高度的文明與深沉的苦悶 Contrasting Civilization and Sorrow
English version is below; it’s created
first. Mandarin Chinese is much assisted by AI and internet resources due to
time constraint. Thanks a million!!!
下列文章中，位於中文後的英語率先創作，自英語譯為繁體中文的部份則大量仰賴了AI及網路資源，感謝再感謝!!!
在馬來西亞，我的隊友因為遭遇了一些問題，比預期晚了才抵達。
「我知道你本來就有事情要忙，所以我就先略過請我朋友先去見你這件事了。」他很有自信地向我解釋他延誤的細節，他迅速的決策讓他最晚在24小時內就抵達了。之後，我被介紹給他的朋友——一位當地人——他已經代表我們與相關單位取得聯繫，以進行一項關於我們服務那些真正有需要之人的調查。
被夜色籠罩之下，這座我曾經以空服員身份來往的城市，如今以不同的節奏呼吸著。這位新朋友帶我們去各個地方，好讓我們更了解這個國家——這是我多年前就希望能做卻始終未能實現的事。直到今天，除了我給隊友的100美元之外，我從未收到任何關於我還需要為這次所經歷的一切美好支付多少費用的通知——舒適的住宿、各式各樣被買來送到我面前讓我食指大動的在地美食、以及這位新朋友那極為好客的家人們，他們又餵了我們更多的食物……在山路與高速公路上長時間駕駛，這位朋友從未打瞌睡，也從未抱怨疲憊。
就在我思考自己為何如此幸運之時，我必須飛往另一座城市，去見另一位為我準備了營養豐富食物的人，足以讓我再撐過完整的24小時。在超過8小時的時間裡，我們的對話從未中斷，除了我因為清晨航班而小睡片刻之外。我直到回到祖國落地後，才想到我應該提醒前一座城市的朋友，我把我們最後住處的那把門鑰匙放在哪裡。幸運的是，這個問題已經被處理了。整段經歷讓我充滿能量，我的精神狀態前所未有地高昂。
你要如何解釋內心的那種和諧感，如同許多虔誠信徒踏上朝聖之路時所唱的歌聲？前方有數百萬英里的道路，但你卻感覺巨大的幸運如同海洋不斷孕育的浪潮般湧向你，將你包覆進那個真理與善的核心，而那個核心點亮了你能帶給他人的所有笑聲，然後又回到你自己身上，以每一秒、每一分鐘為單位循環著。在我的人生中，我看見這種慶祝正映照著我母親在她思緒較為清晰時對我說過的話：
「付出越多，得到越多。」
不要被日常的挫折困住，唯一的前進方式就是持續做對他人有益的事情。重點從來不在於結果、工作的規模，或他人喜歡拿來比較的一切。永遠都是關於——當我們獨自一人時，是否能坦然面對自己的良心；我們是否打從心底知道，我們正在盡最大努力讓他人一天比一天更好。當我們能通過那些我們從不迴避的自我提問——我們是否把事情做對了——當我們知道自己只需要盡力而為，特別是在讓他人生活更輕鬆的事情上，我們就會達到一種狀態：無論走到哪裡、做什麼，都感覺處處都有額外的回饋。這正是我此刻在面對「所需者」時的真實感受。
親愛的 L，
請好好照顧自己。
我從未覺得你這次「應該」去肯亞。只是，我認為既然你已經正式告知大家你需要從利他行動中暫時休息，那就好好休息——但也請讓大家知道，當你想要回來時，你會再次投入那些利他的行動。
如果這不是我們當下的焦點，請持續與他人分享你所做過的事情，因為這能讓你練習你的影響力層次——那是每天、每個地方都存在的。因為我們的思想、我們的念頭，本身就是能量來源，在承載我們的空間中來回震盪，甚至延伸到更遠的地方。
正如我所說，服務他人確實是一件容易讓人精疲力竭的事。在現代社會以及技術較不發達的社會中，「金錢」幾乎是每天都在談論的主題。由於我選擇不隸屬任何正式組織、以義工身份在世界各地從事人道相關的工作，金錢確實可能成為萬惡之源——有人會濫用「善行可以透過他人幫助來完成」這一點；而那些真正急需幫助的人，可能會一再透過我們友善借貸的機制借錢卻不償還，聲稱是為了做生意或上學、為了提升社區；至於那些發展中國家接待我帶去訪客的人，有時也可能變得過於傲慢或貪婪，無法與我或其他義工站在相同的位置上。此外，還會有人當著我的面說出一些話，完全看不到與這些群體或生命互動的重要性，彷彿語言的存在只是為了一吐為快或者暗箭傷人。更糟的是，那些曾經告訴你利他行動很重要的人，後來卻消失了。從任何角度來看，幫助有需要的人從來不是一件輕鬆快樂的事情。
