真心的擁抱 HUGS FROM TRUE HEARTS
To me, there are always many, many questions raised by myself in
this life, such as
Why do we have to fight?
What’s the meaning of life?
Where is the next stop that I can do more for assistance?
To me, most of the time I need to search for the answers which, I am
certain, are already hidden there somewhere, like playing a video game to find
those treasures. During the occasion welcoming everyone from overseas, the
Balinese were talking, and the Taiwanese, too. At one point, I was reminded of
the fact that there used to be a bunch of college students as well as expatriates
visiting somewhere quite rural in Myanmar. Our journey left those imprints
inside those then participants’ memories that today, they behave and talk about
things differently. They even act differently, like they would rather do
something to make others’ lives better instead of focusing on the miseries in
their lives.
“Teacher Hope was really crazy. In order to train us college
students to be more independent, she did not speak much but force us to mingle with
foreigners who frequently came across our roads towards a village where we
worked for the locals for the construction of a public bathroom and a well. You
would not believe we’re invited to eat and even sometimes to sleep with the
locals in their bamboo-constructed huts which needed to be rebuilt every two-year
or so…” The former participant, as if representing all those who used to go for
such a journey with him, went non-stop.
Without the meal shown in the photo, and without words from all those
who’re present telling us incidences after incidences, no one could have
comprehended that these group of people visiting Bali Island for the purpose of
doing something good for the others were not familiar with one another; in
fact, some of them had not even met before.
The Balinese host and hostess were quite surprised. “So, many of
them are strangers to each other?!”
Yes, and frankly these who are strangers to each other are also
here for a romantic story building this house, as the host, that principal, and
his wife, the hostess, also the Chair mentioned earlier, were getting married
under eloping, crossing different levels of caste in their own culture.
“How did you and Hope meet?”
This former principal was trying to answer; however, I am certain
someone as important as him never noticed some details in our seemingly chance
encountering, for he would not have known that I took a red-eyed flight,
arriving Bali Island around 2 a.m., after my experiences of trying to find ways
to serve those living under 1 USD per person per day in Southeast, Central Asia,
all the way to the southern part of African and reaching its east, an area
close the world acclaimed Mt. Kilimanjaro. Through my somewhat smooth collaboration
in east Africa, particular Kenya, with the locals, my worldview was again
enlarged and I was challenging myself with this core issue:
Can there be financially disadvantaged families in Bali Island, a
place where I frequently flied to as a flight attendant?
By then, we were always brought immediately after clearing the
customs to the fancy hotels as crew members. Due to my still limited capability
serving the needed, what I could do was to interact with those doing businesses
around the luxurious hotels or those working inside such hotels, chatting with
them, learning from them. Years later, equipped with more knowledge regarding
assisting communities worldwide as an individual, or as an individuals followed
by a fraction of people wishing to do good, I felt comfortable enough to return
to Bali Island, with that question I put in front of me:
Are there economically deprived communities inside that apparently
affluent island attracting millions of tourists from all over the world every month?
I never needed to wait for too long before I met this retired
principal who was still working at a high school near the hotel I was staying—we
did not bump into each other on the street. Instead, while riding a bike
borrowed from the hotel I stayed, while feeling a bit overwhelmed at an area
with street signs and everything alphabetically confusing as I am not an
Indonesian user, I stopped at a place, feeling quite close to it. Looking back,
it is truly very odd since it is just a place among all those different spaces
like shops, hotels and so on, in conjunction with one another. What is even
more surprising was there used to be a small door after the big yard; when I approached
it, the door opened. Like all those of us going through different doors, once I
was invited inside based on the fact that an English teacher, in his reply, told
me it was a school I went to, and
“I am a new teacher here. I am uncertain about how to answer your
question regarding the financially less fortunate people. Let me talk to my
principal.”
A few minutes later, I was invited to be in the principal’s office
where, dressed traditionally, this now retired principal receiving all the
guests here just yesterday and his then colleagues were having a meeting. Once more,
I was face to face with some strangers who would wonder from head to toe about
me, and yet again, I needed to “prove” that working with someone like me could be
promising for his own school with pupils mostly from the middle class, as well
as for those who are in areas of desperate need.
Through the years, I have never doubted the power of two things:
Asking questions and Searching for the answers, especially when
these two are under the umbrella of DOING SOMETHING GOOD WITHOUT ASKING FOR
ANYTHING IN RETURN, which is why after sending the guests who’re also friends
back to their hotel last night, after sleeping inside this Indonesian family
adopting me for a few hours, by 4:00 a.m., I got up, went to the first floor,
and began checking with what each and every bag and suitcase was jampacked. When
I took those bag, clothes, with some of them completely new, and shoes outside
from the covers hiding them inside, as if in the pretention on their behalf,
that they’re simply ordinary things other passengers carry to check in, I thought
about those years when we’re in Myanmar, with each and every person going with
me handing the local kid learning conversational English with us via now mutual
mother tongue. After a kid got the egg cooked inside a kitchen built next to
the river by some simply bamboos, submerged by the water staying inside a large
pot making direct contact with the sticks freshly picked from the woods,
resulting the entire outskirt of the pot as black as it could be, the kid and
the giver, often one of a foreign traveler we just met or a college student of
mine at that moment would hug each other.
