave my footprints of warmth and care with the locals, and something resulting my learning from this world plus the universe it sits inside never stops.

 

 

Remember one of the persons whom we have paid so much respect remarks that

“In the beginning, we are thinking about helping the others; nevertheless, we do not know what we can do to help out. Later on, we find that the best part is to accompany these people.” I totally agree her words, this person who selflessly tells us how she and her husband meet each other when they’re merely college students, how they have started their lifelong saga of assisting the needed around us, at the place where we all call homeland. Even before that, I have heard another joint friend of ours stating “Teacher, the accompany you have offered to the pupils is something they would want.” I wonder when we go into these words, and when we see each and every journey all of us have taken, whether we would locate that part of us longing for some understanding from those around us, steps taken to better discover ourselves, and ways for us to better communicate with people. Further, I wonder when in each and every journey we take, we treat that as a lifetime, the very similar idea as when in some religious preachings humans are told that “Each morning, we live again; every night, we die once more,” how we would TRAVEL with different methods.

 

 

Thus, it is incredible to see how we all interpret the same thing differently, esp. when those of you who have spent so much time with me tend to overlook the fact that during this most recent journey we have taken, we are not shown the very poor, which is something we seem to have the need to do, and yet due to all the circumstances, we cannot have accomplished that goal, you seem to be not bothered at all. Instead, you are utilizing the best parts of you to mingle with the nicest areas of the journey we have all participated. May I please know how you have learned not to focus on the negative, but to wholeheartedly appreciate the best of every single detail? And if in every trip you will take from now on, be it in Taiwan, our homeland, or outside it, you will utilize the same notions to travel, what will you gain? What will be the outcome? How will you assist those around you to find more truths about themselves, in addition to yourself and your loved ones?

 

 

Recently a student of mine claiming that he enjoys being taught by me so much regardless of how short in terms of time we have met each other is crying like a baby in front of his classmates and I during one session I am teaching them. Since I do not know about these new students who come into my life with such a huge amount too well, I cannot focus on him entirely, aware there are other a few dozens of students I need to pay attention to. Instead, I do not choose to delay the progress of the lesson. Noticing how this student has enjoyed drawing inside each class they are with me before his crying takes place, I understand that he must be very observant, even sensitive, as the lines of his artwork are quite delicate. When he cannot stop his tears from falling off, one female student who looks very mature comes to me, telling me that

“Teacher, XXX has tears in his eyes.”

The female student who’s almost as tall as I am, being only a fourth grade, is also another person hard to be forgotten. Telling her I am aware of the incident, and knowing the male student has chosen not to explain anything (about why he cries) at that moment, I tell the female student to continue the session, like the day when I see your teardrops cannot come to an end, when we are in Kenya.

 

 

Why you are crying at that moment still is perhaps a mystery to me: I remember the car is taking us away from one of the villages we visit there. It is time for us to say GOODBYE to them, all those in the mountains, the villagers, the students, the schools, and wildlife included. It would be many months later I hear you tell me that it is because you’re touched by the locals, so you’re crying like a baby. You see, many people shed tears based on many reasons, yet because we have all cried, due to heartbreaks or happinesses, that is why I identify with the words that person says, “His story is my story.”

 

 

Deep down, perhaps in each and every person, I see you, the others, and myself; consequently, my links with people, according to some, are fast. At one point, you ask me,

“How possibly can I better master ways to communicate with those who are much older than I am?” Rather than give you that piece of my mind immediately, I ask you to think about the whole thing for a while. Later during our journey, I tell you the following words.

 

 

“H, have you noticed it is not easy to communicate with little children as well? Do you think you are able to understand every child? Is it easy to talk to any of them?”

 

 

You shake your head. We are both laughing. I think perhaps you remember a few things, for example, we are told by a pupil who’s around 8 or 10 years old at the time that the reason why he’s crying is due to our visit to him and his people, when we’re in Kenya. Originally, we believe he must be feeling so sad when he tells us about how many cattle his family owns at the moment.

 

 

Or maybe we should go back to the time when you are in Fu Jen, shockingly, you say to me

“How can your memory be so sharp? You still remember what we have reported on the stage?!”

 

 

I must tell you that this is the fate of an educator who cannot neglect the facts taking place at all the places; therefore, to me, I am taking my trip at the same time while taking the others. One would think this can drive a person like me crazy… The good news is, according to what is written inside the books by some world-famous writers, that research results have shown people can multi-tasking even when it comes to compassion, loving kindness, things we feel that we should be as quiet as possible to meditate. This means even when we are in the modern lives where the hustle and bustle can distract us, making us fall into traps which block us from taking some mind-cleansing trips, we can become oblivious to the troubles surrounding us since we can choose to completely dwell on the thoughts of building the welfares of the others.

 

 

“I have noticed something, teacher, you always put every word into action. You never wait. You always execute the plans you talk about, esp. plans regarding assisting the others.” You tell me recently.

 

 

Indeed I am doing so, and I think by pointing that out, you also notice something significant:

When we do something like this, we make ourselves stronger and stronger inside. We may not understand every person, nor can we stop the others from doing or saying something bad towards us; as we are, however, pay attention to the constructive side of human affairs, that we bring peace and happiness to the others, the wavelengths we send to the others, all those harmonious ones, naturally come back to us.