舉例來說，我曾有幸遇見幾位走在服務他者的道路上的人——至少他們在各自組織中的頭銜是如此。但當我看著他們的眼睛時，我並沒有看到太多喜悅，反而從肢體語言中感受到沉重的負擔，這與我們每天遇見的大多數人並無二致。前幾天我在現在居住的同一層樓被像犯人一樣盤問，因為對方不相信我是該處住戶，而這又是一位如果我有任何歹念，明明可以自我防衛到令我受傷的男性時，我意識到文明的「疫情」已蔓延至世界各個角落——我們變得如此多疑，以至於選擇不相信社交圈之外的任何人，如果我們仍願意在科技產品占據我們大部份時間的情況下，與人交流的話。我們或許追求了足夠的成功，但同時也失去了內在的自由，使我們即使擁有財富，也無法真正快樂，而成為我在馬來西亞時當地朋友所講到的「窮到只賸下錢」的人——意指人可以不斷累積財富，但精神生活掛零。
在這樣的時刻（當人們感到耗竭時），想想像弗洛倫斯・南丁格爾這樣的人——
她幾乎一手開創了護理教育體系，從英國開始，影響到所有受大英帝國殖民影響的國家，包括美國、加拿大、澳洲、紐西蘭等英語為母語的地方。如今這些國家的護理人員收入頗高，就像你曾提到那位在北美工作的同學。但在南丁格爾的時代，護士被視為妓女或僕人。她一生大多時間臥病在床，生活在一個女性不被允許表達意見、只被期待結婚生子的年代。事實上，不只是她，許多努力讓他人生活更好的人，都承受著巨大的身心負擔。
「我的情緒支離破碎，有悲傷、憤怒、懷疑、憐憫等等……到處都是。我曾以為我的人生與身邊的一切都沒有問題……」這是另一位朋友對我所傾訴的內容。在我們交談時，我想起無數關於心碎、失落與悲劇的故事。面對這些負面情境，我唯一能說的，不只是對這位朋友，而是對我遇見的所有人，就是——「利他主義」。它是所有苦難的解藥，既有科學證據，也有世代累積的經驗支持。
我逐漸發現，有些人很容易因小事而憤怒；也有些人極度慷慨，讓人難以判斷是真心還是偽裝。最終，我看到兩者之間一個明顯差異：前者往往缺乏利他行動，而後者則常常願意無償付出時間、精力與專業。
在極為現代化的社會中，科技的進步已經超出我們的想像。
顯然，這些年來你已經盡了最大的努力，而這本身就已經非常了不起，因此我不太可能在心中「放棄你」；所以你說謝謝我還惦記著你，其實讓我有些覺得有趣。說實話，我有時會注意到，當事情只是與他們相關的「小事」時，人們竟會對我與他們之間的「友善連結」感到驚訝。或許我有點古怪，我自己也對自己的行為感到困惑——
就好像我不時把自己變成了每一個人……但一個人怎麼可能同時容納這麼多人呢？我真的覺得自己是不是快要瘋了，哈哈哈～～我是不是應該擔心自己的理智是否仍然正常，你覺得呢？
提醒自己要寫信給你時，我只是覺得很可惜，你等了那麼久才有機會出國進行這樣一段服務他人的旅程，而你在那裡已經盡了全力，卻感受到的是挫敗，而不是勝利或自豪。對我來說，很難想像一個人不給自己一些正面反饋，尤其是像你這樣擁有溫柔與關懷本質的人，理應被好好肯定。
然而，你的行動與決策又讓我重新回到我對自己在行動上的反思——
為什麼在經歷了這麼多麻煩與頭痛（包括來自不同膚色人們的誤解，以及跨越海洋、與各種背景的人進行的無數討論）之後，我仍然擁有繼續前進所需的特質？為什麼我依然像螢火蟲般，在各個地方、每天發光飛舞？這真的很奇妙。
我問這些問題，並不是在暗示我有什麼偉大之處，因為我相信每個人都具有偉大；我也不需要任何人（尤其是你）來讚美我，因為我已經被讚美包圍到某天可能會被淹沒。說實話，我只是想知道，在這段幫助他人的旅程中，我是否真的已經忘記了過去那些困擾我的一切……畢竟，那些事情每每思及都可能馬上令人頭皮發麻。
或者，是否存在某種「門檻」是我們都需要跨越的？例如，在無償服務他人1000小時之後，我們就變得不可動搖，將所有挑戰視為無形？如果是這樣，我們是否應該鼓勵所有人——不論其社經背景——都去這樣做，讓大家少一點對生活、工作或教育的抱怨，而多一點彼此鼓勵？畢竟，我並不是從第一天就成為現在的自己，不是嗎？那麼，一定存在某種學習曲線吧？
如果真的有這樣的學習曲線，我就會想到當時你邀請我去你孩子的學校，讓我對那些正值青春期、即將邁向大學的學生演講。就像我在東非所服務過的人們一樣，他們也會長大成人，建立家庭或選擇不建立家庭。我曾鼓勵過那些在東非的他們：
「既然你們曾接受過我與捐助者的幫助，是否也能去幫助那些我不認識、但在你們社區中需要幫助的人？」
而他們真的這麼做了。一旦他們開始傳遞這份溫暖與關懷，他們的幸福感似乎也隨之不斷提升。這讓我開始思考，我還需要多久才能完成我的「實驗階段」，並建立某種制度機制，讓利他行為的實踐被更加重視，因為它對人產生的影響力實在太強大了。當人們做好事時，他們會改變，而每個人都會改變——
這其實顯而易見。或許正因為太顯而易見，人們反而忽略了這種可能的正向改變？
此外，想想那些與你有關聯的人——