I often found the kid to embrace us so gently and kindly, perhaps
as a reflection of our cultures which do not pose such physical touch during
our process of growing up. Meanwhile, the faces were aglow with joy which could
not be described. Hence, today, in Indonesia, where eggs may be more prevalent,
I am thinking about talking to the locals who’re so understanding about the
possibility of inviting our guests, these kind friends this time to give each
and every child and/or teenager at a school that is a bit far from the urban
area, with their parents mostly laborers here or outside their hometown, so
that people can share such hugs and we all begin hugging our inner souls more
tenderly and carefully, making that glow in our mind afresh like that of the
morning dew feeding all the creatures with the most vibrant elements to be
found both inside out ourselves.
對我而言，這一生中總是有許許多多由我自己提出的問題，例如：
我們拼命努力其目的為何？
生命的意義是什麼？
在我的公益之舉過程當中，還有什麼是我可以進行的？
對我來說大多數時候我都必須起而行去真真切切尋找答案，即便這些答案或許其實早就已經隱藏在某個角落當中，就像玩電玩遊戲尋找寶藏一樣。
而在這次迎接來自台灣善心人士的場合當中，峇里島人說著話，台灣方面也正是如此。
轉譯的過程當中有那麼一刻我突然想起，曾經有一群大學生及外籍人士等等，與我一同造訪過緬甸偏遠山區的小村莊。我們的旅程無庸置疑地在那些當時的參與者心中留下了某種印記，以至於今天，這些參與者的行為與談吐不同以往，甚至在行動上產生轉變——比起專注於自身生命中的喜怒哀樂、以自己作為生命裡面惟一的主角，他們似乎更有勇氣及魄力去做一些能讓他人生活變得更好的事情。
「Hope
老師真的很瘋狂。為了訓練我們這些當時的大學生更加獨立，她話不多，卻逼著我們去和沿途遇到的、我們經常走在通往村莊的路上的外國人交流，我們還為了要替當地居民建造公共廁所和水井的相關事宜奔波來去。我們在語言不通的情況下，還被村民邀請一起在他們的房舍中吃飯，甚至有時還住進他們用竹子搭建的房子裡——那些房子大約每兩年就得重建一次……」這位曾經的參與者彷彿代表了所有與他一同踏上那段旅程的人一般，滔滔不絕訴說著一些如今看來的陳年往事。
如果沒有上面所附照片中呈現的那頓晚餐，如果沒有在場每一個印尼人、每一個台灣人，一個又一個，不斷分享的一個又一個的故事，其實真的沒有人能夠理解，這群為了做些好事而來到峇里島的人，其實彼此並不熟識；事實上，其中有些人甚至從未見過面。而這個事情發生在印尼人家中的小朋友，和台灣來的小朋友，彼此也成為朋友、坐在地板上玩起遊戲的過程當中。
在我們交流的過程當中，峇里島的男主人與女主人顯得十分驚訝：
「所以，Hope妳是說，這群到我們家來作客的人他們之中，很多人彼此都是陌生人，在來之前互不相識？！」
是的。
到底怎麼會這樣呢？！想想一路而來與我有關的事情，似乎就變成如此這般「世界大同」一樣，各處的人與各處的人交流，彼此之間還是全然陌生者……
而且坦白說，這些彼此陌生的人士之所以齊聚於此，也在某種浪漫故事的感召之下而生成吧？！因為，建造當時我們在晚餐進行中的房子的男主人、即那位退休校長，以及他的妻子、女主人（也是先前提到過的大學護理系系主任），他們是在私奔的情況之下結了婚，肇因於當時他們必須跨越各自所處的不同種姓階級。
「那麼，請問印尼校長您和 Hope 是怎麼認識的呢？」
這位印尼前任、目前已然退休的校長試圖回答這樣一個問題；然而，我確信他這樣一位貴人多忘事的重要人物，對於那些枝微末節的事情不會完全留神，故而，或者他從未留意過我們那場看似偶然的相遇中的某些細節，畢竟他無法得知身為一名旅客的我，如何搭乘著一趟紅眼班機在凌晨兩點左右抵達峇里島；而在那之前，我又如何走過一段試圖尋找那些每人每日生活用度不足一美元的人們、以及如何得以讓我有限的體力、時間、智慧得以對到他們的焦而予以具體激發、乃至協助他們的群體過上更好的生活的旅程——
