神話 MYTHOLOGY
本作品中文置於英語之後，英語先行創作，中文由於時間有限，暫以多數為網路翻譯文字為主，待日後若有機會予以校正，再行重新編纂。
"How Can You Not Have A Nickname?! Every
Taiwanese I Know Have A Nickname!!!" My foreign friends noted.
There are people who are “daring” enough to
allow me to teach them, their kids, and/or their parents because they’ve witnessed
the ways I have applied to teach people, and they believe I can make them
better each and every day, not just in the directions of their linguistic
proficiencies, but also in their search of a wholesome person regarding their
mind, soul, and body. In the past one to two years, at my homeland where people
do not stress the importance of angles that much but gods and goddesses based more
or less on Buddhism and/or Taoism, adults young and old scattered at different
parts of Taiwan have begun to refer to me as a deity spreading messages of
warmth and aspirations. I cannot comprehend the fact that I can be rated as not
a human being anymore, after being referred those in the mountains of east
Africa as “Mom” and some white friends of mine as “Angel.” I was already in
shock when people who’re much older called me their mother. To be referred to
as a deity is even worse, for I am merely a human being. Of course, what I need
people to call me or see me is very simple, Hope, or “Lao-Shih,” teacher in our
mother tongue, since I am convinced that I am always learning, and I would like
to keep doing so. Even as a person in the field of education, I am not truly in
the mindset of making myself a leader, though many, many times, there are
people who have mentioned about me as being a “Leader.” Often, I wonder what
that means, from the reality that I am just doing things I need to do, assisting
those who are in despairs, have lost hope, and feel they are not good enough,
whatever “good” it can signify here.
May I not have any “nickname” but just me?
I would often ask myself.
Anyhow, based on all the humanitarian
actions taken and benevolent thoughts cultivated when I am still in the field
of education, actually feeling quite fond of it, I realize when I talk to some
students of mine, they never learn what their parents, their parents’ parents
and predecessors have anything to do with 1949, the time when China was under
total communism which witnessed millions fleeing to places surrounding China,
be it Hong Kong, Taiwan, Vietnam, Myanmar and so on, and with all these places
all of a sudden swarming with “people who have fled” like refugees occupying
much space before generating the existing demographic composition of such societies
to be slight or rather different. When my teenager students begin to ask me
more and more questions extracting my pool of knowledge towards that era of
turbulence, my understanding of the world and its orbits, so that I can offer
them answers, gradually I have come to this realization that what I have done
is never just for myself, is never merely from this person called Hope—those deeds
deemed by most as righteous and helpful are from my parents, my grandparents,
and my forefathers who’re helpful to the others, regardless from which perspective
they’re examining things, offering their viewpoints and their hand to the
others. Doubtlessly I have their best parts in them imbued into me; when I am practicing
their best parts as a whole, certainly I am able to excel in this area of
altruism by giving, mainly, the knowledge I have gained during my career.
When these kinds of thoughts are there in
my mind, while in just a few days, all of those visiting Indonesia with me will
join me to try our best to make a difference to some villagers living in that
developing nation, and among those of my countrymen, nearly ten individuals are
retirees who’re not youths in appearance anymore,
When people praise me, I feel I am merely
doing things I need to do, whereas when I am attacked by opinions from others,
there are mainly two things I am considering about—one, how I will be more
advanced on this journey of helping more, and two, whether those referring me
to the others can survive such criticism, since, after all, they may have
arrived at a point in their lives that they realize what Hope has done is
revolutionary and they feel obliged to help the others understand what I have
done.
As a matter of fact, different people do
things quite differently; consequently, just like what my friend with the
endeavor to introduce her slow-life hometown to travelers from all of the world
has mentioned,
“Even towards the same thing, interpreters
can have different interpretations.”
I find these words to be so true, and those
different ways of doing good, altruistic things to the others may also open
different chapters of different stories, which is why some people may find it
odd that when I do these humanitarian projects of mine, I never really stress
the importance of making things “HUGE” enough so that more donations,
willing-minded and so on will arrive. Maybe this is one of the reasons when
there are voices
Always I can recall the rising of her voice
in total surprise: one of my college students asked me,
“Why is it that they need to pay for nearly
5 times more than us to just go to Kenya, and they’re spending merely a week,
but we get to spend a lot longer and seeing a lot more, something unlike the
tourist group through mingling with the locals?”