某種程度上，他們也像你一樣，都是我的學生，無論年紀大小。
你是否曾想過，當情緒把你拉離利他實踐，甚至（希望只是暫時地）讓你的情緒灰色時，你是否可以與他們談談？
如果他們理解你的觀點，他們會對你的決定、你的想法、你看待事情的方式說些什麼？
他們會給你啟發，還是嘲笑你？
也許關鍵在於：你是否足夠信任他們，把你的心交到他們面前；同時，也在於你是否足夠信任自己，將真實的自己呈現給他人。
你不這麼認為嗎？
我曾任教的小學裡的學生，在我對全校演講一個經典社會企業案例之後問我：
「老師，為什麼你可以這麼有台風、這樣有氣質？上台不會令你感到害怕嗎？」
另一方面，我的主管們則對我沒有要求任何輔助設備感到困惑，因為我告訴他們：
「我只需要看著學生、對他們說話就夠了，不需要其他東西。」
即便如此，其中一位還是在前一晚幫我做了一張海報。在我演講時，我沒有使用它，而是感謝她的好意，並提醒她我已經說過不需要任何輔助，他們其實可以把海報用在其他場合。
她有些挫折地說：「我浪費了我的時間。」
其實我也可以這麼想，認為所有的事情就是浪費時間。
就像有位學生對我說：「你講的全部都是廁所的事情。」
這名學生並沒有錯。
不過，廁所只是我演講中幾分鐘的一小部分，而且他忽略了我分享的是一個故事：
一個出身於清理他人便桶為生的家庭裡面的人，最後透過社會企業，成功幫助了數百萬與他有相同成長背景的人——
那確實也與「廁所」有關。所以從某種角度來說，這個學生一點都沒有錯。
問題在於他說「你講的全部都是廁所的事情」時，他話時的語氣，很容易讓任何成年人感到不悅。
而我保持冷靜，沒有回應，也沒有真正對他的話產生反應，只是繼續完成課堂內容。
課程結束後，我反而對這位很明顯地來自於富裕家庭、聰明伶俐的學生感到惋惜：他無法理解，在世界的其他地方，有些人會從這個故事中獲得啟發，產生建設性的想法——思考那位社會企業人物如何幫助極端貧困者，以及他們自己也能如何朝更好的方向，改變自己。
從這一個小小的故事出發，我們不禁要思考人類心靈中的黑暗——它是從何時形成，又會停留多久？而最關鍵的問題是：
這些暗黑世界，會有消失的一天嗎？
在回答這個問題之前，如果當初我對於在全校面前演講這件事感到畏懼，我其實可以動用各種資源來讓自己感覺「表現更好」——例如讓其他學生在我演講時幫我舉著海報，或讓教職員察覺我的焦慮、進而在我無法應對時提供支援。此外，當那位學生表達不滿時，我也完全可以因此感到挫折，甚至影響我之後的歌唱或舞蹈日常。
但我沒有這麼做。相反地，我對這個靈魂充滿同理心——甚至在我寫下這些文字的此刻仍然如此——因為以他待人接物的態勢來看，他未來在人際互動上或者將會面臨困難，即使結合AI與所有科技工具，也未必能改善。
那麼，我們要如何幫助這樣的學生？
此刻的我，其實也無計可施，所以我選擇保持沉默，繼續思考。
而現在，在我們又出過一次隊而返台之後，你也選擇了沉默。
這種沉默我仍然懷著好奇想問你：
在這個階段，你是否有可能去想想你為他人所做過的所有好事，而不是一直專注於那些讓你覺得自己不夠好的事情？
如果你能夠成為自己的啦啦隊，一次、兩次、甚至三次，那麼是否有一天，當你再次面對像那位學生、或像我那位同事那樣的人時，你可以用同樣的優雅對待他們，同時又不讓他們干擾你的內在平靜，讓你依然保有力量去做你該做的事情？
同樣地，我們是否曾想過，當弗洛倫斯・南丁格爾在夜晚獨自一人
——選擇單身的她，在只有燭光照亮夜晚的時代——
當她內心的那些黑暗、那些來自深淵的「惡魔」浮現時，她是如何面對的？
我傾向相信，正因為她如此珍視每一個生命，她才不得不抹去內心的黑暗，否則她將無法行動，甚至會被龐大的任務壓垮。她所使用的、那抹去內心深處黑暗的「橡皮擦」，就是她的行動——
她越專注於自己能做的事情，就越能累積力量，幫助自己面對挫折。
因此，問題往往變成：
「我們該做些什麼，才能持續在服務他者的路上前進？」
在過去幾年裡，我開始造訪那些我曾經以空服員身份頻繁前往的城市。無論是開發中國家還是已開發國家，每一座城市都可能與過去截然不同，或又驚人地相似。這些城市以及它們的機場，都在訴說各自國家的故事。到了2026年，當我因這些服務工作有機會再次造訪其中兩座城市時——其中一座與過去幾乎沒有太大差異，而另一座則變得更加先進，其機場如今名列全球前茅，吸引來自世界各地的旅客拍照留念。
然而，就在我沉浸於那座極為華麗的機場氛圍時，我同時也接收到一則極具衝擊性的消息——
來自一位看似生活充滿平靜與喜悅的朋友（也是我曾經的學生），
分享了一段充滿動盪的故事，涉及極度負面的情緒與事件，包括不信任、謊言、權力、財富與愛情之間的糾葛。
