Bigger Eyes 大一點的雙眼
This work below is shown in COMPLICATED MANDARIN CHINESE,
SIMPLIFIED MANDARIN CHINESE and ENGLISH.
I’ve not had the leisure to edit anything. For those parts
with errors, kindly bear with me.
本篇作品以繁體中文、簡體中文、以及英語依序呈現。因為並無校對，誤植之處敬請多多見諒。
應邀出席了一個商界大老列席的場合，席間，鄰座之人得知些許我的背景後，其中一名年長華人說：
「我長年修習命理、面相，小妹妳是否聽我一言?」
「願聞其詳，」我這麼回應。
這位像亞洲版聖誕老公公一樣的爺爺般的人物說：「妳找一家有名的整型診所，去割一下雙眼皮，妳的運會更開。」
我想了想之後回應：「您先去割，我再割好嗎?」
對方吃了一口菜，飲了一口酒後淡淡說著：「不過，妳如果真的割了雙眼皮，估計妳的理想抱負大概都實現不了。」
「那是為啥? 不是說會更開運了嗎?」
聖誕老公公說：「妳動完手術之後不需多久時間就會嫁入豪門……」
接下去對方說了些什麼我倒是沒再仔細聽，我只是想著：何以在種種歷程當中我所遇見的事，就是這樣令人莞爾而又銘心刻骨?
了然於心
活在這個世上，人們不斷遇到著像這位留言給我的極具專業背景與人文素養人士的支持，也有著全然相反的人們但覺任意扭曲他人話語本意並無不當，也因如此而造成後續的波瀾。此番我所遇到此狀況之強烈，使我不禁感到人生當中的所有波瀾壯闊其實都有必須給付之代價，而這種代價絲毫無法規避。
問題只是在於人們是否有能力度過和戰勝此種狂風暴雨。
當別人對我們批評或者中傷時，到底該怎麼面對?
我發現自己本身在獨處時，極度寧靜而與自己對話時，思想這些細節與種種，還是會將祝福的心意默默祝禱，遞送給那些讓我感到極度不安的人們，我發現自己會站在他們的角度思考他們的看法，並且，也會思索那些總是給我偌大力量的人們甚至物種，他們/牠們/它們究竟為何如此相反而運作，能夠持續給予我這種種力量和勇氣。
這些安靜的對話可以在凜冽的冬日清晨晨跑時出現，或者在夜闌人靜時從思緒當中流出。
在這所有的挑戰過程當中，我並且同時發現自己現在所帶的學生們，即便有年齡上的差異，卻也開始對自己有所要求後，在種種英語表現上愈益出色，較為成熟的學生們則提出坐在我所授課的教室當中，很像面對著一位人生(心靈)導師一般，或者，當他們的同儕說出雷同的話時，其他學生也都有著較為雷同的角度。這樣的觀察與「為何她都在談別人的稱許」，大相逕庭：如果當絕大多數的學生都抱有相同的看法時，我不大清楚如何才能以更佳的手法，詮釋我的教學成效。
自然，在工作上，在各方面，檢討與改進是永不停息的另一種使命，如此我們才能夠進步，但如我這樣的生命體，習於在各種不同場域挑較為艱難的事務處理，似乎我已不習慣接受較為輕鬆的挑戰，我也不習慣較為安逸的生活般，每每一定要在最不理想的狀態裡，把全局揉合至我所希望看到的平和局面。
是不是永遠作得到? 當然不可能。我們的風平浪靜可能面對的是他人的大風大浪，那麼，如何在風口浪尖上靜水深流，如此充滿著生命的藝術。
是的，我認為生命、生活，是一種藝術，而吾乃於服務的艱困與美好中，悟得更多途中所經歷的故事裡面的精華—每一場相遇都仍然是美好的，即便那樣的美好甚至摻雜著多重苦楚，然而懂得轉化時，就像可以將垃圾變成黃金一般，我們總能夠將別人施予我們的不悅乃至忿恨，轉化成為喜悅與祝福。
惟有如此，我們才能昇華個體的靈性和動能，保持那悠遊於人間的優雅。
歷史的長流
因為和課程相關，授課時我提及以下的說法：
關於「絲路」，老師最為著迷的地方，在古代華夏王朝的宮廷與君主曾經將絲綢工藝當作國土秘密保有著，一旦任何人膽敢洩漏天機，會是掉腦袋甚至株連九族之譜的大罪。
學生反問道：
老師，那妳喜歡絲製品嗎?
