HEAVEN AND HELL 天堂與地獄

 

故事當中所有的角色，為了尊重他們的個人自由意志，均以不具名、不直接表明地點發生準確位置之方式呈現。

In stories I write, to respect those mentioned who have their free wills, no particular names or places would be mentioned.

 

故事之所以產生，為的，也是那時時與我溝通著許許多多他們的生命故事的人們。

My interactions with people from all walks of life for the sake of their stories have always triggered the births of such stories.

 

 

I  Heaven    壹  天堂

「學生的素質本來就糟透了，坐在教室裡面竟然還有人倒著、趴著?! 這種在表現一流的團體裡面是不可能產生的! 他們在那裡只會碰到根本看不起他們的英語教師，哪裡還會像Hope老師那麼客氣?! 老師上課就上二十六個字母，上完自習，在全台首趨一指的學校裡面教書，這樣的教法，就是看不起那群高中生嘛!」這位同桌而坐的老師慷慨激昂地振振有辭，讓我不知不覺對於他話鋒中所提到的態度謙恭學生、態度不佳學生，一體承受感到同情—同情那些態度謙恭的學生遇不到賞識他們的伯樂，同情那些桀傲不馴的學生不知自己走入黃金屋。

 

The students are not well cultivated just by observing their manners of sitting down, looking at and communicating with Hope who’s instructing their English. In outstanding groups, such things would never have taken place. All they would encounter can be English teachers looking down on them. Not only would they not have any chance meeting a person as generous or knowledgeable as Hope, but also they’d be looked down upon. In prestigious high schools in Taiwan, such students can even encounter English teachers who merely teach the students English alphabets from A to Z. This way of teaching is to denounce the students’ capabilities indeed.” One teacher told all us sitting over there with such emotions I felt sorry for all those students he mentioned, well-groomed or not.

 

 

坦白說，我從來不會去設想進行服務工作的時候，到底會遇到什麼人、什麼事；我只認為該讓我處理的課題，就會來到我的面前；既然來到我的面前，我就會與自己的內心或合作的人眾，想到對應的法門，並且加以實踐。

Frankly, I never really estimate who or what I would encounter when I perform my humanitarian projects through assisting the others mindset or living standards. Very often, I feel that those what I need to handle would naturally show up. When they do show up, I would work with my existing mindset and/or those whom I need to work with to find out those best solutions tackling such issues through performing the related tasks.

 

 

但是我沒有料到，已經不在非洲深山，而是在自己的土地上服務，我所面對的服務對象裡面的主事者們，仍然一個一個都基於服務單位性質的原因，幾乎是清一色的男性。當時已經是為這些在地學生們上完夜間英語免費加強課程的晚上九時許，我在一個台灣的鄉鎮地帶，在一個從來沒有到過的街道上的一個店家，與這些在地人士坐下來後，討論針對這些學生們的未來，我們還可以預備一些什麼。在座沒有一位的專業是英語學習相關，這使得我可以好整以暇細細品嚐這些有點像是宵夜的點心。

Never have I expected that when I am away from east Africa where I work to uplift the locals’ lives as communities, I would also, based on the nature of the issues involved, encounter a group of male educators who have devoted much of their efforts to the wellbeing of their students. Fortunately no one’s expertise is English language acquisition. That became the sole reason I could taste the local delicacies at ease when my voluntary English session was over, by around 9p.m. at a diner where I had never been to.

 

 

「有什麼優勢? 我們這種團體的優勢一定是有英語的學習機會，這在台灣我們所熟知的團體中是創新之舉，而且還是跟Hope老師這種人美心美氣質好的老師學習。」其中一位中生代師長這樣說到。

One of the teachers pointed out, “What kinds of advantages do these students have? One of them is definitely students’ English acquisition, which is extremely novel among the related groups here on the island. Furthermore, students are exposed to the teaching of Hope, a pretty lady with much to offer.”

 

 

另一位老生代師長馬上附和：「我已經和學生們說過，Hope老師學養爆棚，錯過她你們等一輩子，再也等不到這樣的老師，還可以這麼有愛心來付出。」

“I already told the students that it is unlikely for anyone to meet someone like Hope, whom if you have missed, you’d regret while never would have gained another similar opportunity, for she is both talented in what she is doing and has a big heart.” Another more senior educator mentioned right away.