因此，在這個階段，基於這些觀察，以及我們長時間的討論（包括我們如何在善心人士提出的某些構想中找到自己的定位），我大致可以分析出一些在各地會議中可能出現的結果。這些討論都圍繞著一項前所未有的提議——由我們所認識的一位極其善良的人士顧太太提出，她希望組織一趟前往蘇州的海外行程，其動機是：
「創造更多的財富，讓那些生活在極端貧困中的人——也就是我們一直以來所服務的對象——能夠持續獲得幫助。」
顧太太相信，就像她與她優秀的朋友周教授一樣，我也曾在與他們相似的年代出國深造。然而，周教授即便與我年紀相仿，早在國中時期就已經身在海外，而我真正踏入全英語世界，則晚了十多年才開始。
敬愛的 Sisi姊 與周教授：
非常感謝您們的熱情與愛心💗
您們對於讓世界變得更美好的熱忱與投入，真是讓我們深深感動。
關於您們對我們這個小小的團體在全球推動一些服務工作而提出的兩項主要議題，經過長時間的討論後，感謝您二位的耐心等候之外，我們已達成一些共識並希望向您們報告如下：
首先，感謝 Sisi 姐的邀請，目前我們團隊當中約有三至
五人有意於今年十月前往蘇州探索與了解，評估是否能將該城市作為我們其中一個「據點」同時進行「旅遊」與「講座」活動。
就「旅遊」活動而言，在完成對蘇州這個都市的評估後，我們將再討論並決定未來該城市是否符合我們進行服務工作相關事宜所希望達成的需求。
至於「講座」，我們希望延續目前的溫馨分享模式——
計劃持續邀請具備豐富志願、義務、無償利他服務經驗的人士，以純粹義務的心態，向大眾分享其在其特定專業領域中的實務知識。
由於這些分享完全出於自願，在我們本身對於經費屬於精簡型的作業方式之下，除了毋需擔心講師方面束脩經費來源，同時也能向所有(包括講者、聆聽者、工作人員等等)在場之人傳遞正面的力量。此外，當聽眾有捐款意願時，這些資金的運用可在本團體之外，支援真正有需要的其他義務團體，此節可由我們遴選的評審團進行審核，並且決定大眾捐款的流向可以如何分配。
若此模式能順利運作，我們相信未來將能創造許多正面的可能性；
無論我們身處何地，都能直接或間接幫助更多人。這也是為何在目前的局面來說，我們並不傾向贊同Hope老師選擇至蘇州long stay，因為我們在目前各地的行程當中有需要她持續施力的部份，而她的long stay如果選擇在蘇州，將造成我們其他地域中正在進行的事務或呈現停擺狀態、或者可能群龍無首，在目前人力物力不見得可以操控自如的情況之下，或許她能夠選擇將焦點先行放在如馬來西亞之上，那對在當下對於我們而言或者是更有前瞻性的決策。
其次，我們由衷感謝周教授撥冗與我們的老師 Hope 會面，在完整聆聽及了解當天有周教授與 Sisi姊 一同參與的討論之後，我們也審慎地就整體情況進行評估。目前我們的結論是舉辦古典音樂會，或任何不同於上述以協助他人為核心之以義務為核心形式的活動，對我們而言在現階沒恐怕已經超出我們的能力所及——就規模與資源而言，我們並非能夠支持如周教授這般優秀人才的基金會或者學術單位，而我們卻對周教授的才華皆深感敬佩，是以，我們相信，除了周教授或者比較適合接觸大型獎助藝術家的基金會的方式之外，周教授或者也將透過 Sisi 姐所提出的建議，與蘇州的學術界和音樂界建立連結——
這樣的方式或者從我們這個微小的團體對於古典樂、古典樂音樂會這樣的領域完全門外漢的角度，反而更加可以因為Sisi姊的倡議、建言等，而有助於周教授在其成就非凡的職涯道路上持續向上提升。
未來，或許在周教授追求卓越的過程中，當我們於世界各地進行的溫馨分享活動更加有所定著及可能時，也能有合作的機會與空間。
如此一來，我們除了使彼此之間的連結更加順暢之外，若有朝一日，周教授或許也有可能像其他眾人一樣，有參與前述我們一向以來所比較專注舉辦的兩種活動的機會，例如與我們一起在相對落後地區進行服務工作等等，相信如此也能以教授的高度啟發更多人群。同樣地，當未來我們在服務有需要之人的能力更加成熟，並具備提供如周教授這類大師足夠演出回饋的空間與條件時，我們也會再行說明是時的立場與誠摯邀請周教授登台演出。
再次感謝您們帶給我們的諸多啟發。謹祝一切順心如意！
Light Up Laughter前身為Knight Club 全體敬上
註：LIGHT UP LAUGHTER即KNIGHT CLUB
也是一個相信透過種種具體而微的善行善念，便能夠讓社會更加詳和、使世界更加美好的利他團體
In Malaysia, my teammate arrived later than
expected due to certain troubles he had encountered.