 

 

May I tell you that on the same day when that male student cries, I have another two students who tell me that they would be back into their classroom for their textbook forgotten but they immediately go to the playground when the bell rings, completely forgets about the textbook?

 

 

Also, can you imagine when a group of students finish their performance on the stage, when the others are applauding, one student gestures the group does not do a good job to his peers, thinking I cannot see him? When asked

 “Why do you think they are not performing well?”

The student says “I’ve never done anything to express I do not enjoy their work” when several classmates of his and I all witness his “movement” of his thumb down.

 

 

If it were you, how would you handle such situations?

 

 

Since each of us takes our journey of life very differently, and since all of us look at one trip with completely, from time to time, opposite viewpoints, how is it likely any journey can make everyone merry? Frankly, it is a mission impossible. Somehow, among all these factors in our respective journeys of life which are contradictorily chaotic, like those arguments we can watch if we choose, from any social media, including TV, honestly speaking, I can strongly sense that loving kindness is the only measure mending the gaps which are sometimes quite nasty, in which each party believes the others are playing tricks on them.

 

 

“I have to choose to be as direct, frank, and simple as I can. These are the only measures to be applied when I walk onto this path about bringing everyone’s journey of life as peaceful as possible, wherever people go, whatever people do, whoever people meet.” I remember I tell you as well as the others such words. Without any dominant words informing what people must do, I have silently encouraged people to watch carefully what sorts of journeys we are all taking:

Pleasure and tourism can always be the basic elements, just like in our own lives, in each and every journey we fly an airplane and go away; however, as you have learned and manifested, with merely some tenderness pouring into those basic elements, it would be like making a delicious cuisine, composing a piece of music, creating an artwork and so on, the entire finished piece is with other more fine tastes.

 

 

I have never said that the very financially deprived are people whom we have to disregard, particularly another joint friend of ours have commented,

“I interview those high school students chosen by their teachers to be eating just one meal a day. I tell them I only have limited amount of donation contributed by my colleagues and myself. You can choose to have things to eat or to have your tuition paid. All of them, a group of around 12 students or so, tell me that they want EDUCATION.”

 

 

I am around them when these take place. That is why for the entire article I am writing this time, I am using PRESENT TENSE, a way that I can remind myself of all these journeys people have taken that are somehow connected with me. Like flowers, or like trees, I see those whom I have met blossom and grow in front of my eyes, and these are not merely about those students interviewed by our people in Kenya: it is also about us, every single one of us.

 

 

What does it mean to people at rich areas of the world where food is very often too much to be kept anymore when there are pupils in the world who have merely one meal to eat, with their socks torn so badly, holes everywhere, who still believe in the power of education?

 

 

When trips can be taken to a deeper level, that we go through metamorphoses, altogether, with lots of meanings set, more fine lines in between the good and evil within us redefined, what do we want exactly to keep holding such journeys, with more who would like to join suit, and with more who would like to do something good?

 

 

You know how I am:

I never wish to be too arrogant; fortunately, you and your peers have reassured me repeatedly that you do not find me to be a proud person. Out of my humble existence, when I realize the stories of many are also mine, when I understand that my stories, in each part of my life, can also be the others’ stories, I feel so free and elegant. Maybe it is one of the reasons a quite mature and good-looking six grader, during one of her breaks, runs towards me and tells me,

“Teacher Hope, you are so pretty!”

 

 

I look at myself, a person wears no make-up, with freckles dotting my face, and the whole body not as juvenile as that of hers. I wonder why she would say so.

 

 

After a while, I realize that in me, she sees thousands of people whom I have met; through me, those countless individuals’ stories are interwoven to be such an amazing picture she’s looking at. H, she is not really looking at me, I figure; she’s looking at everyone through me, even those different species.

 

 

Frankly, I am expecting to know how she will build her life with many stories to be told.

 

 

Absolutely, you are very sensitive as well when you recount the following event to me.

“This time when I want to meet you, at first, I would like to have my husband around meeting you, too. Nevertheless, due to his work, he cannot be with us. In the past, I would be upset. This time, though, I feel totally alright. I tell myself, ‘Next time! Let us just do it next time.’ After that, I remember something. This time during the Lunar New Year, I ask my sister, ‘Do you feel Mom gets mad easily after she carries those burdens on her shoulders?’ My sister also finds so.”  

 

 

At this point, maybe you would feel alright if I tell you that in the past, when it takes you thousands of hours to produce an idea, a thought, something, I also feel that you’ve carried a lot of burdens, yet you are not the only one. To be very direct, when I was a college student at Fu Jen, I also do the same thing, believing that my shoulders are as heavy as ever. Currently, I should have been buried alive by carrying so many people’s incidences everywhere in the world on my own shoulders, it seems; nevertheless, I feel even lighter—I do not have the so-called ‘burned out’ like most of the people wishing to do good to the others have sensed. I still make handicrafts and sing, so much so when this joint friend of ours proposes a journey to somewhere rich with artistic touch, I am silently laughing inside as people like you also express some tiny “YES” without even me asking, for you have mentioned,

“We’d rather travel far away when we are still this young, so we’ve never thought about somewhere so close…”

 

 

You guys never reject the whole idea, though.

 

 

Why?