 

 

如果不是已經認識了這些人物多時，我可能會掉入一位前輩常常在過去提醒我的「妳要對那些看到妳之後過度稱讚的人，多加留心」的情節裡面……

I have known these people for quite a while; subsequently, I am used to their ways of communicating with the others. At such moments of being praised, I would not fall into that sphere of words an elderly used to indicate. “Be careful of those who talk about you highly.”

 

 

也是因為這些師長們我已認識些時，了解他們的性情與行為模式的情況之下，我沒有答腔，靜靜聽他們的談話內容。

Certainly it was also due to the fact I have known these people for a while, I listened attentively to their conversations without interrupting them.

 

 

桌上點滿了精緻的點心、菜肴，在座的前輩、平輩、晚輩師長們有人飲用果汁，有人喝著啤酒，我則仍是我的一瓶保溫瓶裝開水。

On the table, quite a few different snacks were arranged. A few of them drank beer, while a few others juice. As for me, I carried my own thermal bottle with warm water inside.

 

 

買單的前輩說：「Hope老師，我看妳平時忙到不可開交，根本沒有時間打理餐點對吧?!請好好享用哦!」

The older teacher who treated us with these cuisines told me that “I understand you must be very occupied from time to time that you never really pay attention to what you are eating at all. Right? Please enjoy the food here.”

 

 

不經意的時刻，總有人流露著不容否認的觀察；每一個付出之行，背後的故事，也總有許多道之不盡的曲曲折折。不過我個人應該感到欣慰的是，他們的討論，和學生的英語學習以及英語力，並無直接關係，因為和他們的專才不同，所以，他們也不會來評價我的英語教學與所設計的相關活動。於是在這樣的一個局面裡面，我比較適合的角色是靜靜聆聽。就像在傍晚時加入他們與另一位行政高層的談話過程中，除了這樣的長官宴請大家之外，我也因這樣的旁聽而學習有加。

At moments, one would feel the others may not have paid attention to things around him/her. What is amazing in each and every human being is that when we care, naturally we plan to do more. To me, every journey taken to care for the others requires some forms of twists and turns. What I feel most comfortable about would be that in accordance to our different professional skills, these people present would not discuss about what my English teaching related matters are. Instead, when they were discussing about matters of importance in their realm, I would be a learner who was allowed to absorb as much knowledge as I could, just like the other one previously ended with another leader from the hierarchy who was preparing dinner for all of us.

 

 

只見得餐桌上的幾位，語重心長交換著意見；言簡意賅，便是年長的一群師長認為現在的困境都不是困境，畢竟，過去他們所過的橋，比我們走過的路還多：

By the past-dinner-time-snack table, everybody exchanged ideas. Simply put, those who are older believe all those difficult situations are not hard at all, as they’ve experienced many drastic situations in their processes of career.

 

 

「沒什麼大不了的! 你們現在碰到的都不成問題，沒有關係!」這些長者們說。

“No big deal! Whatever you have encountered now are not problems at all. It’s alright!” These elderly would mark.

 

 

這些相對於長者們經驗不是那麼老道的師長們，也有他們的看法：

「可是我們遇到這樣的狀況，那該怎麼面對呢?!不是單純說沒事就沒事耶。不然，前輩，您們覺得該怎麼辦?!」

By contrast, those who are much younger than them had had their viewpoints, too. “So, can you please tell us what to do know when situations are like these? For us, it’s not a simple phrase like ‘It will be alright.’ We feel it’s not going to be okay!”

 

 

一位重要的長輩說：「我得離席了，如果再不啟程，坐不到最後一班車。」

One key person noted that “I have to leave, for if I do not do so, I will not catch the last bus and train home.”

 

 

「雖然女性教師宿舍沒您這位男性的位置，但是您可以住在XX老師家裡嘛! 這些老師們有話想跟您說，已經因奔波來去而疲倦不已，還有明後天緊湊行程的您就姑且聽之，開導開導他們?」我如此回應著因為討論而眼皮不再沉重的這位善心前輩。

“Despite of the fact there is no vacancies in female teachers’ dorms, as a male, you are not allowed there either, you can stay with XX’s family this evening since these who are younger show their intentions of expressing their ideas. Why don’t you spend some more time with them regardless of your tiredness and tight schedule?”