“I know you’d have had things to do, so I skipped
asking my friend to meet you first.” Confidently he explained to me the details
of his delay, his swift decision-making process resulted his arrival no later
than 24 hours. Afterwards, I was introduced to his friend, a local person who
already made contact, on behalf of us, with the necessary authorities for an
investigation towards us serving the very needed.
Enveloped by the night, the city where I used
to travel as a flight attendant breathes with different tempos presently. This new
friend of ours took us to places to understand more about this nation,
something I wished to be doing many years ago but never managed to do so. Until
today, except for that 100 USD given to my teammate, I never received any
further notification about how much more I should pay for all the good things I
have experienced there this time—the cozy accommodations, the various local
delicacies bought and brought in front of my mouth-watering body, the much hospitable
family members of my new friend who fed us with even more food… Driving into
the mountains and the highways for long hours, this friend of ours never dozed
off, nor would he complain about being exhausted.
Just when I wonder the reasons behind for
me to be so blessed, I must fly to another city to meet another person who has
cooked for me some very nutritious food, enough for me to go through another
full 24 hours. For more than 8 hours, our conversation never once ceased,
except for the time I took a short nap due to that early flight. It never came
into my mind that I should remind my friends in the previous city about where I
left that key to a door of the place where we last stayed until I landed my
homeland. Fortunately the issue was dealt with. Enriched by the whole
experience, my spirit is higher than ever.
How do you explain the harmony inside you
singing like many piously religious individuals marching for the pilgrimage,
with roads laying ahead of you for millions of miles combined, but you sense
the great fortunes shafting towards you similar to the constant waves oceans
have given birth to, enwrapping you to that core of truth and goodness, and
that core lights up all the laughter you can bring to the others, and thus back
to yourself, with every second and minute as the unit? Through my life, I see
the celebration reflecting what my Mom has said to me when she has her mind
functioning a lot better,
“To give more, one receives more.”
To be not caught by the day-to-day
frustrations, that one way forward is to keep doing something beneficial to the
others. It is never about the outcome, the size of the work, the whatever
people enjoy compare and contrast with. Always, it is about how we can face our
conscience when we are all alone, we know from the bottom of our heart and
soul, we are doing our best to make the others better and better every day. When
we can pass the questioning we never hesitate to ask, about whether we have
made things right, and when we know all we have to do is to give the things our
best, especially those connected with making others’ lives easier, we come to
the point that wherever we go and whatever we do, we feel there are extra
bonuses everywhere. Such would be the exact feelings from my part now when it
comes to facing the needed.
Dear L,
Take good care there.
I never feel you ought to go for the Kenyan
trip this time. Merely, I feel since you officially inform the rest that you
need to have a break from the altruistic deeds, take that break but do let our
folks become aware about your returning back to those altruistic deeds—
that is, when you want to.
If it’s not the things we’re focusing on,
keep sharing with the others what you’ve done so that you can practice your
levels of impact, which is in existence every day, everywhere, as our thoughts,
just ideas, are already sources of energy bouncing back and forth in the spaces
holding us, and far, far beyond.
Like I have explained, to serve the others
is really that one thing which can burn people out. In the modern as well as
the more technically not-that-developed societies alike, MONEY can be the talk
of topics on daily basis. As I have chosen to be volunteering without any formal
organizations to begin with, at different places of the world, focusing on
matters related to humanitarian sides of the issues humanities are confronted
with, money may be the root of all evils, for people can abuse the fact good
deeds can be done with people wishing to help, while for those who are in dire
needs, they can borrow one amount after another without paying back, claiming
they are doing businesses or going to schools, all for the uplifting of their
communities, while for those in developing nations who have received the guests
I have brought, they can become too arrogant or greedy to keep standing at the identical
positions like that of mine plus those working voluntarily with me. On top of
all these, there can be words verbalized by those who do not see the importance
of interactions made with any of such groups of people and species I have
served, right in front of me, as if languages themselves do not serve their
purposes of spitting or insult. Worse, there can be those who are around you
who used to tell you that all these helping out altruistically can be crucial,
yet, later on, they disappear from the picture. Viewed from any angle, to help
the needed is not a funny joke bringing those out there much happiness.