這個問題將我帶到了一家航空公司曾經使用 Smooth As Silk 作為他們的宣傳標語，我也記得當自己身為一位空服人員之時，我來到了一個東南亞國家中的市集，這個繁華進步的城市有著熱鬧的夜生活，華燈初上之時，我走進了一個彌漫著種種氣味的市集，其中一個攤位的絲綢製品有著令我目眩神迷的中國古代畫藝的軌跡，小販很高興我不但不像旁人一樣殺價，還一下子買了兩件—一藍一紅—像睡袍般的衣服，這兩件我仍然視為珍寶的衣服如今還跟在我的身邊，而我常常為自己記得這些細索的生活點滴感到興味盎然。
這種種記憶的織錦成就了一個生命的歷程。
到底一個個體可以封存多少記憶? 那些我在非洲所親眼目睹的野生象群，牠們總是記得自己所走過的路。現在的牠們到了哪裡、又要再到哪兒去呢?
我們為自己和他人所創造的記憶，會是怎樣的情狀呢?
當我們與他人談論我們所記憶之事時，我們到底是在炫耀還是分享? 這兩件事情的差異也就一線之隔，不是嗎?
但如果說者無意聽者有心呢?
回到眼下所處的教室場景，我告訴學生們「老師是很喜歡絲製品，不過卻不大確定絲綢工藝的製造過程當中，是否造成昆蟲的大量死亡。」
「什麼昆蟲?」學生問道。
我回應道：「蠶。」
感覺以後會成為科學家的學生說：「蠶長大後成了蛹，脫蛹而出還會生蠶寶寶生生不息，絲綢所使用的是蛹。」
另一位學生說：「所有的生物最後都會死亡，人類也是一樣。」
這番談話真的使無知的我茅塞頓開! 就是這樣的場景使我享受了教學相長的過程，一如「絲綢之路」的誕生、型塑、再造、重生般歷經千百年傳奇，一如人生在世亦將經歷盛衰一般，而站在古往今來的交界處思想著絲路的故事，思想著我個人的故事，我了解那些讓人不舒服、不愉快的人、事、物，都是我此生必須付出的代價。
為什麼嗎?
當一個人時有所獲，當一個人充滿了感恩並且於生命志向的方位清清楚楚，當一個人往往得到許許多多支持及鼓勵的聲音，要不付出代價就這樣憑空享受這些時有所得與時有所獲，就跟天下沒有白吃的午餐一般奇怪呀。
一位西方白種人朋友如此描述著我：「妳有那種在各地都輕而易舉散發出來的活力，讓人們很容易就記住了妳，一旦妳離開之時，這些曾經和妳相處過的人們總是對妳念念不忘。」
我說：「哇!!!這番話似乎完全沒有想過就脫口而出了耶!」
對方說：「本來就不需思考，因為我們不會在對於妳的愛護之上，有所保留。」
简体中文版
应邀出席了一个商界大老列席的场合，席间，邻座之人得知些许我的背景后，其中一名年长华人说：
「我长年修习命理、面相，小妹妳是否听我一言?」
「愿闻其详，」我这么回应。
这位像亚洲版圣诞老公公一样的爷爷般的人物说：「妳找一家有名的整型诊所，去割一下双眼皮，妳的运会更开。」
我想了想之后响应：「您先去割，我再割好吗?」
对方吃了一口菜，饮了一口酒后淡淡说着：「不过，妳如果真的割了双眼皮，估计妳的理想抱负大概都实现不了。」
「那是为啥? 不是说会更开运了吗?」
圣诞老公公说：「妳动完手术之后不需多久时间就会嫁入豪门……」
接下去对方说了些什么我倒是没再仔细听，我只是想着：何以在种种历程当中我所遇见的事，就是这样令人莞尔而又铭心刻骨?