 

 

I am certain that you have also seen the beauty of people’s minds in connection with one another, that it is healing, and that it generates more good things to be happening. Am I not right?

 

 

That is the main reason when we’re thinking about visiting Malaysia, when our counterpart feels deflated, believing that those people there have rejected us because “we need to apply for approval to be going to the schools,” I am just my usual self, comforting him when he describes these.

 

 

Why?

 

 

I am certain when the minds have but one goal, the goal of making every person, every journey meaningful, the combined forces and energies around will deliver amazing results. Believing in that, just one day or two later, the couple whom we have all respected so much and who are such experienced educators with even links in the local regions have expressed their wish to join this journey, while you have brought more things for us to make possible donations of items there.

 

Why do you have such faiths nowadays in the things we do, so much so in the contrary when we are invited to visit China more than a decade ago based on our voluntary gestures? Is it because your teacher, me, is the one writing the proposal for that contest to win a seat there for that complimentary journey? How does that kind of journey feel to you when pleasure is alongside with giving to the others by hearing so many different stories from all the teams composed by college students from China, Hong Kong and Taiwan? Why are there so few professors or lecturers going with their teams and I seem to be one of those who are the most enthusiastic that I even volunteer to join you for that presentation you as students need to do? Until today, do you think I have lost that flame or are the fires in me stronger?

 

 

And if you feel my fires are stronger, when you visit Australia, do you know what you can do? Well, you can hold on-line meeting for all of us who cannot go, with people whom you have met there, despite of their nation of origin, as that is a nation which is like a melting pot. You mingle with people there with your husband. You investigate their current educational system. You shine in front of those people who receive your warmth and care.

 

 

On behalf of all of us.

 

 

How does that sound? Too much pressure? Well, we’ve got people who are very nice coffee makers hahaha^^

 

 

 

 

讓老師十分感佩的H：

 

曾在一本書中讀到一句話：「他的故事，亦是我的故事。」

 

此書乃一位以英語為母語之作者所著。他在寫作該本書籍時匯整了許多人親自書寫的個人故事，因此，上面講述這句話的那位敘事者，並非我們耳熟能詳之人，然而說出此話之人其談論世事的方式，卻彷彿深深銘刻於我的心版之上，並且，在很多方面來說，確實如此—

我們在人生旅途中經歷的諸多情感與思想，那些喜、怒、哀、樂所交織出的一個又一個的過往歷程，往往也與他人的悲、歡、離、合，並無二致，不是嗎？

 

正因如此，每當我看見妳時，心中總不免衍生更多對這個世間之美好的信念——彷彿我望著其他那些也逐漸不見得是由於年齡的本身而成熟、而是在人生道途之上愈發體貼、且心胸愈益開闊的、與我亦師亦友的人一般，畢竟，雖然中文指出「教學相長」，但常常，我會覺察不出誰才是真正的學生、或者誰是真正的老師，當我雖然以「老師」之名於人間遊走時，卻感到所有的人群其實就是我的老師時，有時候我必須考慮的，是怎樣的人格特質，遞造出我的學生們轉述給我聽、其他的人在聽聞他們還和我這位曾經教過他們的授課者有連絡時，他們所說出口的話：

「蛤?! 妳還跟妳大學老師有連絡?! 怎麼可能?!」

 

而我卻往往感到，我之所以有跟學生們保持連絡的意願，或者他們會給我機會讓我能夠持續與他們保持連絡，我們一定是在這種教學相長的路上發現不同的樂趣所在，以致於與時並進的他們還時時會「教育」我許多原本我所不知道的事情!!!

 

 

有幸細細研讀另一位作家的書籍時，我很開心他所教導的學生，也被我所重視的「應對進退」所薰陶；那本書的作者是位在其國家備受推崇、連政府相關部門與該國總統亦對他極為肯定的教師。在他卓然有成的教育手法之中，從書中不難看出的端倪是，他的教學重點根本不在於數學、科學等學科，而在於引導他那些日後往往在各方面都頗為成功的學生，留意與人互動的方式：

像是與人交談時直視對方的眼睛、

尊敬老弱婦孺、

保持環境整潔、

書寫端正、

情緒控管、

不要認為自己不可一世等等等等。

 

 

當我將這兩件事情—溫和體貼及頗為重視品德發展—並置思索時，我想捫心自問的是：

我能否也在教學的道途之上，竭盡所能使學生明白「同理」、「利他」、以及「良好的人際互動能力」，是何等重要？再怎麼說，當我們不假思索時，我們會忘記這些良質的美德，在在促使著我們自己在行、住、坐、臥上，永保安康。

 

事實上在這些層面上來講，自從老師與妳初初認識以來至今，妳的良善總是逐步顯現，極為明白的，是妳在未來應該會更加在幸福圓滿的康莊大道上前進，而我相信，這是許許多多人夢寐以求的特質。可以說在這諸多能夠讓妳永保安康的事項當中，身為妳的教學者，我個人最感到滿意的部份，是妳「願意不斷敲擊」自我的內心世界，「不斷突破」自己所設限的心防的那種動力和鬥志，使老師深信「十年磨一劍」如果屬實，那麼，確然妳就是運用了我們認識的這十年有餘的時間，使妳個人逐漸成為不斷讓自己及他人，更加美好的個體。

 

 