For example, I used to have had the
pleasure to meet a few persons who walked on the voluntary paths, according to
their titles in their respective entities; when I looked at them into their
eyes, though, I could not see too much pleasure from the actions in helping out.
Rather, I noted the burdens they experienced through their body language, which
is much alike to so many people we deal with, bump into, and see every day. When
I was questioned as if I were a criminal the other day at the same floor where I
stay now, I see the pandemic of civilization has spread its power to every corner
of our world, that we become so suspicious that we have chosen not to believe
in anyone outside our social circle. Remarkably we have chased enough
successes; likewise, we have lost so much inner freedom granting us no materials
necessary for our upbeat happiness because of our wealth inside.
At such moments (when people do burn out),
think about people like Florence Nightingale, the person single-handed initiated
the nursing department in colleges, beginning from the UK but all the ways to
all those nations influenced by that GREAT BRITAIN colonization, including the
US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, places where English is the mother tongue, where,
today, nursing staffers in these nations are reputedly well-paid, like an old
classmate of yours whom you told me before, working in North America, when
nurses at Florence Nightingale’s era were viewed as prostitutes and/or domestic
servants. In her entire life, Florence Nightingale’s bed-bound due to her
whatever diseases, and she lived in that era where females should never voice
any opinions anywhere but getting married, having kids, diligently constituting
their traditional roles. In fact, not just Florence Nightingale, but many
others who tried their best to make others’ lives better have also carried
tremendous amounts of burdens on their shoulders physically and psychologically
speaking.
“My emotions are shattered, with a bit of sorrow, anger, doubt,
pity, and so on, everywhere. I used to believe that there is nothing wrong at
all about my life and everyone around it…” This friend of mine cooking
different types of food for me to savor when we meet with each other confesses.
All the time when we are talking, I am looking at all those many stories I have
heard or known about heartbreaking, losses, tragedies. In front of all these
negatively dramatic situations, the only word I can produce for not merely this
friend, but also all those whom I have talked to, in addition to all those whom
I have met, is ALTRUISM, the antidote to all the sufferings, scientifically
proven and practically evidential through anecdotal experiences across
generations. Gradually I have learned there are many people who are easily
frustrated, angered, even when something, in others’ eyes, very tiny has taken
place; there are also those who are so generous in every aspect up to a level
that is not easy to tell whether these people are merely faking or truly
benevolent since they are just kind all the time. In the end, I notice one
significant difference between these two groups of people, one is with those
who have, in their actions, given the others their time, energy, professional
skills for free, voluntarily speaking, because they believe in doing good to
the others, and another who can be easily agitated, frustrated, emotional and
so on simply out of the fact that in their lives, being altruistic is never in
the picture, be it personal choice or an influence from the living environments
surrounding such people.
In the very modern societies, technological
advancements are out of our imagination.
Apparently, through all these years, you have
tried your level best, which is incredible itself, so it’s unlikely I shall be
abandoning you from this mind of mine; hence, your wording of thanking me of
thinking about you is really something amuses me. To tell the truth, from time
to time I notice people are surprised by my “friendly connections” with them
when it comes to “tiny” issues related to them only. Queer as I can be, I am
also quite confused by the ways I am behaving—it is as I have literally turned
myself into everybody from time to time… But how can this be possible that in
one person, so many others can live inside? Indeed I feel I must be going nuts
hahaha~~~ Should I be worried about my sanity, you think?
To remind myself that I need to write you, I
just feel it is such a pity that you’ve waited for so long to go overseas for
such a journey to serve the others, you had tried your level best over there
where you would feel defeated, not triumphant or proud of yourself. To me, it’s
hard to imagine someone not rewarding one’s self, particularly you have that
tenderness, that caring nature in you which doubtlessly should be celebrated by
all.
Then, your actions and decision-making
processes make me truly return back to Hope and wonder about myself once more—why
is it that I still have the necessary characters to forge ahead, in spite of
all the troubles and headaches triggered by all these, including countless
misunderstanding from people of different skin colors, endless discussions made
across the oceans with all those who are with varied backgrounds? How strange
it is that I am still this glowing like a firefly soaring everyday everywhere…
I ask these questions not to indicate there
is greatness in me, for I believe there is greatness in every single person,
nor do I need anyone, esp. you, to compliment me, as I have swum in compliments
that I feel I can be choked in one of those days to come. As a matter of fact, I
just wonder whether I have truly forgotten all the troubles troubling me in the
past along this journey of helping the others… GOSH
OR, would there be some sorts of thresholds
which we all need to pass… Say, for example, after serving the others without
asking anything in return for 1,000 hours, we become indominable, treating
every piece of challenge as invisible? If so, should we not encourage the
others to do so, regardless of people’s social-economic backgrounds so we would
hear less complaints about life, work, or education, but we altogether become
more encouraging? After all, I am not the way I am today from DAY ONE?! As a
result, there must be some learning curves?!