了然于心
活在这个世上，人们不断遇到着像这位留言给我的极具专业背景与人文素养人士的支持，也有着全然相反的人们但觉任意扭曲他人话语本意并无不当，也因如此而造成后续的波澜。此番我所遇到此状况之强烈，使我不禁感到人生当中的所有波澜壮阔其实都有必须给付之代价，而这种代价丝毫无法规避。
问题只是在于人们是否有能力度过和战胜此种狂风暴雨。
当别人对我们批评或者中伤时，到底该怎么面对?
我发现自己本身在独处时，极度宁静而与自己对话时，思想这些细节与种种，还是会将祝福的心意默默祝祷，递送给那些让我感到极度不安的人们，我发现自己会站在他们的角度思考他们的看法，并且，也会思索那些总是给我偌大力量的人们甚至物种，他们/牠们/它们究竟为何如此相反而运作，能够持续给予我这种种力量和勇气。
这些安静的对话可以在凛冽的冬日清晨晨跑时出现，或者在夜阑人静时从思绪当中流出。
在这所有的挑战过程当中，我并且同时发现自己现在所带的学生们，即便有年龄上的差异，却也开始对自己有所要求后，在种种英语表现上愈益出色，较为成熟的学生们则提出坐在我所授课的教室当中，很像面对着一位人生(心灵)导师一般，或者，当他们的同侪说出雷同的话时，其他学生也都有着较为雷同的角度。这样的观察与「为何她都在谈别人的称许」，大相径庭：如果当绝大多数的学生都抱有相同的看法时，我不大清楚如何才能以更佳的手法，诠释我的教学成效。
自然，在工作上，在各方面，检讨与改进是永不停息的另一种使命，如此我们才能够进步，但如我这样的生命体，习于在各种不同场域挑较为艰难的事务处理，似乎我已不习惯接受较为轻松的挑战，我也不习惯较为安逸的生活般，每每一定要在最不理想的状态里，把全局揉合至我所希望看到的平和局面。
是不是永远作得到? 当然不可能。我们的风平浪静可能面对的是他人的大风大浪，那么，如何在风口浪尖上静水深流，如此充满着生命的艺术。
是的，我认为生命、生活，是一种艺术，而吾乃于服务的艰困与美好中，悟得更多途中所经历的故事里面的精华—每一场相遇都仍然是美好的，即便那样的美好甚至掺杂着多重苦楚，然而懂得转化时，就像可以将垃圾变成黄金一般，我们总能够将别人施予我们的不悦乃至忿恨，转化成为喜悦与祝福。
惟有如此，我们才能升华个体的灵性和动能，保持那悠游于人间的优雅。
历史的长流
因为和课程相关，授课时我提及以下的说法：
关于「丝路」，老师最为着迷的地方，在古代华夏王朝的宫廷与君主曾经将丝绸工艺当作国土秘密保有着，一旦任何人胆敢泄漏天机，会是掉脑袋甚至株连九族之谱的大罪。
学生反问道：
老师，那妳喜欢丝制品吗?
