多做多錯、少做少錯、不做不錯?! Doing More Attracts More Mistakes?

 

「Hope，在妳的服務歷程裡面，為什麼在非洲山區，和包括台灣在內的世上其他偏遠地區服務，故事卻不見得雷同?」與我討論服務的內涵及真諦的，不同年齡層的海內外志同道合的人士們詢問著我。

“Hope, why would the stories of your experiences serving the ones in the mountains in Africa or other regions of the world, Taiwan included, completely different from each other?” Some adults of different age groups asked such a question when we are conversing ideas regarding serving the needed. As people of different personality, ethnic group and all mixed or diversified backgrounds, we exchange ideas of completely different dimensions.

 

 

I noted that “When things are wrong inside, everything outside is wrong.”

 

 

In return, this triggered a lengthy discussion.

 

 

我表示「當人們內心有狀況時，看每件事、看每個人都有問題。」

 

 

這樣的意見，激起了大家熱議。

 

 

“Does this mean when there are people served by the others doing something out of our expectations, it can very much be the matter from within them, instead of us?” One remarked.

「這表示如果有人做出有違一般常理的舉動時，這極有可能反映的是他們在內裡的混亂，而不是我們本身的施作方法，有所值得爭議?」一位友人隨後說到。

 

 

Another one said “Exactly. I often find it to be true when I step into somewhere helping the others. More turbulences occur when people there are in conflicts within themselves or the outside.”

另一位則說：「我全然同意，因為在我的服務實作現場，就是這種情況，許多糾紛、爭執等人和方面的問題，往往來自於這些人本身的情狀、或者他們與鄰近週遭人士的混亂局面。」

 

 

“The issue is, for me, therefore, how to say calm and steadfast with the existing values instead of being affected like the weeds standing on top of the mountains blown this way and that due to the harsh wind, based on a metaphor from somewhere I read before.” I added.

「因此，對我而言，整體狀態應該是如何自我維持恆定，保有那份恆定力量就不會如若山頭草一般，風往哪個方向吹過來吹過去，草就也只能隨風起舞。」我如此表示。

 

 

這場冗長的討論結束之後，大家均若有所思，因為真正在服務的路上行走時，會了解所有的角度和共識，都有可能在如上所述的內在、外在狀態混亂之時，完全崩解。

These people were still thinking deeply after we had completed our discussion, for to serve the others is a lengthy journey requiring many collaborations. Without devotions and dedications, things collapse easily.

 

 

“Hope, there are no textbooks about such things. There is no one teaching us about this. How is it possible for us to stay as calm as possible? I mean, there must be so many episodes in your serving the others that you have never told us, those very tough moments?” Another question from these people followed.

「可是Hope，教科書上不會教導這些事情，更不會有老師教育學生們相關的事宜，我們如何在勢必遇到過許許多多服務之行困頓不堪的路上，保持本身的穩定，尤其當負面狀況超出我們的預期時?以妳來說的話，是怎麼維持這種處變不驚的態勢的呢?」這些人隨後詢問了我他們心中，這樣的疑慮。

 

 

I think of the challenges I have faced. Each and very of them could have been something stopping me from doing more. However, I never stopped. It was like all the negative forces go into the void where I find much pleasure serving the other species or people, no matter what.

我思索著不斷以來我所遇過的層出不窮的挑戰，每個挑戰都可能讓人感到「多做多錯，不如不做。」

不過，我從來沒有停止過，相反的，我卻似乎一如進入了無底洞般，時時刻刻都使我在服務的境界中迴旋、轉身、相迎，怎樣都是優雅地度過我的生活和工作，以及，服務人群及物種的事宜。

 

 

我給了他們一些我的想法，但我不由自主想到目前我所遇見的一位老師，在看到我的某個藝術作品之後，問我：「妳是不是有很多時間，可以這樣不斷創作?」

After I have offered my opinions, I cannot help but remember one of the teachers whom I have met lately due to my degree program asking me “You must have had a lot of time to be able to create things like this…”

 

 

我淡淡帶過自己行程不是那麼舒緩的事實：「倒不是，我只是覺得很有趣，所以不斷實驗。」

I just talked in a very polite way, stating that “Not really. I create these works because I feel experiments are fascinating…”

 

 

老師接著說：「那妳就照妳自己書寫的追尋，這兩個字，去了解人們在追尋些什麼，讓妳的學生們寫一下他們十年之後的自己，是什麼樣子。只是，配合妳這種大自然的質料的創作手感，妳可以讓他們用牛皮紙的色澤的紙張來創作。」

This teacher continued by saying that “Just follow those two Mandarin Chinese characters you wrote signifying to PERSUE to see what the students would like themselves to be like ten years from now. To match with your work related to the Mother Nature, you can ask students to create their works by using paper that is more brown, instead of white.”