At that moment, I reasoned with this
student that the group consisted of certain professionals who have the capability
to spend like that, whereas we’ve mingled with the locals who can care for us
in different ways, offering us the opportunity to serve via giving and to see
wildlife just as those tourists can. Today, however, I would voice my answer
differently. Mostly I would be grateful and consider about the fact that some
good things to be done are never costly while we can do two good things at the
same time; in this case, we do good and travel to see new things by using perhaps
the same amount of energy.
All we need is time. Because we are all
stemming from the same soul, with no difference, with patience and gratitude,
we shall conquer the darkest shadows dwelling in our deepest thoughts where I finally
go into the world of comprehension towards how so many writers, scientists,
philosophers, religious leaders etc. would say that “We are all one…We belong
to that oneness.” After all, in each and every person, like when I see myself, I
feel the emotions of these forefathers, grandparents, parents and children of
these different individuals. It is just like some modern scientists have
expressed, that there is no life and death due to the fact we are not truly
born, nor can we actually die. We are all a part of that greatness which is also
us, each of us.
With all the time I have gotten in this
lifetime, that I am not really bound by any institution or frame, I was,
therefore firstly drawn to a place called Xin-yi, where I used to grow up, in
the northern part of Taiwan, a part of the capital city, Taipei. Later on, I was
called to be at the central part of Taichun, where I used to spend much time
with my maternal grandparents in one of those “Juan Village” where migrants in 1949
or so would later live inside; at a point of my career, sent by the private institute
I used to work at, I must travel to Taichung for English classes to teach for
adult students. How would we be able explain these connections between those
spots I have to be at, instead of living in places overseas for good. What are my
ancestors trying to say to me? What are all these people whom I have met, whom I
have had nothing in connection but to be kind and good, would like to convey to
me via their ancestors, their loved ones somewhere else, perhaps heaven? Are there
nothing that is destined or is destiny everywhere we go?
Before I attempt to answer any of these
questions, let me state that I feel like homecoming, heartwarming when I communicate
with people from all walks of life at various places of the world, which is
perhaps one of the reasons many have voiced that they seem to have seen me
somewhere. Definitely there are connectedness around is when we feel like linking
with the others, isn’t it? I guess it is one of the major reasons when I circled
the entire island, I mean, Taiwan, sometimes by myself driving alone, other
moments with maybe a friend or two inside, but still mainly me who is driving,
as I reached places where I had never been, I feel such pleasure, with that
kind of honesty, to be able to see the oceans and/or mountains looking identical
to the beach in Bali Island, Indonesia.
Is it because I have never forgotten those ladies
selling some swimming gears around the beach where I used to visit as a flight
attendant, so it becomes not that hard from time to time to enjoy interacting
with so many different people when I am also learning from them, on and on, in
a continuous fashion, for all the great lessons to be learned while enjoying
these interactions during those amazing journeys in my life to encounter more
people. Through their stories and faces, I must have seen so many stories and
faces behind them, each of them playing that orchestra like the ancient mythologies
interpreted by scholars of our times.
Never have I imagined, though, that there
seem to be myths we can weave altogether, for the later days, for those whom I have
met now, and for their children’s children to savor, thanks to our brilliantly
splendid encounters with one another. Of course, the word “myth” may be too
grand, too arrogant at this moment, but no one has ever ruled that a myth has
to start from somewhere, something extremely large-scaled, nor has anyone claimed
that a hero and/or a heroine needs to be individuals with existing glamours
only. So thank you for being there at sites related to me as you are creating
your own legends, myths belonging to yourself, and stories for you to digest by
yourselves!