於是，正因為妳可以已經懂得轉化迎面而來的事件可能發生的張力、乃至於殺傷力，知道可以選擇用正向的態度擁抱他人，所以他人更會以溫和感人的方式回應妳。即使沒有實際的擁抱，在我眼中，許多人其實都以某種隱形的方式，良善而積極地回應著妳對他們的擁抱。每當我看見人們與妳互動時，我發現他們都非常喜歡妳。這無疑為妳帶來許許多多正增強，這種正增強也實實在在感染著妳身旁的每一個與妳非常親近的人。

 

 

我記得當大家返回台灣時，妳還隔著海洋跟留在那裡的我們說：

「真想跟妳們繼續在那裡做事、探索、討論……」

 

 

妳是否曾思考過，為何今日的妳會成為這樣的妳？

 

 

妳曾告訴我，在完成最近那一段以幫助他人為目的的旅程之後，妳在工作上變得更加有效率，不再為細枝末節所困擾，而那些最親近妳的人也發現妳的轉變。這讓我更加為妳感到喜悅，這種喜悅，自然也促使我個人希望成為一個更加優質的教學者，以期能夠更大幅度影響更多和妳一樣，曾經龍困淺灘的性靈。

 

 

這也使我想起我們共同畢業的那所大學——輔仁大學——的教授曾說過的話：

「文學即人生；人性即文學。」

 

 

如今的我則感到，如果像大多數人一樣，我們要把「生命」比喻為「旅程」，而「人性」則也在這樣的生命的旅程中，基於我們進行各式各樣的事務、經歷不甚相同卻又雷同的情感、造訪許許許多雖然不一樣但又根本上是一樣的地方，遇見無以計數的人之後，經過可能的澄清、乃至於昇華。

 

 

我不知道妳是否也如此認為，但在我的心中，人生的旅程(假若以幾十年來談而計算)，總與我們實際參與的每一次(以幾日、幾週、幾月計算的)旅行，習習相關。也正因如此，我才會問及那個妳即將與丈夫前往澳洲的旅程。老師請問妳這個問題的同時，其實也有著一些我自己正在慢慢厘清當中的念頭，這是由於我其實非常想知道：

 

當妳身在澳洲時，是否會把那些妳從過去就不斷參與我們這種國際服務、公益之旅的行程當中所獲得的精髓，做些許、乃至於大量的發揮？

 

 

若妳想發揮，那麼，屬於妳將帶往南半球的「過去公益行程中的精髓」，則又會是些什麼呢？

 

 

H，當妳告訴我妳此行的目的為「休閒」時，我不禁想到一件事：

多年來，每當老師出國旅行，在抵達造訪國之入境資料中的「旅行目的」一欄，我總是書寫著「觀光」二字；誠然，我心裡明白自己其實正在做著其他的事，那是某種讓我能將溫暖與關懷留在當地的足跡，雖然也許根本沒有人知道，可是我自己十分清楚，而這也直接、間接地，讓我對這個世界以及這個世界所處的宇宙，感到無限精采、永存好奇，於是我會期許自己可以持續挑戰自我的無窮可能、不斷學習、持續蛻變----是的，老師必須承認，我仍無時無刻持續蛻變當中呵呵 :)

 

 

還記得我們大家都極為敬重的一位人士，也是妳在卡片裡面書寫到的E曾經說過：

「……起初，我們想幫助他人，但……只是身為學生的我們，並不知道能做些什麼……後來我才發現，我們最能夠做的，其實就是陪伴……」

 

 

老師自己本身非常贊同E的觀點，這位無私奉獻的人曾向我們講述她與夫君如何在求學時期因為跨校服務性質社團而相遇，又如何在我們的寶島上開始了他們從不間斷的「服務學習」之旅，這對他們而言別開生面的地方，是由於E的另一半，就在台灣的教育界推廣了「服務學習」，這種撼動某種層面的事情，必須有高度、也要有魄力才能做得出來，我想，我們一定能夠想見……有鑑於此，如果我們要計畫下一場稍微正式的、在台灣某地舉辦的溫馨分享會，來將「服務學習」的精華引介給這個社會裡面的老老少少，那麼，老師最希望的是你們也可以學著出馬操刀，學著與這些在此一項目上舉足輕重的能人前輩連絡相關細節，並且，學著如果挖寶，如何讓這些前輩清楚明白把他們在服務人群之路上的精髓，也直接、間接傳承給如此好學而有力的你們，如此一來，我們所有的人才能夠在借力使力的情況下，全體以更大幅度的成長方式，同心協力讓更多流離失所者、生活艱困者、好學卻無所條件可如此而學之人，學有所用、老有所終……等等，也不失妳曾提及的：

「如何可以透過具體的服務模式，我們是否可以開啟在台灣偏鄉做些什麼實質事務的可能……」

 

 

坦白講，這些事情如果沒有了解，永遠可能不得其門而入，因為我們每個人—尤其老師—在服務人群、社會、世界的道途之上，都只是菜鳥罷了。

 

 

然而早在聽聞E說的那些話之前，我也曾聽到我們共同的一位、令人也萬分景仰的朋友和前輩L對我說：

「老師，學生最需要的，其實是您的陪伴，所以您其實是去陪著他們長大，他們當然非常開心。」

 

 