 

 

我謝過老師之後，週一清晨，當人們遠離週末而期待下一個週末時，我期待著另一個工作日的挑戰，也一樣享受在日光尚未出現的無人馬路上行進的美好，並且，在全校兒童朝會上台進行國際教育的介紹。站在全校師生面前，是件有意義的事，我非常感謝這樣的機會，能讓我如同今日一般，談談在非洲的救護車。

談完之後馬上有相熟的同事與我進行反饋，這種我稱之日行一善的反饋，並且，曾經教過的學生一個個在下課時間，下樓到我所位居的教室與我噓寒問暖，好不熱鬧。

I thanked the teacher for these inspirations. On Monday, when people mostly suffered from Monday Blue, I expected the obstacles which might appear on any day that I needed to serve and to work. At the same time, I enjoyed the city in its quiet form as the daylight had not touched ground here. Later, I was giving a short lecture towards all the student body inside this current elementary school I work at. Talking to almost the entire school with all the classes is something I am very grateful for; I honestly appreciate such chances given. After the speech, colleagues whom I am familiar with have given me some positive feedback. The students whom I had taught beforehand went downstairs to the same classroom where we met to pay me a visit. I truly had another busy day once more.

 

凡走過都是美好，是我的一種信條。My faith in life is that every footstep taken is a memorably amazing one. 

對世人傾心，對生命鍾情，於是無所索求，更無所遺憾。

I've devoted my life to this world. There is nothing I truly need nor regret. 

也許有人對我們的服務之路體貼，那也許是由於他們曾經失去、或者不曾擁有，所以如此體貼，一如在非洲山區，正式教師對我只是不經意間出言不遜，遭到整支部落的抨擊，我的求情也沒有用，仍被多位山區位高權重的官派校長及當地耆老掃地出門，被調到離家十萬八千里的他校。

Perhaps there would be people who are more understanding about our service work; perhaps it is out of the reason that they've lost something, or they have never owned such warmth or care. One case took place when I was in the mountains in east Africa, where one formal teacher was considered too rude to me. He as banished from his tribe: all the principals in the region and the officers working at the central government transferred him to a place thousands of miles away. 

但這樣的做法對我個人而言一點都沒有吸引力。我毋須這種尊貴也一樣行之必做之事，並且我深深相信，任何一種磨難都是加深服務的信念、可能、及行動力的基石。所以，我想盡辦法將他們再度拉攏，因為我認為他們本身可能存在著些我這樣一個外來人不了解的衝突或者不解……所以為我而如此，其實也不見得是為我而這般……

However, such ways of doing things is not attractive to me. I do not view myself as powerful, like if I were from royalty. Moreover, I am convinced all forms of challenges are rocks strengtening my confidence, possibilities and actions leading to the service of more people. Besides, I speculate that they have had some certain internal disputes which I did not understand, and that would be the reason I have tried to make peace in between these people who are against one another. 

於是平靜，於是喜愛東坡所言「也無風雨也無晴」，不論刮風下雨，不論積雪甚深，我都覺得無妨。

Then, I find myself to be quite serene, whether it's rainy, snowy, stormy... and so on. 

甚至，已經學會恬靜中一笑置之的海闊天空。

Even, I have learned to giggle when I am utterly peaceful. 

如此說來，就算顛簸行之，又何嚐有其不妥之處? 當內裡已經平靜如水、似山，外在的一切變動又稱得上什麼呢……我如此想著……也如此品味著生命的實質意涵。

This way, why would I feel turbulent when things inside out are tranquil for me? When I am already this much at peace with myself, whatever has taken place outside would be things that cannot really trap me, I reckon...

我想，我真的蠻幸運的，不需要品茶、品酒、飲咖啡，就可以在生命過程裡的點滴之間，嚐出這些不同飲料的滋味……

I am rather lucky that I don't really need to drink tea, taste wine or coffee, for all these arousing our taste buds, for me, are already there in my life. What else do I need but to be fascinated and get drunk by the melodies of life itself :)