「妳怎麼可能沒有綽號？！我們認識的每一個台灣人都有綽號！！！」我的外籍友人們說及。但在說綽號之前，倒是可以先談談其他的方方面面。
有些人「夠大膽」，願意讓我教導他們、他們的孩子，甚至他們的父母，因為他們親眼見證了我教學的方法與實踐方式，也相信我能讓他們一天比一天更好——不只是語言能力的提升，更是在心智、靈魂與健康層面，成為一個更完整、更健全的人。
在過去一、兩年間，在我的家鄉——一個人們不那麼強調天使的存在，而較多信奉佛教與／或道教神祇的地方——台灣各地、不論年齡大小的人，開始稱呼我為傳遞溫暖與希望訊息的「神祇」。
我實在無法理解，為什麼自己會被視為不再只是個人類——先前在東非山區，有人稱我為「媽媽」，一些白人朋友則稱我為「天使」。當比我年長許多的人叫我「母親」時，我已經相當震驚了；而被稱作神祇，更讓我難以承受，因為我終究只是一個普通人。
其實，我希望人們稱呼我、或看待我的方式非常簡單——叫我 Hope，或是「老師」就好。因為我深信自己一直都在學習，也希望能持續學習。即便身處教育領域，我從未真正把自己放在「領導者」的位置上，儘管很多很多次，人們提到我時，會用「領袖」這個詞。
我常常思考這些究竟代表什麼，因為在我的認知裡，我只是做我該做的事，幫助那些身陷絕望、失去希望、或者覺得自己不夠好的人——不論「好」在這裡意味著什麼。
我常問自己：
難道我不能沒有任何其他的命名及稱號，就只是Hope嗎？
總之，在我仍身處教育現場、並且其實相當熱愛這份工作的同時，基於我所採取的各種人道行動與所培養的善念，我逐漸發現，當我與一些學生交談時，他們其實並不了解民國三十八年與他們的父母、祖父母，乃至我們彼此之間更早的先人等等，有什麼關聯——那是一個赤色世界，數以百萬計的人逃離家園，湧向包括香港、台灣、越南、緬甸等等。這些地方突然湧入大量「逃難者」，就像難民一般，占據了原本的空間，進而全面形塑、以及或多或少改變了既有的社會人口結構。
當我的青少年學生開始問我越來越多關於那個動盪年代的問題，試圖從我所累積的知識中尋找答案——關於我對世界與其運行方式的理解——在一次次回應他們的過程中，我逐漸意識到：我所做的一切，從來不只是為了我自己，也不只是來自於這個名叫 Hope 的人。
我漸漸發現，我自己那些被多數人視為正直、助人的行為，其實來自我的父母、(外)祖父母，以及更早的祖先——那些不論從哪個角度看，都願意幫助他人、提出觀點、伸出援手的人。毫無疑問的是，他們最美好的部分早已注入我的生命之中；當我實踐並整合這些美好特質時，我自然能在利他的道路上有所發揮，尤其是透過分享我在職業生涯中所累積的知識。
當這些念頭在我腦中浮現，而就在短短幾天後，所有將與我一同前往印尼的人，也會和我一起盡我們最大的努力，為那個發展中國家的某些村落裡面的居民、老老少少等，帶來改變；而在這些與我們一起同行的同胞之中，近十位都是早已退休、看似繁華落盡的長者，可是，他們卻願意作一場不同的行動，來進行一種不一樣的使命，這令我動容的程度，不亞於任何令人激動不已的事宜。
事實上，不同的人，做事方式本就不同。正如我那位致力於向世界旅人介紹她慢活家鄉的朋友所說：
「即使面對同一件事，不同的詮釋者，也會有不同的解讀。」
我深表同意。自然地，在行善、利他的方式全然不同的景況下，也會開啟不同的故事篇章。這或許也是為什麼，有些人覺得奇怪：當我進行這些助人計畫時，從不特別強調要把事情做得「夠大」，好讓更多捐款或更多志同道合的人湧入。也許正因如此，才會出現一些不同的聲音……
我始終記得一位大學生驚訝到提高音量的那一刻：
「為什麼他們只是去肯亞一個星期，就要付出我們將近五倍的費用，而我們卻能待更久、看到更多，還能不像觀光團那樣，而是真正與當地人互動？」
當時，我向她解釋，那個旅行團由某些專業人士組成，他們有那樣的經濟能力；而我們則是與當地人一起生活，他們用不同的方式照顧我們，讓我們既能付出服務，也能像觀光客一樣看到野生動物。
但如果是今天，我會用不同的方式回答。我會滿懷感恩並仔細思考：
有些善行義舉其實並不昂貴，卻能同時完成兩件好事——在與我相關的這個些例子當中，我們既行善、也旅行、同時見識新事物，所付出的能量或許和一場昂貴的旅程相同，只是意義或許不大一樣。