當我反覆思索這些對話內容，並回望我們每個人走過的旅程時，我不禁想：

或許在許許多多人的內心深處，都因為渴望被理解而踏步在我們的人生旅途之上；

而或許我們每一次邁出的步伐，都其實是為了認識更好的自己而來，

更為了與人能夠產生更加美好的連結與溝通模式，於是我們不斷飛離台灣、去旅行、去探險。

 

 

更進一步地說，如果我們把每一次或短或長、或國內或國外的旅程，都當作「一段有始有終的人生」，正如朝生暮死之說，一如在某種宗教教誨當中我們可以聽聞到的：

每一個清晨，我們都重新又活了一次；每一個夜晚，我們又都再次死去。

 

 

那麼，當我們把旅行看待成為一種徹底的生與死的交界時，我們旅行的方式，是否也會有所不同呢？

 

 

也許這說得有些沉重，但這和我們看了一個讓人心領神會的動畫片，沒有什麼兩樣，尤其在旅途當中，當我們目睹每個不同的人對於同一件事情，可能有著全然相左的詮釋時，我個人的感受只能用「極為奧妙」來形容，這就好比同樣在學習英語，有些英語老師班上的學生沒有一刻停得下來、全部都在「飛簷走壁」般「暴走」著，不是玩手機、說話、甚至打架、就是睡覺；

有些英語老師班上的學生卻總是戰戰競競，想著等等如何面對下一個小考或者某種新的課堂活動；

還有的英語老師像泡芙老師班級的學生，常常笑到憋不住而必須到講台上跳個30秒鍾的舞，還會聽老師用「公主」、或者「王子」稱呼他們，跟他們說到例如像是：

「公主，請問笑完了嗎」的話，而透過家長投訴，指控泡芙老師「把學生皇室化，有詆誨之意」，而使我有些責怪自己為何當時選讀學位的地方，要放在一個「皇室歷久不衰」的國家，弄到我自己在口語表達上，也有點和別的老師不大相同的地方，弄到學生竟然七葷八素的回了家，家長還要費盡心力到學校裡面反映反映……

 

 

倒是像妳們這些與我相處許久的「成年人群」，可以接受我那些自以為是、認為只是偶爾開個無傷大雅玩笑的心態，甚至在最近的這次服務行程當中，你們似乎並不介意我們並未親眼看見那些極度貧困的人——那原本是我們比較希望能夠做到的事情，但由於種種情況，我們未能達成。身為教學者的我、與你們已經亦師亦友的我，留意到尤其是妳本身，反而容易專注於旅途中美好的部分，將自己最優質的那一面與旅程中最善良的元素相互融合……

例如妳在大雨滂沱的夜晚，用盡巧思讓居處於廚房另一頭的、步行無法順利抵達的團員們，可以順利吃到晚餐；

又例如妳在大家都已經累垮、或者專注於其他事務的時候，默不作聲代表了大家去和當地人溝通及交流，為我們在他們的心目中，建立了良好的形象……等等。

 

 

我很好奇，妳是如何學會不將注意力放在負面物事之上，而能由衷欣賞每一個細節中最美好的地方？

 

 

如果從今以後，不論是在我們的家鄉台灣，或是在世界其他地方，妳都以同樣的心態去旅行，妳會得到的又是什麼？結果會是怎樣？

 

 

妳又將如何透過這種種歷程，幫助身邊的其他人、以及妳自己所愛的人等，像妳自己這一路以來一次又一次的旅程裡面所展現的，讓妳自己更深入地認識妳自己、讓我們也透過妳而看到我們自己？

 

 

最近，我的一位中年級學生在課堂上突然像嚎啕大哭。像很多其他的學生那樣，他已經說過他非常喜歡上泡芙老師的課，即使我們相識的時間並不長，所以這場他的哭泣在不明究理的情況下，不好立即處理。由於這些新學生才剛走入我的生命，我對他們仍不算熟悉；同時我也必須照顧班上其他數十位學生，不論如何都無法完全只關注他一人。是以，專業的判斷之下，我沒有中斷課程，但我已經注意到他在過去的每堂英語課當中，都會畫畫，我猜想他必定相當敏感，因為他的繪畫線條極為精細。當他止不住像水龍頭一樣不斷流出的眼淚時，一位和他同班，雖然中年級、但看來已經像高中生的女學生走到我面前說：

「老師，XXX 在哭。」

 

 

我告訴那位幾乎與我一樣高的中年級女學生說：

「老師有看到哦~~~謝謝妳熱心助人!!!請回到班上的時候和導師報告一下，因為現在不大方便馬上處理。」

 

 

這個冷處理就像當年在肯亞時，我看見妳淚流不止時所做的一樣。

 

至今我仍對於人在哪個時間會做什麼事，感到驚異不已卻又並不那麼剎異—任何出人意表的事，都可以在瞬間發生……以妳而言，竟然選在旁邊有不少野生斑馬、鹿、和種種野生動物的山中，竟然選在行車的過程當中，就這樣開始淚流不止……

 

 

載離我們的車子上有好些當地人，是時，我們正離開那一座又一座的山村，在每個地點，我們都必須向那裡的一切告別——包括群山、村民、學生、學校，甚至野生動物。

 