Were there a learning curve, I keep
thinking about that time when you invited me to visit your child’s school where
I was invited to talk the students who’re in their adolescence, moving onto universities/colleges.
Like those whom I have served dearly in east Africa, they grow up, becoming
adults, building families or not. There are those whom I have encouraged that “Since
you’ve been helped by me and some donors, is it possible you also help those
who are in need, whom I do not know, in your communities, those who are vulnerable?”
They have done so, and once they have done it, to spread the warmth and care,
it seems their levels of happiness become higher and higher. These make me
wonder how long I would like to wait for myself to complete my experimental
stages, to institutionalize some mechanism where practices of altruism should
be emphasized due to their overwhelming power affecting people to be more strenuous.
When people do good things, they change, and everybody changes…it seems so
apparent. Maybe it is simply due to its being apparent, people tend to neglect
such possible, positive changes?
Besides, think about those whom you have
associated with, identical to you in a sense that they're also my students, no
matter how young or old they are. Has it ever occurred to you that you could
have talked to them, if not me, for emotions dragging you far away from practices
of altruism, or, more tragically, hopefully only temporarily, downward?
What would they say towards your decisions,
your ideas, and your ways of looking at things, after we completed this journey,
once they understand about your viewpoints?
Shall they give you some inspirations if
you allow them, or will they mock at you?
Perhaps the bottom line would be whether
you trust them enough to put your heart in front of them; at the same time, it
is also about whether you trust yourself enough to present yourself in front of
the others. Don't you think so?
My students in the elementary school where I
have worked ask me this question after I have done a presentation about an icon
social business example in front of the entire student body.
“Teacher, why are you talking so elegantly
in front of everyone? Are you not afraid?”
My supervisors, on the other hand, were
perplexed that I did not request any assistive equipment, for I explained to
them that
“I only need to talk to the students by
looking at them. Nothing else is needed.” In disbelief, one of them still made
a poster for me the previous evening when I needed to talk; instead of using it
right where I needed to talk, I think that person for her good intentions, reminding
her that I already made things clear enough that it would unnecessary for
anything to accompany me when I presented the content the next day, and that
they could have used the poster at other occasions.”
Frustrated, this person said “I’ve wasted
my time.”
I could have thought so, too, when another
school pupil told me “All you’re talking about is the TOILETS.” He’s not wrong.
It would be a part of my speech lasting for a few minutes only, and I could not
tell him that he was wrong. What he has missed, though, would be that I have shared
with the students when I read a classic example about a person who grew up in a
family which made a living by cleaning the others’ old-fashioned toilet bowls
but ended up helping millions of those who’re from the same background. It is
also about TOILETS. That made the student very correct. The problem is, when he
was talking about it, this pre-teen used the sort of tone easily agitating and/or
upsetting any adults. Remaining calm, I did not retort after hearing him. The reality
is, I did not react to his words completely. I carried on with what I needed to
carry on in the classroom.
Later, when the teaching session ended, I feel
completely sorry for this student of mine who’s so bright, from obviously an
affluent family background: he could not comprehend at other parts of the
world, like where he’s right now, some minds will absorb what I have said, they
would produce some very constructive notions about how much impact this person
in the world of social business has contributed to those from extreme poverty,
and how they, too, can make a difference.
Based on this one single story, we cannot
help but consider about the darkness of the human mind, from when it is formed,
and for how long it lingers there. The most crucial question is,
Will the darkness go away?
Before answering this question, if I felt
intimidated by the project of talking in front of the student body, I could
have utilized every resource possible to make me feel that my presentation is
better—other students could be there to hold that poster for me when I talked, whereas
the faculty members could have sensed my level of anxiety so they’d get
themselves to support me when I could not make it. Moreover, when one student
showed his distain regarding the whole issue, I could have felt frustrated
enough to go away from my singing or dancing routines. Instead, I feel totally
empathetic to this soul, even to this very minute when I am writing, that due
to his attitude, he will find it hard to socialize with the others, even under
the assistance of AI, all the technological devices combined.
How do we help such a student?
At this moment, it would be at my wit’s
end, so I am still thinking, which is why I chose to be silent.
Now, after we return, you also choose to be
silent. I am still inquisitive enough to wish to ask you,
Is it possible you think about all the good
things you have done to the others, at this stage, instead of focusing on those
which made you feel you are not good enough?
If you become your own cheerleader, for
once, twice, or three times, will it be possible that one day when you are face
to face with someone like that student, or that colleague of mine, you would
treat them with equal grace while leaving them without disturbing your own
inner peace so that you still have the power to keep doing things you need to
do.
Identically, have we given a thought that
when Florence Nightingale was completely alone at nights as she chose to be
single, at periods when only perhaps candles worked to illuminate her evening
hours, when those demons inside her, those from the total darknesses came out,
how would she tackle those?