这个问题将我带到了一家航空公司曾经使用
Smooth As Silk 作为他们的宣传标语，我也记得当自己身为一位空服人员之时，我来到了一个东南亚国家中的市集，这个繁华进步的城市有着热闹的夜生活，华灯初上之时，我走进了一个弥漫着种种气味的市集，其中一个摊位的丝绸制品有着令我目眩神迷的中国古代画艺的轨迹，小贩很高兴我不但不像旁人一样杀价，还一下子买了两件—一蓝一红—像睡袍般的衣服，这两件我仍然视为珍宝的衣服如今还跟在我的身边，而我常常为自己记得这些细索的生活点滴感到兴味盎然。
这种种记忆的织锦成就了一个生命的历程。
到底一个个体可以封存多少记忆? 那些我在非洲所亲眼目睹的野生象群，牠们总是记得自己所走过的路。现在的牠们到了哪里、又要再到哪儿去呢?
我们为自己和他人所创造的记忆，会是怎样的情状呢?
当我们与他人谈论我们所记忆之事时，我们到底是在炫耀还是分享? 这两件事情的差异也就一线之隔，不是吗? 但如果说者无意听者有心呢?
回到眼下所处的教室场景，我告诉学生们「老师是很喜欢丝制品，不过却不大确定丝绸工艺的制造过程当中，是否造成昆虫的大量死亡。」
「什么昆虫?」学生问道。
我回应道：「蚕。」
感觉以后会成为科学家的学生说：「蚕长大后成了蛹，脱蛹而出还会生蚕宝宝生生不息，丝绸所使用的是蛹。」
另一位学生说：「所有的生物最后都会死亡，人类也是一样。」
这番谈话真的使无知的我茅塞顿开! 就是这样的场景使我享受了教学相长的过程，一如「丝绸之路」的诞生、型塑、再造、重生般历经千百年传奇，一如人生在世亦将经历盛衰一般，而站在古往今来的交界处思想着丝路的故事，思想着我个人的故事，我了解那些让人不舒服、不愉快的人、事、物，都是我此生必须付出的代价。
为什么吗?
当一个人时有所获，当一个人充满了感恩并且于生命志向的方位清清楚楚，当一个人往往得到许许多多支持及鼓励的声音，要不付出代价就这样凭空享受这些时有所得与时有所获，就跟天下没有白吃的午餐一般奇怪呀。
一位西方白种人朋友如此描述着我：「妳有那种在各地都轻而易举散发出来的活力，让人们很容易就记住了妳，一旦妳离开之时，这些曾经和妳相处过的人们总是对妳念念不忘。」
我说：「哇!!!这番话似乎完全没有想过就脱口而出了耶!」
对方说：「本来就不需思考，因为我们不会在对于妳的爱护之上，有所保留。」
I
was invited to join an occasion where many experienced businessmen were
present. After learning about my background, one older Chinese man said to me, “I
have studied fortune telling for a long period of time and I have a suggestion
for you. Would you like to know it?”
“Go
ahead, please.” I replied.
This person who looks like an oriental Santa Claus told me “Go
find a famous clinic specializing in plastic surgery. Ask the surgeon there to make
your eyes double-eye-lid.”
Absorbing his words for a few minutes, I remarked, “Why don’t
you do it first? I’ll follow suit.”
His reply was “I am a man who is different from you.
Besides, I am already with my hidden double-eye-lid.”
“Me, too!” Said I.
He ate a mouthful of food before drinking some wine. Then,
he pointed out “If you really go through that plastic surgery, I estimate that
you will not realize your ambitions.”
Why? I thought you said that after such a plastic surgery, I
will be even more fortunate.
Santa Clause stated that “After the operation, you will soon
marry someone very rich…”
What he had told me later that day was not something I could
concentrate on. I was merely thinking about the fact that during the path of my
lifetime, I usually encounter incidences that are both amusing and unforgettable.
Why do I keep facing things that are so differently
impressive?
REALIZATION
There are quite a few people supporting me like the one leaving
such a message to me. Oppositely, there can be people acting totally the other
way around—they can even sabotage whatever I have presented to the world, to
any individual while weaving their own versions of stories about me. I already
know such people exist, but I do not know they can come with such fierce forces
that make me wonder if it is true that the more supporters a person gains, the
more opposite forces this person would have to tackle. Embracing such
challenges, I also understand I am at war with myself, for such battles make me
question my own beliefs, values and actions. The more violent the forces are,
the sturdier I have to and will become—this is something I am very firm about.