直到幾個月後，妳才告訴我，是因為被當地人深深感動而掩面哭泣。

 

妳看，人們落淚的原因各不相同，但正因我們都曾因悲傷或喜悅而哭泣，我才會如此認同那句話：

「他的故事，就是我的故事。」

 

 

因為這樣，在這段人生旅程當中，在這段人生旅程裡面的無限次的種種(幾日、幾週、幾年)旅程中，我的內心深處，常常在每一個人身上看見妳、看見很多很多其他的人，了解他們的旅程、他們的性格，當然，也一次一次透過他人的生命之旅、以及他們的趴趴走行程，而再度看見自己，並進而透過這樣的模式來檢視自我。

 

 

因此當有些人對我說：

「Hope妳會與人群實際面對面，而且可以極為快速建立起某種良好的互動模式」時，我個人認為，這都是因為我不由自主進入到別人的生命之旅、甚至直接間接參與別人的種種海內外「旅程」之故—由於所有我曾經接觸過的人，都讓我徹底感到力上加力!!!

 

 

有一次妳問我：

「我該如何更好地與比我年長許多的人溝通？」

我沒有立刻回答，而是請妳先思考。

 

後來見妳尚未回應，我便對妳說：

「H，妳有沒有發現，其實我們也許會認為長者比較不好溝通，但請問如果我們要和小孩子溝通，會是件容易的事嗎？我們真的能理解每一個孩子嗎？與他們每一個人交談都容易嗎？」

 

 

妳搖了搖頭，我們一起笑了出來。

 

 

我不知妳會想到什麼，不過，也許妳也想起那位在肯亞告訴我們：

「我之所以哭，是因為你們來探望我與我的族人」的男孩。

 

 

當時我們還以為，他在談及家裡擁有多少頭牛羊時，一定由於家境清寒而感到難過，然則卻完完全全並非如此。所以，這難道不就是一個我們很不容易解讀他人背後心念的証明嗎？

 

 

也或許妳會憶起在大學當妳身為老師的學生時，妳曾驚訝地對我說：

「老師，您的記憶怎麼那麼好？竟然還記得我們在台上報告的內容！」

 

 

然而，這或許僅僅只是一名教學者的宿命：

我無法忽視某些曾經發生的事情。因此，在我個人的「旅程」發生的同時，心知肚明的是，我也在陪伴他人，邁向他人的旅程——

那些第一次出國的人、

那些不知道正在找尋的是什麼的人、

那些有著傷心往事的人……

 

 

所有的所有，也都或者會是我的故事，也許都也曾經、或者將會發生在其他任何一個人身上。

 

 

有人或許會覺得「妳這樣同時間感同身受許多人的情緒起伏、他們的旅程中的點點滴滴，應該最後會瘋掉……」

 

 

但好消息是，一些世界知名的研究室及他們的研究結果指出，人類其實可以同時進行許多事情，即使是像慈悲與愛心這種在一般人眼中，似乎通常需要極為安靜、達到冥想的特質。這意味著，即使身處現代社會的喧囂之中，我們仍能選擇將心思完全放在為他人所建立、或者必須達成的福祉之上，從而對周圍的紛擾不再感到困擾，但卻平靜安然處於「亂世」之中。

 

 

我沒有妳我都要成為亂世佳人的意念，只是，在老師的目光裡，「簡簡單單」所以不是一種空談之事，雖然我還是認為自己的東西太多、話說得太滿、人做得不好……但我的「簡簡單單」，實則是某種單單純純的信念，不含太多複雜的成份，去蕪存菁後的單純-----

在也許旁人憤怒的情況下不選擇摧毀這樣的人的自尊，因為知道這樣的人也情非得已，

或者，在也許旁人有過的情況下選擇觀看這樣的人的長處，因為了解我們任何人都曾、也會犯錯，

也或者，在很多人眼中看來的某些舉動極為痴傻、偏執、緩慢------

但我相信在一條利他的康莊大道上行走的時候，由於內心的清朗，許多事情就不會一層又一層掩蓋上來，造成自己的那份初心消失……這個說法總是讓老師想到著名的動畫片「霍爾的移動城堡」，裡面的那位男主人翁，不正是讓自己被種種「無關緊要」的事物，團團圍繞，所以常常一下子又弄不清自己要以什麼形象出現、房子該在何處、需要守護的是什麼，而隱身在他把自己弄到像野獸一般、又或像流質那樣的形體裡面嗎?!

 

 

最近妳對我說：

「老師，我發現一件事~~~您總是採取付諸行動的方式來面對很多事情。您幾乎從不等待，總是立刻實踐，尤其是那些幫助他人的計畫。」

 

 

的確如此。

 

 

而當妳指出這點時，也意味著妳看見了一件重要的事：當我們這樣做時，內心那鼓動能力道之強勢，會蓋住任何那些可能讓我們應該恐懼萬分、或者雞飛跳的，使我們在「每一個旅程」裡面可能心有不甘、不願、不喜之事。

 

 

誠然，我們無法理解每一個人，更無法阻止他人對我們說出或做出，對我們而言不好、不利的事情，不過，對我們而言不好或者不利，不見得對別人而言就不好或者不利，我們總是可以考慮到愈多的層面，我們的內在就會更加舒坦，對萬事萬物無所愧疚地生活、工作、等等；從而，只要我們專注於人性中具有建設性的那些面向，將和平與快樂帶給他人，我們所散發出的那種種和諧的波動，自然也會回到我們身上，這也正是H妳愈來愈令許多人感動的地方，因為妳已經大致理解這種「心理特效藥」該如何調配。