我們所需要的，只是耐心。
因為我們都源自同一個靈魂，並無差異；只要懷抱耐心與感恩，我們終將戰勝潛藏在內心最深處的黑暗陰影。也正是在這樣的體悟中，我終於理解，為何那麼多作家、科學家、哲學家、宗教領袖會說：
「我們全部來自於同一個物件……我們統統彼此相屬。」
畢竟，在每一個人身上——就如同我在自己身上所看到的——我能感受到那些祖先、祖父母、父母與孩子們的情感。正如一些現代科學家所言，人世之間的生與死並不真正存在，因為我們從未真正誕生，也無法真正死亡；我們都是那份偉大的一部分，而那份偉大，也正是我們自己。
在這一生中，因著我的選擇，而使我擁有相對自主的決定權，並未被任何制度或框架所束縛。因此，我首先被牽引回一個名叫信義區的地方工作——它位處台灣北部、屬於台北市，也是我在少女時期成長的地方。後來，我又被這一聲又一聲的呼喚而前往台中市的市中心，在中友百貨、在台中一中、在台中火車站那些地方，竟然時隔多年，我用另一種不一樣的視角來看待這個城市，而這樣的城市，那裡有我的姥爺姥姥(即外公外婆)、和太姥(即姥姥的母親)所居住過的眷村，是民國三十八年前後遷徙來台的人們後來定居之處。在某個較為早期的、我職涯當中的某個階段，我因為任職的私人機構，也不時被派往台中教授成人英語課程。
在一位退休老師建立了名為hope的LINE群組的同一天，那也是她號召其他幾位前輩要到「審計新村」參觀的日子，而「審計新村」正是我的太姥、姥爺、姥姥都曾經居住過的地方……我記得那附近的向上國中，我也記得當時的審計新村旁的竹林與河流中的大白鵝，即便到今天我還沒有再到那裡去一次的機緣，但那些記憶卻如此深刻，深刻到我記得自己身為一個圓滾滾的小女生，曾經在向上國中的草地上面玩著含羞草，也記得在姥爺家的門口的小水溝被蜜蜂狠狠咬過一口，還記得那個院子裡面太姥及姥姥曾經養過的公雞、母雞、小雞。
我們該如何解釋，為何我必須待在這些地點，而不是長久定居海外？
我的先祖究竟想對我說些什麼？
他們有什麼言語是希望透過我而和他人表述的嗎？
那些我遇見的每一個不分中外之人
——原本與我毫無關聯，卻只是彼此善待、彼此為善的人士——
是否正透過他們的祖先、所愛之人，從某個地方、也許是天堂，向我傳遞訊息？
這世上究竟有沒有命定這件事？
或者，命運其實無所不在？
與其嘗試回答這些或許無解的問題，我不如這樣表示：
當我與來自世界各地、不同背景的人交流時，我總有一種像是回到熟悉的家園的感覺，一種溫暖在心中流動。
或許正因如此，許多人會說，他們好像曾在哪裡見過我。
當我們感覺彼此連結時，連結本來就存在，不是嗎？
我想，這也是為什麼此番在印尼之行前當我必須因為行程的關係，而駕駛著我的小型國產車幾乎算是環台一周
——我是說，整個台灣——
有時獨自開車，有時載著一兩位朋友，但多半仍是我一個人在駕駛；當我抵達那些從未到過的地方時，內心充滿喜悅與真誠，只因能目光所及的那些海洋與山巒，竟也與印尼的海岸線如此相似。
是不是因為我從未忘記，當年身為空服員時，在海灘旁販售游泳用品的那些印尼婦女們呢？
所以，當我在一次又一次的旅程中，與形形色色的人互動、向他們學習時，這一切變得如此自然、如此愉悅。
透過他們的故事與臉龐，我彷彿看見了更多隱藏在背後的故事與面孔
——每一個人，都像是在演奏一場交響樂，如同當代學者們嚐試詮釋的古老神話一般。
然而，我從未想過，我們竟能共同編織出屬於未來的神話——
為了此刻相遇的彼此，也為了他們的子子孫孫，在未來細細品味。這一切，都源於我們彼此之間那一次次燦爛而美好的相遇。
當然，「神話」這個詞，或許此刻顯得過於宏大、甚至有些自大；但從未有人規定，神話必須從某個極其龐大的事件開始，也從未有人說，英雄一定得是光芒萬丈的人物。
所以，謝謝您出現在與我相關的生命場域中
——以及我們一路從台灣的北部辦到中部的所有溫馨分享的場次中，所有的人在真心誠意的情況之下，所提出的種種感動和各式畫面，那樣的美好確實如此令人動容!!!
我們始終不能忘懷的，是在您創造屬於自己的傳奇時，正也同時寫下屬於您自己的神話，以及那些最終只屬於您的、等待您自己細細咀嚼的人生故事。
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