I tend to believe it was based on the fact
she treated all those lives dearly that she would have to erase the darkness in
her mind, or else she would not be able to do anything, as she would have been
paralyzed from the overwhelming tasks. The “eraser” she utilized would be her
actions—the more she focused on those that she could do, the more strengths she
would gather to help her cope with the frustrations.
Therefore, the question is often “What
shall we do to keep forging ahead?”
During the past years, I began traveling to
cities where I used to frequently travel when I worked as a flight attendant. For
these cities in developing or developed nations, each and every of them can be
quite different or still identical to the time when I flew there years ago. With
their advancement or not, these cities, alongside with their airports, tell different
stories of their respective nation. In 2026, I have had the pleasure to visit
two such cities due to my humanitarian actions. Apparently, one of them is not
far from the time I flew there before, whereas another has become even more
advanced, with tourists from everywhere taking photos at places of that airport
currently ranking at the top of the world. In the meanwhile, when I absorb the
vibe in that extremely fancy airport, I also receive the most challenging new
disturbing anyone who seems to have a life filled with peace and joy as a
friend, a former student of mine, discloses the story of turmoil related to
extremely negative feelings and incidences linking with mistrusts, lies, power,
fortune, and love.
As a result, at this stage, based on these
findings, even prolonged discussions about related matters, including how
possibly we can position ourselves in a matter finely proposed by people with
good intentions, I can fairly analyze the outcome of joint meetings here and
there towards this unprecedented proposal issued by one of the most wonderfully
kind persons we have known, Mrs. Ku, regarding holding an overseas journey to
Suzhou, with the motivation behind such to “generate more financially speaking
so that people living in extreme poverty, those whom we have served dearly, can
be served continually,” says Mrs. Ku, who believes that like her and her
outstanding friend, Prof. Chou, I went overseas for further education at
similar era like that of theirs. However, with Prof. Chou at the identical era
like that of mine being born and was overseas when she was barely a junior high
school student, my saga of stepping into the world of total English would not
have arrived until more than a decade later.
These sorts of gaps never make our
collaborations hard.
Dear Sisi and Prof. Chou,
Many thanks for your hospitability. Both of
your passion and devotion to making the world a better place is something we’ve
felt touching about.
Regarding two major issues in relation to
our humanitarian efforts worldwide, after prolonged discussions, we have come
to certain conclusions which we’d like to report back to you.
First, thanks to Sisi’s invitation, around
3 to 5 of us have the intention to visit Suzhou this October for an
investigation towards possibly utilizing the city as one of our “bases” holding
both “tourism” activities and “lectures.” In terms of TOURISM, after our
assessment about that city is done, we will discuss and decide whether in the
future, that city meets our demands. About LECTURES, we intend to continue our
ways of holding events where people who have done considerable amount of
voluntary gestures are with the mindset of volunteers who share with the
audience their professional know-hows in any specific domain—since they do this
gesture voluntarily, we do not need to be concerned about where the finance is
from but we’re spreading nice messages to everyone involved. Moreover, when
audiences intend to donate, the financial gains can be geared towards financing
those who are serving the needed, under the selection procedures done by our
selected panel of judges. If this kind of pattern can work out, we believe we
can form many positive possibilities in the days to come as we can then
directly and indirectly assist many, regardless of where we are based. This is
also one of the major reasons we object the idea of Hope’s long stay in Suzhou,
China, at the current stage: there’re other things going on with us. We feel it
may be a lot better that her management skills can be applied at other regions
such as Malaysia where we have also chosen to serve.
Second, we truly appreciate Prof. Chou’s
efforts in meeting our teacher, Hope. After listening to the discussion made
that day, with Prof. Chou and Sisi present, we have discussed about the entire
matter with care. Presently, the conclusion we can draw is that holding a
classical music concert, or, in fact, any kind of events other than the
above-mentioned LECTURE aiming at sharing with the others focusing on helping
the needed, can be out of our reach. Scale and scope-wise, we are not those
foundations that can support talents like Prof. Chou whose talents we all
admire highly. It is our belief that by not only this method, but also the
suggestions brought by Sisi for Prof. Chou to link herself with the academic
world in Suzhou that Prof. Chou can move further in her outstanding career.
Perhaps during Prof. Chou’s road of excellence, she will also spend some time
with us when we “work” at different parts of the world. This way, we may all
find it is a lot easier for all of us to connect with one another. In case
Prof. Chou should like to join us for the “LECTURE” mentioned earlier,
comfortably she will be able to inspire more people from her level. Likewise,
shall we become more advanced in our skills in serving the needed and find it
is likely we can offer masters like Prof. Chou the sufficient rewards of
performance, we will voice so in the days to come.
Thank you again for offering us many
different inspirations. We can only wish you nothing but all the best!
Sincerely
Light Up Laughter, Former Knight Club,
a Tiny Group of People Believing in Making
the World a Better Place Through Simple Gestures
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