 

 

由於夜已深，第二天我個人還必須在一大早離開當地前往工作地點，所以先被載回女性教師宿舍，途中，這位教育工作者語重心長地說：「本來我們也沒有想參加今天晚上的討論，但陰錯陽差大家共聚一堂，竟然還是討論了些什麼……」

As inch by inch, the night was not young anymore, I was driven back to the female teachers’ dorm before they others went away. My driver, another teacher, mentioned “Originally, we did not want to join this ‘party’ tonight. Who knows we can gain something along the dialogue?”

 

 

想起席間這位教學者與我提及的一些意見交換，我鼓勵對方「讓學生有成長的空間，信任他們可以作到別人給他們所期許的付出，說不定會看到不同的價值與意義」一事，言尤在耳。

I remembered some ideas exchanged during the previous hours. Especially, I encouraged this teacher to “Please kindly have the belief in students who can achieve what they are expected by the others, something like giving away their time and sharing with the others their skills. Students may surprise everybody by looking at things with different values and meanings.”

 

 

不同的世代，不同的問題，一樣的用心，於是，受惠的應該就是學生。

All in all, when different generations mingle, when they devote their time and efforts to the students, who can of course benefit from such positive reinforcement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

II Hell   貳  地獄

I have read somewhere that “Feelings of hatred can be the winter in the minds of humanity.”

在一個世界級暢銷書作品中，我曾經讀過這樣的一句話：「仇恨是人心的冬天。」

 

 

Here, we have to ask whether this kind of winter in our spirituality, in our soul, can be delivered only by feelings of hatred.

不過，我們要問的，是這種在心性上的冬天，難道只能被仇恨一種情緒而產生嗎?

 

 

Metaphorically speaking, if there are truly winters in anyone’s mind, how do we plant seeds in students’ heart for the prosperity of warmer, more agreeable climatic situations which they learn to care and share, give and respect?

打個比方，如果在任何人的心中，有似雪隆冬的存在，那麼，我們如何在學習者的內心世界，種下可以讓他們學習關照、分享、付出、與愛護彼此的溫暖種子呢?

 

 

There was a scene which left a mark in my digestion of the meaning of life, education, and everything involved. Two students who are only about 10 years old were fighting in another teacher’s class where the situations became so frozen that almost everyone involved experienced such emotional roller coaster when I happened to be around for a while.

有一件過去所發生的事端，讓我忍不住深深咀嚼生命、教育、和所有物事的內涵。

 

兩位大約十歲的學生們在我不經意經過他們的所處位置時，正在激烈爭吵、互相打鬧。整個同樣空間中的人，也都在這種情緒的雲霄飛車裡面上上下下般載浮載沉。

 

 

Those two students were cursing and hitting each other; meanwhile, the teacher teaching them was furious by their uncontrollable personalities, whining not only to me but accusing those boys of having no manners at all.

兩位學生幾乎沒有節制地互相叫囂與對對方動手，同時，教室裡面的老師為著他們失序的狀況而瘋狂怒斥他們，不但對正巧經過的我數落這些學生如何糟糕，並且也對這兩個男孩子下達最後通牒般，說：

「我要跟你們父母講。」

 

 

Less than 5 months ago, they were under my reign: both of them was peaceful, agreeable, and kind to the others.

距離這樣的景象發生前不到五個月，這兩個學生都在我的教室裡面上課，他們兩人在任何時刻的表現都相當平靜、善解人意、也與人為善。

 

 

What made them different, especially they are still quite little?

是什麼形成這樣年幼的他們，如些劇烈的不同?

 

 

I began to remember words expressed by a few students who are merely one or two years older than them.

“You are not like the other teachers who would be angry easily. Besides scolding us, they yell at us, forcing us to write more homework or do more things. You never get angry, Teacher Hope, it seems. You give us a lot of space to play and think. In addition, you explain why we cannot do certain things when we make mistakes.”

近日一些比這兩個學生再高一個年級的學生們的話，突然映入我的眼簾般那樣清楚：

「老師，妳不像其他的老師，常常生氣、發怒，這些老師們怒氣上升的比例不低，而且他們一旦生氣了，就會讓我們罰站、罰寫，並且持續數落我們的不是。可是老師妳沒有生氣的習慣，會給我們思考和玩遊戲的空間。我們做錯事情的時候，妳會慢慢跟我們解釋我們哪裡可以修正……」

 

 

All of a sudden I have realized that it is not merely how the students are behaving themselves; what is more important is how the educators or parents in front of them behave themselves! When the human minds no longer experience the harvest, the fortunate sides of things, they spread the notions of despairs, disappointments, frustrations, and all the characteristics inside us that make us intimidated more than ever.