 

 

話說回到那位學生哭得一把鼻涕一把眼淚的同一天，還有其他的班級發生其他的事情，例如，兩位學生告訴我他們要回教室拿忘記的課本，結果下課鐘聲一響便直接跑去操場玩到完全「又」再次忘了「有課本」這件事情。

 

 

又或者，妳能想像嗎？當另一班級的幾位學生在舞台上表演完畢、眾人鼓掌時，他們班有位在台下的同學，卻對這些剛剛表演完的人做出「拇指向下」的手勢，還很開心地以為泡芙老師沒有看到。當我問這名做出「拇指向下」手勢的同學：

「你為什麼覺得他們表現不好？」

 

 

他卻回答：「我沒有做什麼啊!!!」——然而好幾位同學和我都看見了他的無禮舉動。

 

 

如果是妳，妳會如何處理這些情況呢？

 

 

每個人走在人生旅途上的方式都各有不同；即使是同一段旅程，也常有人抱持完全相反的看法。那麼，怎麼可能有任何一段旅程能讓所有人都滿心歡喜呢？正如同一個又一個人生，很多人就是「抱憾而終」而辭世，所以老師曾經讀過有人寫到：

「世界上擁有最多人們的夢想的地方，就是墳場。」下筆之人意指，許許多多人空談了無數的理想與抱負，卻從來沒有實踐的心態或者本錢。

請問，這會不會是許許多多人甘願在紛紛擾擾中繼續紛紛擾擾的絕佳理由呢？因為指著別人的鼻子數落一番，遠比之於探究自己最為弱質的特性，來得簡單一些?!

終究，要取悅所有的人，那幾乎是不可能的任務。然而，在這些看似矛盾而混亂的人生要素之中——就像我們在社群媒體或電視上看到的種種爭論——我愈發感到，唯有慈悲與善意，才能彌合那些裂縫。

 

 

這也是為何我曾再三對你們說過：

「老師個人必須選擇盡可能直接、坦率、而單純，即便我或許知道應該如何迎合他人。唯有保持我個人的那種單純、簡單，我才能走在這條旅程之上，同時又使其他人無論走到哪裡、做什麼、遇見誰，都可以有平和的人生旅程。」

 

 

是以，我並未用強勢的言語或者姿態要求人們「必須」做些什麼，而是安然適切地鼓勵眾人常常觀察及省思我們各自走過的旅程。正如人生本身，每一次飛往遠方的旅行都可能只是「休閒」或「觀光」；然而，只要在這種旅程裡面加入一點點與人為善的溫和力道，就像烹飪一道佳餚、譜寫一段旋律、創作一件藝術品，裡面增添了一些不同的色彩及元素後，整體的滋味便會甚至到達截然不同的水平。

 

 

同時，我也相信妳很清楚，老師從未說過我們應該忽視那些經濟上極度困頓的弱勢人口。還記得我們的一位共同的朋友C曾經說過：

「我訪問那些被老師選出來、每天只有一餐可吃的中學生們。我告訴他們，我和同事們集資的捐款有限，你們可以選擇拿來吃飯，或拿來支付學費。結果那十幾位學生全部都選擇用那筆我們所捐贈的善款，去受更多教育。我很訝異於他們的選擇……」

 

 

當時我就在現場一起面對著那些皮膚漆黑的東非人群。這種在旅途上的覺醒，那一類「讓別人有其旅遊、探索的空間」的想法，使我自己本身並不固著於「利他應該有著如何又如何的框架」之上，在利人利己的信念之下，我們一趟又一趟的不同行程，會由於參與者本身背景不同的生命力，而有著截然不同的「當次旅途的歷程曲線」，這種精采萬分的事情，使身為教師的我在書寫這篇文章的英語版本當下，刻意使用了全文「英語現在式」的手法，提醒自己那些與我緊密相連的旅程，如今仍然持續發生、變化、發酵。就像花朵綻放、樹木生長，我看見那些曾經與我相遇、有所相關、甚至突然相迎而來的人在我眼前成長。所以，我從來不僅僅是從非洲得到感動，這時候我真的該說我的感動接收器也太敏銳了吧…… :)

 

 

當世界某些富裕地區的食物多到被丟棄，而另一些地方的學生只有一餐、襪子到處都是破洞卻仍然堅信教育的力量時，這對我們意味著什麼？

 

 

當旅行能深入到靈魂的層次，使我們經歷蛻變，重新界定內心當中那丁點善與惡之間原本就模糊不清的界線時，我們究竟希望如何繼續這樣的旅程？又是否值得讓更多人加入，一同進行善行義舉？

 

 

妳知道老師這個人的特點大概是什麼，像是妳與妳的同儕們也曾告訴過我，妳們並不覺得我過度自滿、自大、驕傲；而當我理解那許許多多的人的故事其實也是我的故事，且我人生當中的故事也可能成為他人的故事時，我除了離像自滿、自大、驕傲等這種人格特質更遠之外，還感到無比的自由與優雅。

 

 