於是我從東南亞、中亞，一直到非洲南部諸國，再往非洲東部諸國前行，直到靠近世界聞名的吉力馬札羅山地區，才透過在東非、特別是肯亞與當地人相對順利的合作關係，使我的世界觀漸次拓展。
在這樣的背景條件下，同時，我也開始挑戰自己某個對我而言的核心問題：
在峇里島這樣一個地方——一個我身為空服員經常飛往的地方——是否也存在經濟弱勢的家庭？
當時，身為機組人員，我們總是在通過海關後立刻被載抵豪華飯店。由於當下的我能夠無償協助他人的能力十分有限，是時我所能夠做的就是與那些在豪華飯店裡裡外外工作著的、做生意的人互動、聊天、向他們學習他們的生活細節與他們的想法和文化。多年後，當我累積了更多關於如何以個人之力、或有這樣一群懷抱善意的人也願意到世界各地的村落進行相關公益行為時，我終於覺得自己的準備更加精良了一些，而帶著那個始終放在內心當中盤旋已久的問題，再次回到峇里島：
在這座每個月吸引來自世界各地數百萬遊客、看似富裕的島嶼裡，是否存在經濟弱勢的人群？
我並沒有等太久，就遇見了這位目前已然退休、當時卻仍在我下榻飯店附近一所中學服務的校長，但我們卻並不是在街上偶然相遇。那天在紅眼班機的航程後，不到六點我就起身，騎著從飯店借來的腳踏車，在一個對我這個不熟悉印尼語的人來說，路標與文字都令人眼花撩亂的區域裡感到有些不知所措，不過，我卻莫名地感覺與某個地方十分親近，於是停好了腳踏車並往前走去。
事後回想起來這件奇妙的事情的時候，我仍然到某種莫名的神奇感湧上心頭，因為那個我感到寧靜而舒服的空間，不過是當地窄小街道兩旁眾多商店、飯店等空間交錯中的其中一處。更令人驚訝的是往裡面走入之後，大院子後方竟然有一扇小門；當我走近時，門就這麼打開了。
就像我們每個人在人生當中必須穿越不同的門窗一般，我被從這扇門走出來的人邀請了進去——原因是，一位英文老師回應我時告訴我，這裡是一所學校，並且說：
「我是這裡的新老師。關於妳詢問的經濟弱勢族群的問題，我不太確定該如何回答，讓我去請示校長。」
幾分鐘後，這位英語老師告訴我，校長請我進校長室坐坐。這位如今已退休、但在當時身著傳統服飾接待所有賓客的校長，正和當年的同事們開會。我再次面對著一群陌生人，他們從頭到腳打量著我；而我也再一次需要「證明」，與像我這樣的人合作，無論對於這所以中產階級學生為主的學校，還是對那些急需協助的地區，對當地人來講都是充滿願景的。
這也是如此多年以來，我從未懷疑過兩件事的力量：
第一是「提問」，第二是「尋找出那個問題的答案」——尤其當這兩者都置於「不求任何回報地去做善事」的前提之下時，我發現所找出的答案常常溫馨無比。
正因如此，在昨晚將那些既是賓客、也是朋友及善心人士的人們送回飯店後，在這個接納我為家人的印尼家庭中短暫入睡幾個小時後，我於凌晨四點起床，走到一樓，開始檢視每一個被塞得滿滿的袋子與行李箱，畢竟我們如果必須捐出，我就必須知道大家準備的內容物是什麼，以致於進而思考後續該怎麼運行這件事情。
當我把那些（其中有些甚至是全新的）手提袋子、背包、衣物以及鞋子等等從那些遮掩著它們的箱子與袋子中取出時，把它們那些外層彷彿假裝自己只是其他旅客用來托運的普通行李的外層取下之後，看著所有數之不盡的物品，我想起了那些在緬甸的歲月——
每一個與我同行的人，都曾把一顆顆煮好的雞蛋交到那些與我們一起學習生活英語的當地孩子手中；那時，我們卻完完全全只能比手畫腳溝通，連翻譯都幾乎找不到，而我們也沒有共通的語言，只是村民中沒有人可以跟任何一位外來背包客說話，而激起了我必須讓村民及孩子們學習好至少的簡易英語會話的心念。
當孩子拿到一顆蛋，那顆蛋是在河邊、用簡單竹子搭建的廚房裡煮熟的；大鍋裡盛著水，底下直接燒著剛從森林撿來的柴火，鍋子的外圍被燻得漆黑。孩子與給予者——往往是我們剛認識的外國旅人，或是當時我的大學生——常常會在孩子們拿到雞蛋後，緊緊擁抱彼此。
我經常感受到孩子們擁抱我們時的溫柔與善意；也許，那正反映了我們成長文化中並不常出現肢體接觸的背景。而那一張張臉龐，所散發出的喜悅光芒，是難以言喻的。
因此，今天，在印尼——一個雞蛋或許更容易取得的地方——我正在思考與那些非常理解、也願意邀請我們賓客的當地人對話。這一次，讓這些來自台灣的善良的朋友們，為一些稍微遠離城市、學生家長多半是勞工、在本地或外地工作的學校裡的每一位孩子與青少年付出一些心力，讓他們從我們台灣人的手中接收到某個禮物，不管那是一個可以讓他們的父親穿著的長衫、或者讓他們的母親穿著的裙子。如此一來，人們便能再次分享那樣的擁抱；而我們也能更溫柔、更小心地擁抱自己內在的靈魂，讓心中的那道光重新被點亮——如同清晨的露水，滋養萬物，帶來存在於我們內外最鮮活、最純粹的能量。
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