突然之間我像是有所理解一般，發現其實不只是學生應該學習如何適切地在群體中，有合理的情緒表現，身為成年人的我們，更具有必須在這種種類型學生的面前，合宜的情緒。當我們本身以絕望、失落、挫敗等我們內心的特質面對這些學習者，面對所有人，我們又期待這些人給予這個世界，怎樣的回應呢?

 

 

Then, why do I see the light in humanity?

於此同時，何以我看到的是人性的光輝呢?

 

 

Moreover why do I have such faiths in the roads I have taken, so much so that even when winters did arrive, I never allowed such seasons to grow inside me, making me a person who cannot plant seeds in others’ minds and body, hearts and soul?

除此之外，為何我會對自己所抉擇的路途，充滿信念，即始冬日降臨我也沒有讓這樣的冰寒地凍長駐於我的內心之中，而阻撓了我希望在他人心中種下良質種子的意圖呢?

 

 

Why do I sincerely believe any of my students can achieve anything they desire, as long as they are hardworking?

為何我始終認為，只要人們有足夠的努力，任何學生們都可以達成任何他們所希望達成的目標呢?

 

 

Why can I find it hard to believe that there can be a bunch of human beings who lead richer lifestyles forsaking their fellow humanities in such drastic weathers that the latter should suffer more?

為何對於那些相對富裕的我們，竟然將那些相對貧窮的人口的福祉置之於不顧，不斷創造更多促成溫室效應的問題，而感到有些難以置信，反而認為人們只會在愈來愈為緊迫的時刻，能夠相互照應?

 

 

When is the time all humanities can stop fighting with one another; instead of causing wars, they would bring stabilities into the cultures of each and every territory?

人們何時可以停止爭戰，反而可以為各個不同文化帶來和平呢?

 

 

Firmly, I believe we can help each other instead of harming each other—it always starts  from stopping the droughts in our mind by pouring onto our sear lands that water of life accompanying us to battle against the winters which silently betray or murder all that live so well.

我堅定地相信我們可以用互助合作的方式來助益彼此，而這種合作絕絕對對必須從抑止人心的饑渴而生，如此一來，我們才有可能將那些使我們無法健康生活、甚至謀害我們的毒素給削弱。

 

 

 

III Angles Between Heave and Hell   叁  天堂和地獄間的無數可能

“Hope, we are glad you have decided to come. We have experienced entire two years without rain, which has made the drought consistent. People have spent all the money they have in order to make their livestock keep on living. Through you, if more people understand such a difficult situations, they would want to do something instead of overlooking us.” While communicating with each other about my itinerary Jan. 2023, one leading figure in my cooperation with the locals in east Africa marked.

「Hope，我們很榮幸明年初您的造訪，這兩年，我們歷經了毫無雨水的重大乾旱期間，人們為了他們的牲畜能否存活，幾乎彈盡糧絕，如果我們能夠讓世人透過像妳這樣的人的關懷之心，了解我們的存在而非忽視我們，那麼，事情也許還有轉機。」一位東非的盟友如此語重心長，在與我的對談中提及此事。

 

They, too, have different generations facing various amount of different challenges which can pose threat to their future development. Without contributing to issues related to the global warming, based on what the scientific world has announced decades ago, these who live near the equators for generations with the wildlife suffer the most when their rain seasons are no longer predictable whereas functional, solid mechanisms helping the people there to capture liquids or waters from the natural surroundings are still unheard of in such pristine lands since not many outsiders pay attention to them, aside from their nomadic lifestyles bringing people much imagination.

與我們相同的，是他們也歷經不同世代的交迭，當中所衍生的問題亦層出不窮，其中最麻煩的關於溫室效應方面的問題，已早在過去科學家的預警當中呈現---緯度靠近赤道的他們，將與他們的原始物種們，一起面臨劇烈的天侯變化下所產生的反應。

於此同時，人們似乎應該適著把這些遊牧民族的神祕面紗打開，從並非旅者的角度，端詳他們的困境。

Personally, I feel there are ways out. When different groups of people face different challenges, this means we need to have that belief which we can find solutions altogether! 

但我還是覺得天無絕人之路，如果各地的人類面臨著種種挑戰，那麼，這意昧著我們必須更加充滿找尋解答的共同信念!!!