或許正因如此，一位已經像一個小大人的六年級女學生，在下課時特別跑到我面前大聲對我說：

「Hope老師，妳好漂亮！」

 

 

我看著自己——沒有化妝，臉上滿是雀斑，也並不如她一般是個少女——不禁疑惑她為何這麼說。後來我明白了：她在我身上看見了成千上萬我曾遇見的人；透過我，無數人的故事交織成一幅和樂卻又壯麗的圖樣。所以H，就像你們在看老師一樣，這個學生她其實也不是在觀看我本人，而是透過我看見所有所有的人，甚至更多不同的生命，以及更加要緊的，她自己的生命樣貌可以如何成就。

 

 

說實話，我就很期待看到像她這樣的一位學生，未來會如何用她的故事、她的旅程，來建構自己的人生。

 

 

如同那位哭哭啼啼的學生般同樣敏感的妳，曾經這樣對我說：

「這次想見老師時，本來希望我丈夫也能一起來。但因為工作他來不了。以前我會很失落，但這次我覺得沒關係。我告訴自己：下次吧，有什麼關係呢???

之後我又想到一件事——今年過年我問姊姊：

『妳覺得媽媽因為背負很多壓力，所以更容易生氣嗎？』

姊姊說她也這麼覺得。」

 

 

由於妳提了這一段，那麼，也許現在的我可以直接了當地告訴妳、與妳分享：

這時候說「有其母必有其女」，是有點過份的，不過，以前當妳花上無數時間思考某個老師所詢問妳的問題時，我也覺得妳肩上背負著許多重量，感覺妳有壓力，也感覺妳有情緒。

 

 

但妳並不是唯一如此的人。

 

 

當年我在輔仁讀書時，也時常覺得天應該明天就會塌在我頭上，什麼文學等於人生、人性就是文學的事情，我應該是交差了事無法理解。以當時的我可以承載的旅程規格負重太多、移動困難來說，照理講，如今我背負著世界各地那麼多人的故事，應該早已疲憊不堪；然而我卻感到更加和緩卻又輕盈。我沒有那種許多想幫助他人的人常說的「倦怠感」。我仍然做手工藝、唱歌。甚至當我們的前輩提議大家應該前往充滿藝術氣息的都市旅行，我心裡還忍不住竊笑，因為竟然像妳這樣的一輩的人也輕聲說了聲「好呀」，儘管你們曾說過大同小異的話：

「趁年輕我們比較想去遠一點的地方，所以沒想過這麼近的地方……」

或者「那裡可以做什麼服務工作……」

 

 

但妳們從未真正拒絕。

為什麼？

 

 

我相信，妳們也看見了人心彼此連結的美——那種美具有療癒的力量，也會引發更多善意的發生。

 

 

我說得對嗎？

 

 

因此，當我們計畫前往馬來西亞，而當我們的夥伴因為當地友人說道：

「進入學校需要申請批准」而感到沮喪、感到事情不好操辦時，我只是像往常一樣心平氣和安慰此人。

 

 

為什麼？

 

 

因為我相信，只要心中只有一個目標——

讓每一個人、每一段旅程都充滿意義的目標——

那麼周圍的力量與能量自然會帶來令人驚喜的結果。

果然，一兩天之後，那對我們十分敬重、且在馬來西亞當地就熟門熟路、擁有極佳人脈的教育界前輩夫婦就表示願意加入，而妳也同時為我們準備了更多可以捐贈的物資。

 

 

在這樣的情況之下，妳或者也能夠推測，老師已經開始聯想「進入先進都市的目的，在於服務當地人的身心靈之外，也可以讓更多人產生前往，像是種種世界邊陲地帶的旅程的信念，不是嗎？」

 

 

如今本身就處於先進社會的妳，對我們所做的一切如此有信心，這又是為什麼？

 

 

是否因為十多年前我們受邀前往對岸參與公益性質活動的那場比賽，雖是老師再次主筆，而替大家寫出後來贏得免費赴當地參觀和分享公益行動的文案，而卻讓大家在那段結合旅行與付出的旅程裡面，聆聽了來自兩岸三地各大專院校學生團隊的故事，從而使妳感到值回票價？

 

 

這些事情對今天的妳而言，又是什麼感受？

 

 

為什麼當時陪學生前往與會的大學殿堂中的教學者少之又少，而我卻如此熱情，甚至主動陪妳們一起上台報告？

 

 

事到如今，妳覺得我失去了心中的熊熊烈火，還是那份火焰已經更加旺盛，來到了一個既是受到各地人口加持，好像也不大需要在冬天穿外套的地步，使近日又有一位長輩才剛剛問我：

「妳有穿過外套嗎？」

 

 

這裡，我要再次強調人的轉變、人來自於大腦的可塑性，也就是說，老師初始也不是不怕冷的，只是各地的熱情向我排山倒海而來，我就慢慢不大怕冷了，如此罷了。

 

 

那麼，老師說了這麼一大段話，旨在於也要請妳想想，當妳前往澳洲時，是否可以代表我們所有人做些什麼……

 

 

妳覺得如何？
壓力太大嗎？

嗯……別擔心，我們可是有幾位高手，可以讓妳藉由飲用一些咖啡、或者享用一些美食，而降低不少壓力呢，哈哈哈。