The question lies in whether I have that courage to face that slashing wind
plus rain showers which can diminish all the spirit I possess inside.
During all these moments of challenges, the target groups of
individuals I have served have thrived: they discover what they themselves and
their parents care the most, namely, their scores in English tests, have become
higher. They notice they have stronger motivations to handle English as a
subject. Furthermore, those who are more mature openly point out that they feel
like sitting in front of a mentor when I lecture. Contrary to what a few adults
I have met here mentioned,
“All what Hope demonstrate would be her students praising
her,” contradictory to the fact there are students who do not feel surprised
when their counterparts embrace the learning experiences inside classrooms
guided by me, for they have discovered the same pleasure when I am present.
HISTORY
“About the SILK ROAD, what I enjoy the most would be the
Chinese emperors used to hide the secret of silk making for centuries.” I was
sharing this piece of information with my students who, in return, asked, “Do
you like products made by silk?”
I can clearly recall one of the airlines used to make its
slogan “Smooth As Silk.” Also, I remember in one of the major cities in Southeast
Asian nations I flew to as a flight attendant, I purchased two night gowns that
I still hold dearly now—one is blue and the other red, with traces of artistically
ancient oriental paintings printed on the surfaces of them. Today, I can still
recall that I went to the open market area early evening, where there were
crowds of people marking certain atmosphere and scent of the area; the vendor
perhaps felt fortunate I bought two gowns at once, particularly I did not
bargain like most of the customers would have done. Looking back these
photographical glimpses inside my memory, I am often amused by myself for those
details I can store.
How many memories can a person hold? For those elephants I have
seen in Africa, they can remember any roads they have trekked. Where are they
now and where will they go?
What kinds of memories are we creating for ourselves and for
the others?
When we talk to the others about what we remember, are we
boasting or are we sharing? There is always a fine line between boasting and
sharing, isn’t it?
Bringing myself back to the current classroom I situated, I
replied to the students, “I like products of silk for sure. However, I do not
know if the creations of silk would harm those insects.”
“What insects?” They asked.
“Silkworms,” said I.
As scientists to be, those students explained “They are forming
their cocoons in between their process of a lifetime. Once they leave the
cocoons, they can give birth to new silkworms whereas the cocoons are applied
for the production of silk.”
Someone else pointed out, “All creatures die in the end,
including human beings.”
Well-noted. Such is why I enjoy learning everything with and
from the students who have offered me so much inspirations once I have that
privilege to spend time with them. The entire process makes me fall into that
thought-provoking procedure of the birth of silk road, a folklore like story
told, shaped, retold and reshaped throughout the centuries. Thousands of
stories have taken place alongside the silk road, from the past to the present,
even when we enter the era of “One-Belt-One-Road:” there must be countless
people who had loved, cried, given birth to the others, perished and so on,
like rises and falls of ancient civilizations.
Standing in between the past and the present of my personal
history as well as the history of such compelling facts of Silk Road, I examine
my wounds, scars, and I am delighted that I can go jogging twice daily,
averagely speaking, and though I can feel hurt due to varied reasons, I
completely understand that it is the price to pay because I am cherished by so
many.
A native speaker of English friend described the following
to me as-a-matter-of-factly. “You have such energy in you that wherever you go,
you leave a compelling mark in people’s mind in a good way. Once you leave,
they talk about and miss you. It is what people here do. I am very certain
those whom you have left behind will never forget about you since you are such
a positive force of influence in many people’s lives.”
“You do not even hesitate when you point these out.” My
reply was.
With these, my friend said, “I don’t need to. People who can
understand would understand who you are and we do not hesitate showing our
affections towards you.”
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